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14 real ways to show compassion to others and yourself.

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“There is no small act of kindness. Every compassionate act makes large the world.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

I’ve been thinking about compassion a lot lately. I think it is one quality that sums up a lot of what gives direction in my life, what motivates my choices and actions. Compassion.

I’ve often been advised to not go so deep into things when I talk about animal welfare, issues with fast fashion, or reducing the amount of waste we throw away mindlessly.

To others, it seems that these problems are so omnipresent and deeply rooted that no action can ever have any impact and it’s a waste to make myself suffer for them. I am asked to take it easy and not trouble my life.

But, all of this hails from compassion. If I can’t solve a problem fully, I can still solve some of it. Why think in an all-or-nothing framework? Each act counts. Each sacrifice counts. Each life counts. Each act of compassion counts.

What is compassion?

The definition of compassion, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary , is the "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."

So, compassion is not only about observing suffering, it is also about wanting to reduce or end it. And, I think that’s powerful. It’s a quality that must exist in each human being on this planet.

Compassion vs Empathy

Compassion is a great friend of empathy which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. I will not pit these two against each other and tell you which is better, because we need both.

We need compassion and we need empathy to change the nature of the world, to change the lives of human beings and animals, to change ourselves, and restore the health of the natural world.

I see that I’m talking quite passionately about compassion, but that’s how much I believe in it. To not only look and feel someone’s suffering, but also take action to heal it is a true act of growth, not only for yourself but for the state of the world.

Each time someone shows compassion, we save the world. We might not save all of it, but that shouldn’t be our concern. Our concern must only be doing all that is in our power, the rest will take care of itself.

Alright then, now that we’ve talked about compassion, let’s talk about how to show it, to others and yourself.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

How to show compassion to others

1. grow your awareness.

Before we show compassion, we must be aware of someone’s pain and suffering. So, the first step is to open our eyes to see others and how they are, and what they’re going through.

This applies not only to the people you know, but to people around the world, animals, and the environment. Once we feel compassion, we then ask ourselves what they need and what is possible for us to do.

So, let’s not live n bubbles anymore, aware of only our problems, but let’s open up our hearts to suffer together so that we can all heal together.

2. Understand their side of the story

A very important part of compassion that helps in eliminating judgment and helps us take the right steps is to understand what someone is going through.

What is the state of their life? What might not be meeting the eye? How do they feel?

When you see someone who’s not having an easy time, take the initiative to let them know that you want to listen to them only with the intent of understanding them.

People need others to understand them more than they need them to do something about their situation.

3. Control your negative reactions

An act of compassion that must be everpresent in our communication is to learn how we respond especially when we’re experiencing negative emotions like jealousy, anger, fear, guilt, and contempt.

It often happens that in the midst of these emotions we end up lashing out or saying what we don’t really mean to. In these times, take a step back, take a deep breath, and be alone for some time to come back to a better state.

4. Appreciate them

All of us make progress in our lives in unique shapes, forms, and speeds. Most of us would say that we’re doing the best that we can. But, do most of us feel appreciated for it?

Now, I don’t mean this in an entitled, arrogant way. But, think about the mother who goes above and beyond to provide for her children.

Think about the eldest daughter who’s constantly trying to prove that she’s worthy enough to live up to expectations. Think about the husband who’s trying to be the best for his spouse, day in and day out.

Do you know anyone like this? Can you think of people in your life that you can appreciate? This small act of compassion would take a minute of your time and might turn out to be exactly what this person was waiting for for a long time.

5. Ask them what they need

A very simple and direct way to show compassion to someone is to ask them what they need. Sometimes people want to tell what they want to receive and giving them the chance to express that shows respect and care.

Of course, we must proactively help people but when it seems that what they want isn’t something you have figured out yet, communicate that with them.

Let them know that you want to be there for them and that you need them to tell you how you can do that without causing them any more trouble.

6. Choose your words wisely

This should be needless to say, but I’ve seen far too many bad examples so let me make it a point. When someone is going through a rough time, be very careful with the words that you speak.

Don’t try to pretend that you already know why they feel so, or what is going to help them. Don’t invalidate their suffering or offer ridiculous advice like, “Just choose to be happy” or “Stop thinking about this”.

Also, don’t use humor unless you really know it will make them feel better. It can go down in quite an insensitive way too.

The best way is to listen without judging, validate their feelings, let them know that you’re there for them, and offer the appropriate help in that situation.

