Additional insights into are offered by Beyond Intractability project participants.
Anger is a natural response to certain threats. As a result, aggression is sometimes the appropriate response to anger, as it allows us to defend ourselves. Therefore, a certain amount of anger is necessary. In addition, anger can be useful in expressing how we feel to others. However, we cannot get angry with everyone and everything we encounter. As a result, we must learn to express our anger appropriately.[4]
There are three main approaches to expressing anger -- expression, suppression, and calming. Expression involves conveying your feelings in an assertive, but not aggressive, manner. This is the best way to handle your anger. However, you must make sure that you are respectful of others and are not being overly demanding or pushy, as this will likely only produce aggression in return.
Anger can also be repressed and redirected. Essentially, you want to stop thinking about the source of your anger and focus on something else that can be approached constructively. However, you must be careful when repressing angry feelings. Repressing anger with no constructive outlet can be dangerous and damaging, both physically and mentally. On the other hand, the old idea that you should simply "vent" or "let it all out" is discouraged by conflict experts, who claim that doing so is actually counterproductive, "an exercise in rehearsing the very attributions that arouse anger in the first place."[5]
Finally, one can respond to anger by focusing on calming down -- controlling your external and internal responses (heart rate, blood pressure, etc.) to anger. Take deep breaths and relax. Several of these techniques are covered later in this article.
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The same issues that can arouse anger in individuals can also arouse anger in large groups. This concept of social rage, or social anger, is an important one for understanding conflict. Social rage is similar to personal rage, but it is generated by social issues and expressed by social groups. Examples of social rage are abundant: anger at immigrants over unemployment, hate crimes, homophobia, etc. Many of the factors at play in personal rage are also important in social rage, including humiliation and a sense of violation of expectations.
Anger can serve very positive functions when expressed properly. Studies continue to show that anger can have beneficial effects on individuals' health, their relationships and their work. Socially, very positive changes can come from anger -- for instance, the civil rights movement of the 1960s or the women's suffrage movement in the early 20 th century. On an individual level, scientists have shown angry episodes actually strengthen personal relationships more than half of the time.
Social scientists agree that anger can be beneficial when it is expressed constructively. One way to ensure this is through the use of feedback loops. Constructive anger expression involves both parties, not just the angry person. Ideally, the angry person expresses his or her anger and the target has a chance to respond. Oftentimes, simple expression helps to ease the situation, particularly if the anger is justified. Remember that this is not simply an opportunity for someone to "vent." It must be approached with the attitude of solving a problem.
As discussed, anger is not necessarily bad. Anger becomes problematic when it is expressed in improper or damaging ways. However, there are many things that can be done to help promote the constructive use of angry feelings.
The first step in dealing with anger is to become aware of it. Learn how anger affects you, how you deal with it, and what triggers it in you. There are many ways to handle anger once you learn to recognize it and catch it early on. The American Psychological Association suggests the following:[7]
Relaxation -- As simple as it sounds, basic relaxation exercises can be powerful tools in overcoming one's anger. Among these simple techniques are deep breathing; slowly repeating a relaxing phrase, such as "relax" or "take it easy"; using peaceful imagery to imagine a relaxing situation; and relaxing exercise, like yoga or tai-chi.
Cognitive Restructuring -- Cognitive restructuring is basically changing the way you think about things. This involves thinking more positively about a situation; avoiding terms like "always" and "never," which can be used to justify your anger; using logic on yourself to prevent irrational behavior; and learning to change your approach -- requesting rather than demanding, for example.
Problem Solving -- Not all anger is inappropriate. When there is a very real root to your anger, approaching the situation from the perspective of a problem solver can help to diffuse your strong feelings. Make a plan for how you can fix the situation and approach it with good intentions.
Better Communication -- Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and overreact. By slowing down and thinking about what you say, this problem can be avoided. Also, make sure you understand what other people are saying before responding to them. Listen to the reasons for others' anger and try not to be overly critical. Listening is as important to communication as speaking is.
