how to write an empathetic essay

Empathy: How to Show Empathy in Writing

by Ruthanne Reid | 34 comments

Stories create empathy. Stories bring hope. Stories change history. Yes, even yours—especially when you know how to show empathy in writing.

While there are many serious examples of stories affecting human rights and other causes, I'm going to start my point with something simpler.

The Little Red Lighthouse

Not far from where I live is a little red lighthouse. Here it is:

It's cute, right? It's just a lighthouse. There's nothing special about it—except that the George Washington Bridge was built almost on top of it not long after it was completed, rendering it redundant.

For completely logical reasons, the Coast Guard decommissioned it and made plans to sell it or tear it down.

Ah, but that's not the end of the story!

In 1942, an author named Hildegarde H. Swift wrote an adorable children's book called  The Little Red Lighthouse and the Great Gray Bridge   that made the lighthouse into a character. This lighthouse did its job with joy, leading ships to safety in the worst of fogs. But then *gasp* the bridge was built overhead with enormous lights, and the lighthouse lost its purpose.

It struggled with feeling useless and unwanted, until one day, an enormous storm came, and the boats could not see the lights on the bridge. The little red lighthouse rediscovered its purpose as it once again led people safely through the storm, and came to the realization that though it was small, it still had a place in this world.

It's a great story, and it changed that lighthouse's fate. When the Coast Guard tried to auction it off, the locals who'd grown up reading that book made such an outcry that instead of being sold, the little red lighthouse was added to the National Register of Historic Places.

( This is all true .)

I don't think Ms. Swift intended that outcome when she wrote the story, but it still had that effect because it was relatable. Behold the power of empathy!

The Power of Empathy

When you write, you're writing from your barrel of experiences . Whenever you go through something, it ends up in that barrel—all your joy and pain, your fears and questions, your successes and your victories.

(This is actually one of the reasons older writers are sometimes better writers. It has nothing to do with talent. There's just more in the barrel to draw from.)

Your readers can relate to what you pull from your barrel because they have barrels of their own. Everyone does. Your readers can relate because they're human, too (presumably).

Quick demonstration. Ever wondered why anime, of all things, is so popular? Simple: even though Japan's culture is distinct from others around the world, the very  human experiences of the characters speak to those who watch. For example:

Those expressions and feelings work across cultures because we're all human. We can relate to the experiences, even if we don't know the details. I, for one, have never dealt with fifty-foot robots, but I can  relate to the sorrow of a friend's passing.

So how do you communicate this  without  a visual medium? Well . . . you have to pay attention.

How to Show Empathy: Your Barrel of Experience

Wondering how to show empathy in writing? Pro tip: Typing “He was so sad” does not work.

You have to draw from your barrel of experience.

• What physical sensations did you experience when you were sad/angry/bored/happy?
• What kind of thoughts did you have? Uncharitable? Overly gracious? Dismissive?
• How did your view of the people and world around you change as your emotions shifted?

When I'm sad, I feel alone, which usually leads to fear. When I'm angry, I often feel robbed, like justice isn't being done by those around me. When I'm bored, my mind wanders, landing on anything but what I'm supposed to be working on. When I'm happy, I want that moment to last forever, and smaller problems like chronic pain seem to shrink.

Do you get the picture? If your chest hurts when you're grieving,  then your character's chest may hurt.

If you have trouble breathing when you're anxious, then maybe your character has trouble breathing when they're anxious.

When you're angry, do you have trouble controlling what comes out of your mouth? Your character may say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

We all know what it is to be angry and quiet or angry and loud;  any emotion and its outward expression is something we all know well.

So do your readers.

Aim For the Experience, Not the Details

Let's say you're writing a bad guy. A really, really bad guy who robs and hurts people. You have (hopefully) had no experience with that, but you do know what he felt: greed, anger, a sense of entitlement, fear of being caught, a certainty that he had the right to do this thing. You can put those into the story to make him slightly more relatable.

You're a woman writing a male character? No problem. Men are people, too (shocking, I know), and experience the emotions you do, even if they show them differently: they can be unsure or overly certain, fearful or full of themselves, struggling with failure or relaxing in victory.

You're writing an alien creature? Awesome! You can still use your experience to establish this character, either by giving it relatable emotions or by drawing the contrast between them. For example, maybe the alien is standing over a freshly squished astronaut and  not feeling victory,  not  feeling the fear of being caught, but instead nothing at all—which, by contrast, makes the alien more frightening to the reader.