7. Support them

People have dreams. People have ideas. People have choices.

Although we may not agree with each other the whole time, we must know that each person is independent and deserves to experiment, learn, and shape a life with their own lessons.

So, when someone is vulnerable with you about what they’re thinking of doing, and you think it’s not a great idea, don’t shove it down.

Yes, tell them what you think about it, but in a kind way, sharing that you’d support them whichever choice they make.

This applies not only to big ideas but little things too. Support someone when they try a new recipe, start a workout challenge, try new makeup, cut their hair, or do other things.

To be the kind of person who celebrates others’ lives is a beautiful feat.

How to show compassion to yourself

1. take care of your health.

The very step in showing compassion to yourself is to take care of your health, in little and big ways.

We tend to get so busy with work or family that our health goes to the backburner. But, it’s the important thing in life. It is what supports life.

So, drink water regularly, take breaks, stretch, breath deeply, give time to yourself, eat healthily, meet your friends, stay close to your hobbies, and take care of your health.

2. Treat yourself like a human being

What is with all these extreme expectations? What is with our guilt related to rest? Why do we feel so guilty about failing sometimes?

Let’s remember that no matter how much we read and how wiser we grow, we’re still human beings.

We will need to rest, we will not always make the right decisions, we cannot function at our highest all the time, and we want to feel loved. Let’s live simply .

3. Let go of what isn’t good for you

Be it bad habits, or resentment for someone in your past, be it a stressful, unhealthy job, or comparing to other people, let go of what harms your peace.

In the long run, people often regret wasting time on what never really mattered. So, what do you need to let go of?

Recognize what you’re going through and take steps to help you overcome it.

4. Adopt healthy practices

Things like gratitude journaling , positive affirmations , meditation, therapy, morning walks, work-life balance, distancing from social media, volunteering, being in nature, reading uplifting content, and more, really do have a positive impact on us.

What interests you? Maybe you already tried something, felt good, but didn’t stick with it. But, you deserve to feel peaceful and healthy.

Try these practices and build a healthy routine around them. It doesn’t have to be fancy or too heavy.

Even if it’s just about deep breathing and writing what you’re grateful for regularly, it’s a great step forward.

5. Grow and forgive yourself

A lot of us carry the weight of the past. Maybe we don’t like what we did before, maybe something didn’t work out how we wanted it to, maybe we didn’t listen to the right people, or something else.

But, now we’ve grown, we’ve learned, and we’re doing better. So, it’s time to forgive ourselves .

And even for small things, we resent ourselves so much. Maybe we had a little awkward conversation, maybe someone saw us stumble on a stone, maybe we asked someone for help.

No one in this world does everything perfectly. We all learn from mistakes, experiences, and other people. Let’s embrace that.

6. Talk to yourself kindly

What are the words that you choose for yourself? Are you kind, understanding, and human, or are you harsh and critical?

What you say to yourself matters because it is the foundation of your relationship with yourself .

To show compassion to yourself, talk to yourself kindly.

Here are some positive affirmations (positive statements in response to yourself, your actions, or a situation) that can help you move toward a compassionate way of talking to yourself:

• I love myself just as I am today.
• I choose to be kind to myself.
• I am my own best friend.
• It is natural for me to love myself.
• I am grateful to be the person I am.
• I love each part of myself.
• I honor my life.
• I appreciate all the ways that I am unique.
• I accept my awesomeness.
• I love who I am.
• I am calm and relaxed in all situations.

7. Love and accept yourself

Self-acceptance is embracing yourself just as you are. There are no conditions attached. You accept yourself fully. It’s really important to bring in our lives because we are choosing to live.

And, in every moment of life, we are with ourselves. Imagine if you had to be with someone every single second, a person that you don’t accept, let alone love, it wouldn’t be so pleasant, right?

Now imagine not accepting yourself . If self-acceptance isn’t there, the quality of our life diminishes.

So, make the choice of loving and accepting yourself every day, in every moment. You deserve it, and you will become a better person because of it.

And, that's it! This is what compassion is about, and how we can show it to others and ourselves.

If you found this helpful, share it with your friends and family. I wish you the very best!

💗 Continue Reading: 7 Ways to Be a Good Friend to Yourself From Today

Aarushi Tewari

The writer and affirmations speaker at Gratitude, Aarushi believes that one of the most effective ways of feeling inner peace is by being grateful and having a loving self-relationship.