Using Humor -- By refusing to take yourself too seriously, you can defuse your anger. Try using humorous imagery to lighten your mood or to make fun of yourself. However, you should avoid using sarcastic and harsh humor, which is simply another expression of anger. You should also avoid simply "laughing off" your problems, which ignores the issue at hand. Instead use humor to approach the problem more constructively.
Change Your Environment -- Oftentimes our environment contributes to our anger by causing irritation and fury. Make a point to take a break. Schedule personal time. When stress becomes too intense, simply get away for 15 minutes to regroup and refresh.
As with fear, political leaders can use anger as a tool to gain political support. Leaders can either aggravate or alleviate anger in large groups of people. As a result, leaders must recognize the consequences of their actions and aim to use tools to lessen anger and be very leery of playing off of the anger of their constituents for political gain (see fear essay).
Mediators and third parties can also play a role in alleviating anger. The most important way in which third parties can assist those dealing with anger is through education. Counselors can teach individuals how to locate the source of their anger, and then overcome it. However, it is important that these counselors understand the sources of anger themselves.
Third parties can also help individuals (and particularly children) cope with angry feelings by creating a safe environment, by modeling appropriate behavior, and by encouraging others to talk about their anger in a constructive manner. Mediators working with adults can use empathic listening with each party separately to try to help them deal with their anger and rephrase or reframe their issues and concerns in a constructive way when they are together with the other party. In addition, all of the steps discussed above ("what individuals can do") can be encouraged and facilitated by third parties.
[1] Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You ( http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html )
[2] Anatomy of Anger, by Oliver Ross ( http://www.mediate.com/articles/oliverR.cfm )
[3] Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You.
[5] Allred, Keith G. Anger and Retaliation in Conflict: The Role of Attribution
[6] Berry, Bonnie. Social Rage: Emotional and Cultural Conflict (New York: Garland Publishing, 1999), 8.
[7] Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You.
Use the following to cite this article: Barker, Phil. "Anger." Beyond Intractability . Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: September 2003 < http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/anger >.
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This research introduces the dataset that we created to test voice emotional recognition models with Vietnamese data. The data set is the result of research, testing, and filtering 250 emotional segments from movie, movie series and live show divided equally for 5 basic emotional states of humans: “anger, happiness, sadness, neutral and anxiety”, VNEMOS contains approximately 30 minutes long. This dataset brings a balanced and diverse emotional set to study emotional recognition issues related to understanding human mood and emotions. Through evaluation Our dataset achieved a 89\% accuracy, showcasing the adeptness at capturing the essence of positive emotions and robust learning capabilities in real-world scenarios. By clarifying these nuances. Our research will contribute much to future work on emotion recognition and signal processing in Vietnamese and data using human psychological science. Detailed information of the dataset is in the following link: “bit.ly/VNEMOS”.
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Anger, when managed mindfully, can be transformed into a tool for growth..
Posted September 8, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
One client remarked, "My father's anger is responsible for my trauma ." Another shared, "I was never allowed to show my anger." Yet another confessed, "I've already hurt so many people with my anger." These are just a few examples of the many statements I hear as I work with clients to help them express and manage their anger in a healthy way. It is often an uphill battle, as we must first address their anxiety about feeling anger before we can begin to face the anger itself.
Anger is something we’ve all encountered—whether in movies, global conflicts, or within ourselves or personal relationships. It can be unsettling, anxiety-inducing, and often threatening. Yet, like all emotions, anger serves an important purpose: It signals unmet needs or perceived injustices, motivating us to overcome obstacles and protect ourselves.
In my work with clients, I often emphasize that anger isn't inherently bad; it's a natural, necessary, and intelligent emotion , as Tara Brach puts it. Anger typically stems from feelings of being wronged, but the crucial point is understanding that it’s not the emotion itself that is harmful; it’s how we choose to manage and respond to it. If left unchecked, anger can overwhelm us, shaping our identity in damaging ways and hurting both ourselves and others. On the flip side, anger can be a powerful motivator, pushing us to set boundaries , address injustices, and communicate more effectively. When channeled constructively, it becomes a catalyst for meaningful change.