Every human feels these things. They know the stomach-churning feeling that comes right before doing something that requires courage—whether that's speaking in front of a class or leaping out of a helicopter to fight in a war.

The Magic of Your Barrel

You want your story relatable? Share what's in your barrel.

It doesn't matter if you're writing on earth or in space, in ancient times or modern. Your readers don't have to have the same  details to have the same  experience , and as long as your characters' reactions echo your human readers' reactions, they will relate to your story.

Have you read something you could relate to recently? Do you have other tips for how to show empathy in writing? Let us know in the comments .

It's time to practice writing relatable stories. Pick one scene from your WIP with some kind of emotional content, and take  fifteen minutes  to expand it with relatable emotional experiences.

Or, think of an emotional experience you had recently, and take  fifteen minutes  to write about what that felt like. What physical sensations did you experience? What thoughts did you have?

When you're done, share your writing in the comments . Be sure to leave feedback for your fellow writers, too!

Ruthanne Reid

Best-Selling author Ruthanne Reid has led a convention panel on world-building, taught courses on plot and character development, and was keynote speaker for The Write Practice 2021 Spring Retreat.

Author of two series with five books and fifty short stories, Ruthanne has lived in her head since childhood, when she wrote her first story about a pony princess and a genocidal snake-kingdom, using up her mom’s red typewriter ribbon.

When she isn’t reading, writing, or reading about writing, Ruthanne enjoys old cartoons with her husband and two cats, and dreams of living on an island beach far, far away.

P.S. Red is still her favorite color.

34 Comments

So basically it explains that when am writing, I have to include the emotional feelings of what one feels.

There has to be something for the reader to relate to. You can show that by how your character responds to things, the choices they make, that sort of thing.

Empathy is about to understand and even share the feelings and emotions of someone else. While sympathy is the ability to feel for someone,

That’s correct, Danny! And empathy is the best thing for readers to have for your characters.

Showing emotion is great as long as you don’t overdo it. Be careful to not to tell them your main character is sad but show them, his quivering lips, the teardrops in his eyes.

Evil characters should always have a very good background, your story will stand or fall with the antagonist. If you have a bad guy that wants to kill off all the humans he should better have a reason for it.

Absolutely! Show, not tell, is generally the rule around here. 🙂

I agree 110%; I sometimes wonder how books get published when the authors write, “he was furious,” “fear crouched in her eyes,” etc on almost every page.

What a good exercise! Thank you, Ruthanne.

She pulled into a parking space at the local grocery store, turned off the engine, and forced herself to take a deep, slow breath. Head down, avoiding the possibility of eye contact, reluctance slowing her step, she entered the store and took a cart – the small size, never the large one, even after all these years. She had been desperately poor, struggled to feed her children on never enough until even the thought of shopping made her ill. Now, she was wealthy enough to purchase anything here she wanted, yet the symptoms continued. She forced herself to stand up straight, to practice what she’d been taught, to confront her fear. She surveyed the wealth of fresh fruits and vegetables displayed. Aloud, she said, “Thank you, Lord.” It was supposed to help. But still, the memory of poverty choked her breath, her vision narrowed and, helpless, she wept.

Hi Cathy. I’m trying too and I did relate to your character. Tanks

This was short but powerful. You really got the point across that even though she’s wealthy, being poor really affected her and she’s still grieving from it. Good job!

“You’re a woman writing a male character? No problem. Men are people, too (shocking, I know),” Ha ha ha! I loved it! Very funny! Good stuff by the way.

It was really funny.

I can believe a woman’s insight into a male character’s feelings about “God, Hunger, Thought, or Battle” because they seem to be similar to ours. I’m less convinced that we can ever get inside the alien thought process men report, of just looking at what looks like another human being and instantly wanting to fight or rut, sometimes even before making sure that it *is* another human being.

(One reason to use a cat picture: people have to react to what I’m saying, not the way I look.)

What a barrelful I am carrying – most of it repressed but I’ll give the exercise a try.