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“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Lately, I’ve been feeling a sense of vulnerability that I always wished I could feel without being afraid.

I have always wished I was one of those people who could show my authentic self to the world and still be able to look you in the eye after I let you see me, without quivering in shame or regret.

Not too long ago, I shared my feelings with someone who I deeply loved. This was one of the hardest, scariest things I’ve ever done, but it gave me the freedom to be vulnerable and to finally have a heart that’s ready to let love in.

Loving this person has taught me so much about love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Although he did not want the same things I want, just having him in my life has taught me more about how to feel unconditional love and genuine compassion for myself.

As a result, I am experiencing a deep level of unconditional love and compassion for others.

I used to walk around taking things very personally.

If I walked by a stranger who gave me a dirty look, or if a bank teller was rude, or if the man I loved didn’t want to love me back in the way I wanted him to, I thought it meant there was something wrong with me. However, I’m realizing that none of it has anything to do with me.

I have a brand new sense of awareness now.

When I begin to experience negative self-talk inside of me, I seem to be shifting almost immediately to a place of self-love, forgiveness, acceptance, and compassion for myself. This inner awakening has begun to translate into a new perception of my outside world.

Instead of my usual thoughts and reactions that occur when confronted with less than ideal responses from the external world, I am able to see me in you and you in me.

Right away I begin to feel compassion, because I know that you hurt, just like me, and you feel joy, just like me. You worry and feel scared sometimes, just like me. You have bad days, just like me, and you have amazing days, just like me. You are seeking, just like me. You want to believe in love, just like me.

I look at people passing me by in the store, on the streets, or in traffic, and have a deep sense of knowing that they too feel separate sometimes, and they too have times when they fear they will never be enough—just like me.

We all feel the same things.

This realization has allowed me to continue loving even when it isn’t returned to me in the exact way I initially wanted it. True love, after all, is to love someone and expect nothing in return .

I practice this daily by being honest about what’s in my heart, without holding on too tightly to the outcome.

For me, practicing love is the same as practicing the art of letting go  and giving others the freedom to just be—accepting them exactly the way they are. It’s something we can do with friends, family, love interests, and strangers alike.

I can now look this special man in the eyes and smile because I know he is just like me. I know that he can see me now because I finally revealed myself to him, and I feel good about myself for doing that.

I can accept him and just experience him for who he is and where he is on his path, because I know now that we are the same. I know that what will happen, will happen, and what will not, will not.

In the meantime, I continue to make more room inside of my heart to give and receive love.

The simple act of making a shift within has completely transformed the type of relationships I’m attracting. When you live from a place of self-love, the world mirrors love and compassion back to you.

When you give yourself unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance, you’re then able to give that to others.

Here are five tips to feel more love and compassion for yourself and therefore reflect that back to the world.

1. If you don’t feel real love for yourself yet, act as if.

Act lovingly toward yourself and do things that nurture you, make you stronger, and make you proud of who you are and how you live your life. Exercising, meditating, helping others freely, and eating a healthy diet work really well for me. Practice progress, not perfection.

2. When you feel hurt by someone else, remind yourself that they are just like you.

They hurt, feel fear, have insecurities, and feel the need to defend and protect themselves. They are no different than you and me.

At times, we all react to the programming in our minds. As you commit to feeling unconditional love and compassion for yourself and others, you will begin to transform the programming in your brain. All you need is awareness. Just be aware.

3. Remember, others are on their path just like you are on yours.

You are both just doing the best you can.

4. Be of service in the world.

Nothing will help you find compassion within yourself and for others like coming face to face with people who have much less materially and way bigger problems than you.

5. Turn within and ask your higher knowing to show you where you lack integrity, love, trust, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance.

Then ask yourself to heal.

Be patient with the process. Sometimes small shifts happen over time. Allowing your own process to unfold is an act of love in and of itself.

Photo by Kara Allyson

About Erin Lanahan

Erin is an Internationally Certified Life Coach, Yoga Instructor, and Motivational Writer and Speaker. Her mission is to inspire as many people as possible to return to their natural state of peace, abundance, health, inspiration & love so they may create the life the deeply desire. Visit her  blog  and   You Tube Page .

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Personal Beliefs — The Role Of Compassion In My Life

The Role of Compassion in My Life

• Categories: Compassion Personal Beliefs Personal Philosophy

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