I had a client who identified as a people pleaser. She described a relationship with a selfish relative, in which she had taken on the role of constantly caring for them—even though this person was fully capable of taking care of themselves. My client never communicated her own needs and consistently prioritized the relative's well-being over her own. Over time, this dynamic naturally bred resentment, but she wouldn’t allow herself to fully acknowledge it.
She had unconsciously developed the habit of putting others’ needs first as a way to demonstrate her worth and earn love. In previous sessions, it was clear that my client felt anger but didn’t allow herself to fully experience it. Instead, she defensively buried her feelings, leaving her feeling taken advantage of and emotionally drained. Deep down, she believed that tapping into her anger would jeopardize her relationships. After all, who would she be if she stopped pleasing others? This fear kept her trapped in a cycle of over-giving and self- denial , terrified that expressing her needs might lead to rejection.
During a recent trip, the imbalance in their relationship became even more obvious—one person was always taking, while the other was endlessly giving. Tensions escalated, bringing the issue to the surface. Recognizing the pattern, the client confronted the issue directly. As this client worked through her anger, she began to realize that her emotions were not inherently destructive. Rather, they were a signal that something needed to change. By learning to acknowledge and accept her anger, she was able to create healthier boundaries in her relationships. She discovered that expressing her anger did not mean being harsh or hostile but, instead, allowed her to advocate for herself in a way that was both firm and compassionate. Her anger became a source of motivation , driving her to assert her needs and take action.
This experience is not unique to my client. Many people, especially those who have been conditioned to suppress their emotions, find it difficult to embrace anger as a tool for personal empowerment. They fear it will alienate others or lead to conflict, not realizing that unexpressed anger often manifests in unhealthy ways—be it through passive aggression , resentment, self-sabotage , depression , or anxiety.
Many people, however, tend to envision their anger as inherently aggressive and fear the consequences of expressing it. As a result, they often avoid it. I’ve also encountered individuals whose anger feels overwhelming and frightening because of the level of rage they carry, leading them to feel the need to protect themselves and others. The challenge lies in guiding them to face their anger without internalizing it or externalizing it.
The key to harnessing anger lies in cultivating a mindful relationship with it. We must learn to sit with our anger, understand its root causes, and use it as a source of clarity and strength. Anger can be a powerful force for setting boundaries, motivating change, and pushing us to seek justice, but only when we manage it intentionally. By reframing our relationship with anger, we can move from a reactive state to one of thoughtful, constructive action.
Ultimately, the goal is not to eliminate anger but to transform it. When we learn to manage our anger with awareness and skill, it can become a catalyst for deeper self-awareness, healthier relationships, and a more balanced life. In this way, anger, rather than being something to fear, becomes a guidepost—a way of pointing us toward our unmet needs and values. As we learn to manage it, we create space for healing, growth, and authentic connection.
Brach, T. (2017). Anger: Responding Not Reacting [Audio Recording]. Retrieved from https://www.tarabrach.com/anger-responding-not-reacting/
Anita Owusu, MSW, RSW , is a registered social worker and psychotherapist based in Toronto.
It’s increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.
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Key points. An estimated 90 percent of aggressive incidents are preceded by anger. Anger is largely perceived as a secondary emotion. Anger shows up when a person feels the need to defend themselves.
By Phil Barker September 2003 What Is Anger? Everyone has been angry and knows what anger is. Anger can vary widely (from mild irritation to intense fury) and can be sparked by a variety of things (specific people, events, memories, or personal problems). Anger is a natural and potentially productive emotion. However, anger can get out of control and become destructive and problematic.[1] So ...
This research introduces the dataset that we created to test voice emotional recognition models with Vietnamese data. The data set is the result of research, testing, and filtering 250 emotional segments from movie, movie series and live show divided equally for 5 basic emotional states of humans: "anger, happiness, sadness, neutral and anxiety", VNEMOS contains approximately 30 minutes long.
In my work with clients, I often emphasize that anger isn't inherently bad—it's a natural, necessary, and intelligent emotion, as Tara Brach puts it.Anger typically stems from feelings of being ...