She was only seven but her mother had trusted her to take her baby brother for a walk in his high pram. She feels so proud and important. Walking along the village street, pushing the pram she is delighted at all the adults who stop to look at the baby and tell her how good she is being to look after him so well. This makes her feel really tall and special – no longer a youngster aged only seven. Eventually she realises reluctantly that she must return home and so turns the pram around and heads back. Close to home she passes a neighbour’s house and as she struggles to push the pram across the gravel chips, she begins to feel stressed. Why is itso difficult to push the pram? Can she manage it? She tries hard, and pushes and pushes. She is starting to sweat with the effort. Then she panics as the pram suddenly up-ends. She flees the scene in terror. She’s thinking she may have killed her little brother as she doesn’t hear him cry. She runs and hides away from the scene of her crime. Her thoughts are in turmoil. What can she do? What will her parents do? She feels so guilty. She really didn’ mean to do it. The neighbour has seen from her kitchen window what has happened. She comes out, calmly rights the pram, checks that the harness securing the baby is in place and pushes the pram the small distance required back to its own home. Our seven year old has witnessed this from her hiding place, and begins to realise with relief, that all is possibly well, so she ventures home in trepidation. How relieved and delighted she is when she finds her mother feeding the baby as normal. Her precious little brother is alive and well. No questions asked. No recriminations. What a feeling of relief that normality has returned to her life.

This makes her feel really tall and special

I really like this line. It made me smile and understand her completely. Poor child, thinking she may have killed her baby brother, and then everything is well again. These certainly were different times, when a 7 year old could take a baby out alone, yes?

Nicely done.

Thanks Cathy – 60 odd years ago!! Times are certainly different now!

Aww poor girl. I felt the panic she had when she thought she’d killed her brother. Great work, Evelyn!

709 thank you – it’s so encouraging to get responses to my efforts.

I absolutely loved this! I felt as though you did a brilliant job at capturing the pure innocence of the young girl and I felt just as worried as she did as I read through. Wonderful work!

Thank you, Sarah. It’s a true story and I can smile about now, but not then.

Beginning of a scene from my WIP that represents a turning point in the relationship of the main characters. Asterisks denote italics. Reviews are always appreciated! (Note: both characters are women)

*Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.*

“Ungh?” I squinted into the bright light worming through the sleep sand in my eyelashes. My cellphone was ringing. I dragged it off the nightstand and answered. “Yeah?”

For a moment, silence. Then a familiar husky voice said, “Dr. MacBride?”

“Detective Cameron? What time is it?”

“Near three in the morning I believe.”

“What happened? Is someone dead?”

“No, nothing like that, I – I couldn’t sleep and I wondered if maybe you might be awake.”

Oh. That was – that was nice. Really nice, actually.

Detective Cameron must’ve interpreted my silence differently. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll see you at the station tomorr-”

“No, it’s fine! Really. Do you want to come to my place?”

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely.” I gave her my address and we hung up. *How long will it take her to get here? Can’t be more than ten minutes. Shit.* I turned on the lamp and caught sight of my reflection in the window. *Oh God, my hair!*

I vaulted out of bed, shucking off my t-shirt and sweatpants. *What do I wear?* This would be the first time she would see me out of my work clothes. I pulled open all the drawers in the dresser. *Jeans, yes, jeans are good.* I wriggled into a pair of dark wash skinnies and looked wildly around for a shirt. My first instinct was to grab a comfortable tee, but I decided against it. To the effortlessly elegant detective I would probably look a slug. Didn’t want to seem like I was trying too hard though. I found a light oatmeal sweater – suitable.

I rushed to the bathroom to tug a comb through my hair. Not perfect, but it would have to do. I switched off the lights there and in the bedroom and let myself into the living room.

Oh no. Boxes.

The next several minutes were a blur of madly stacking boxes and shoving them into meager hiding places – next to the couch, under the coffee table. There was nowhere in that apartment where you could cover something completely. My frantic tidying was interrupted by a distant knock. Crap.

I rushed downstairs; I straightened my sweater, took a steadying breath, and opened the door.

I really enjoyed reading this! I felt as though I could really understand how stressed you character was when they were frantically trying to prepare for their visitor. I felt quite stressed myself just reading it! Keep up the good work!

Okay, so I’ve taken a scene from my WIP (set in 1806 England). It is the false black moment. Here goes… Hopefully, people will empathise with Scar and his predicament!

Scar paced the floor behind his desk. This time he would do it properly. On one knee if necessary. And his wretched heart on his sleeve if that was what it would take.

His heart stumbled, then moved into a slow, heavy beat not unlike the beat of the drum marking the death march of a prisoner on his way to the gallows. A groan rumbled from his throat and tiny beads of moisture prickled his hairline and turned his hands clammy. His mouth dried and his stomach churned and his legs trembled.

He halted beside his chair, closed his eyes and forced his breath to slow. Or tried to.

His gaze darted to the carriage clock. Three of the clock. Any moment now…

He smoothed his hands over his hair, smoothed the fall of his tailcoat, smoothed the front of his jacket. What if she still says no?

The soft snick of the door latch split the silence like a pistol shot. And there she stood, a living portrait framed in the doorway. Something flashed in her eyes—he could not discern what, for it was gone in an instant, her expression shuttered.

Her lips shaped a smile. The smile did not encourage conversation. His churning guts roiled. He forced his gaze to the footman behind her. “You may close the door.”

“It would be best if the door remained open,” she said. Veiled but clear, it was a reprimand and the footman disappeared. She took two paces into the study. Stopped. “Your summons was most fortuitous, for I must speak with you.” Her chin came up. “Last night I accepted the Earl of Mettleford’s offer of marriage.”

His legs buckled and his hand shot out, seized the back of his chair. His feet managed the small box step around the chair before his legs gave out. He dropped into his chair, his lungs far too big for his chest and his head filled with such a whooshing sound, he heard not a word she spoke. Her lips shaped and delivered words that didn’t reach him.

He had to be having a nightmare…

Lips moving all the while, she approached his desk, slapped some documents before him, snatched up his quill and thrust it at him. He stared at the quill, then looked at her.

Impatience flashed in her gaze. “Come on. Sign it.”

He looked at the document. A marriage agreement. The rest of the text was a blur, one massive miserable murky mass of blurry grey-black stripes streaking the page. How could they prepare a marriage agreement so fast? “How—”

“Our solicitors collaborated all morning. Fitzwilliam’s and my family’s,” she said. “Note that Mr. Scribbard has also signed it.”

Old fool. Scar rubbed his eyes. Rubbed his palms against his thighs. Unearthed from his memory the litany of objections she’d voiced each time she’d refused him. “What of your determination to never wed?”

She dismissed the question with a hitch of her shoulder. “I have long held Fitzwilliam in great affection, so take this blasted quill, dip it in that handsome inkwell, and sign the blasted marriage agreement!”

“Affection? Do you… love him?” Say you don’t… He’s almost old enough to be your father. “Here.” She thrust the quill at him. “Take this—”

His fingers clamped around the armrests of his chair. “You cannot wed him if you do not love him.” He watched her crush and master her temper. In other circumstances her self-restraint would have been admirable.

“Do not speak to me of love.” She drew a deep breath. “I am now convinced you had the right of it,” she continued, her voice calm, her tone almost…dismissive. “Love is mere caprice and not a sound basis for an agreeable marriage.” Tapping the tip of the feather quill against her cheek, her gaze flicked over him. “You were prepared to marry me, and with no love involved.”

His heart lurched into a frantic gallop as his body retreated into the backrest of his chair. He crossed his arms over his midriff. “You would do as a duchess.”

“I will do even better as a countess.” She set her jaw. “Now do your legal duty and sign, or I shall think you do not wish to be rid of me after all.”

It was far too close to the truth. Behind his ribs, an aching sensation spread and swelled and pushed against the walls of his chest. He hugged himself tighter. “Do not be misled. I would be overjoyed to see you stuffed, mounted, put in a glass case, labelled Utter Stupidity and left in the British Museum.” It sounded truculent, even to him. Nothing he could do about that.

“Then sign, blast you,” she said on a burst of temper, the quill in her outstretched hand. “I do not take orders from anyone, and certainly not a female.”

A wry smile softened the obstinate cast of her countenance. “Where is your sense of duty and responsibility to your ward?”

“But I am being responsible and doing my duty. Your father would not fault me were he alive.”

She huffed out a breath spiked with impatience. “Then where is your precious honor? You must own that marriage is more acceptable to Society than depositing me at the British Museum.”

He ignored the proffered quill. “You will lose control of your precious fortune if you marry.”

Her gaze shifted, eyes narrowing. “That inkwell looks rather heavy, and I have perfect aim.”

“And quite apart from losing your fortune, I am of the opinion that you need someone strong, not someone who will accommodate your every whim.”

“Someone like you?” A tiny snort of derision slipped past her lips. “That I can do without thank you.”

Somewhere inside, he flinched.

“You were right,” she said. “I am of marriageable age and to secure my future I must marry. Once I accepted that, I did as you wished and chose a husband.”

Did she hear the hiss of his indrawn breath? There was nothing in her countenance to suggest she had.

She leaned over his desk. “So sign, or I will run you through with this blasted quill.”

Her glower drilled into him, but he cared not. Logic decreed the Earl of Mettleford a suitable match for an earl’s daughter, but God’s teeth, handing her into Mettleford’s keeping was like death by amputation.

He looked at the quill. Her hand. Both were rock steady.

She had made her choice….

And left him no choice.

Just honor.

He took the quill, gripped it with numb fingers, signed his name, then shot the quill into the standish.

She scooped up the document, and hesitated, not even a flicker of triumph in her unsmiling gaze. Hope flared, hot and fierce and cold and fragile, then vanished as she left without another word.

Not even a polite ‘thank you’.

Cavernous silence settled over his study. Empty. Endless.

And bloody honor tasted bitter.

She reached to his calloused hand, gently opened his palm, brought it up to her lips and softly left a kiss. As she did this, He could only look down, he couldn’t dare catch her eye. A small eruption of their past might waterfall from his eyes if he did. He couldn’t move, could hardly think, he felt like the cracked black and white checkered floor would fissuring and was slipping down. She cupped his hand to fist, as if the kiss was to be kept, as if it was something real. He felt her big brown eyes upon his brow, as he continued to stare at the floor. She blew a sigh and took her hands away from his fist leaving it closed tight, palm up frozen. He watched her black boot twist on its toe and slowly out of his vision as he kept on the floor. He then looked at this fist and opened it face up and it started to blur as a big watered tear danced on his eye before it fell to the floor.

The following is from the first draft of my current WIP. My protagonist wants to get… intimate… with her husband for the first time since his accident. Leni, my protagonist, has spread Mardi-Gras rose petals all over the bedroom. WARNING: Sexual themes abound as this is a love scene.

She tickled him, on the sides of his torso, his muscles jiggled and contorted, nothing seemingly out of place. With a mild jerk she tilted her hips, a cascade of petals falling from her, exposing herself, offering herself to him.

He hardened further, they rolled into each other and he stopped. He stopped laughing, he stopped smiling, he stopped thrusting. A wave of vagueness, of absence, swept his face, he put his hands on her back. He cradled and rubbed her lower spine and presently his Schwanze recreated the piton event from Sukapak, Alaska.

This time, Leni could not save him from his slip. Nor could she save herself from hers. She held on as long and as hard as she could, but it was of no use. As their summit cracked and crumbled and faded back into fondness, yesterday and regret; as Paul peered into her eyes, confused, astonished, sorrowed and sorry, two other facts became obvious.

That her man was not home. Not yet. That he was not home, not coming inside, not yet safe.

And that each of them, for the first time in their lives, was alone.

Alone. Even before each other, they were each in their own destitution of hope.

Wow, I really felt that. That phrase, ‘destitution of hope’, hits hard.

Thank you! I thought it was very much an act of telling, but one that works.

She sat with a smile on her face. Her friends were usually talking about things she wasn’t interested in. They always talked about latest shows and celebrities. She tried once catching up with what they talked about, but she gave up. She never liked the shows or celebrities they liked. This time though, her friends weren’t talking about a show. Instead, they were talking about an outing they wanted to have together. “Hey, are you coming today, Lily?” One of her friends asked the other. Lily played with her hair before answering, “I don’t think so. I just want to stay home and sleep today.” “Come on! You have to come! it would be amazing, I promise.” Her friend answered. They went back and forth arguing of whether she should go or not. Melody watched them quietly and waited for any of them to ask her. She’s always been listening to them talking about the multiple times they hung out together. Her genuine smile wasn’t so genuine as she remembered that she never was invited to hang out with them. “What are they arguing about?” Melody turned to Nathan who just joined the little group with a confused face. “They’re trying to convince Lily to join them today,” she answered quietly. Melody turned back to her friends once Nathan joined in on the conversation. She waited and waited and waited until the bell rang and lunch was over. They never turned to her; they never asked her if she’ll join them, and she never asked if she could. She interacted normally with her friends for the rest of the day, but she felt hurt and rejected. **** ‘I’m finally home,’ Melody thought to herself as she plopped onto the bed. ‘Weekend’s started and I can finally relax’. She turned over onto her stomach and grabbed the book she was currently reading from the nightstand. She got carried away with the story. She was so engrossed by the events when a ping sounded from her phone. She marked where she topped and closed the book. Opening her phone, she found a new post from one of her friends. She debated in her mind whether she should open it or not; at the end, she decided to see it. The smile she had on her face slowly fell as she saw a video and another along with pictures of her group of friends out and enjoying their time. She felt happy that they were enjoying their time, but at the same time, she felt left out. ‘So many times,’ she thought to herself, ‘so many times I’ve watched them make plans together and I’ve seen their posts with one another and never once was I invited. Never once was I in a picture with them.’ With those thoughts running in her mind and that suffocating feeling intensifying, she hugged a pillow tightly and cried out. She cried and till there were no more tears. She cried until she fell asleep.

Thanks for this, Ruthanne. I love your opener … great description of character, using the lovely story of the red lighthouse!

I am currently writing a story called Mono no Aware. As of late I have been struggling to write it. I was just wondering, how can I get people emotionally invested in the characters and the story? https://thequiddity.wixsite.com/blog Please feel free to read Mono no Aware and my other writings on my blog.

The man stood beside her in a suit and tie. “Just answer the questions, little girl. So we can help you.”

They didn’t want to help her. They wanted to help themselves. Her voice quivering, she said, “I’ve told you all I know.” All she knew she could trust them with, anyway.

“We’ve asked nicely. We’ve provided you protection. Now we need something from you.”

They’d never asked. And Shadow had protected her, not these strangers in suits. Her scalp burned and fire lit in her stomach. She wanted to scream. Wanted to let the tears roll down her face while she shrieked at them that the only thing they’d done was help the man who’d hurt her, Doctor Harrison. But she held back the scream and she blinked to pull back the tears.

Folding her arms tight, she stared straight ahead at the wall. “I…want…Shadow.” Then she pressed her lips together.

A few moments of silence passed.

Then the man slammed his hands on the tabletop and she flinched at the loud smack of his palms against the metal. “Doctor Harrison tortured you,” he shouted. “You should want to tell us every single detail so we can find him and stop him from–”

“No,” she yelled back as she snapped her head in his direction and glared into his face. A pounding throb thumped in her head. “You people want to find him so you can make a deal with him.” Her hands fisted. “Not so you can stop him from hurting someone else!”

The back of his hand slapped her cheek like an iron skillet.

She toppled from her chair, saliva and blood welling in her mouth, and caught herself before her head could crack against the tile floor.

“You will cooperate, young lady,” the man said in a low voice.

She lifted her head and glared at him through her blur of tears. Her cheek stung, and when she touched it, it was already swollen. “This is how you fix problems?” Her voice broke and sobs gathered under her ribcage. “This is how you protect people?”

I’d appreciate any comments/feedback. Thank you!

I loved the beginning mixture of emotion and thoughts when the brave young girl was fighting to hold back her scream and “blinked to pull back the tears.” You engaged me with a great balance of dialogue, emotion, thoughts and actions. I wanted to know what happened next.

I wrote a love story in 84-85 and while it was a good story ( in my opinion) and one I read over and over because I wanted that kind of love one day. But there was a scene where the guy died and while I know how one feels when you lose someone the feeling was different from losing a say grandmother or dad than losing a husband/ boyfriend/ significant other. You have more invested in that kind of love well… About two years ago I lost my husband and best friend of 13 yrs. I journaled that loss and the feelings I was going through. The actions I took and what I felt when it happened as well as the days that followed…. While I haven’t rewritten the love story., I have those feelings to now draw on when I do write it again.

( Currently editing nano right now- and the wounds of that loss are still very fresh even after 2 years)

Wow, there’s a lot of good writers here! So happy to see that!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

• Empathy: How to Show Empathy in Writing – Art of Conversation - […] “ The details that make us real people go into the imaginary people we create. Tweet this Tweet […]
• How to Show Empathy and Create Relatable Characters – ATK Speakers and Publishing Firm - […] Read more here: https://thewritepractice.com/empathy-in-writing/?hvid=1m8NnK […]
• Writing Links Round Up 1/22-1/27 – B. Shaun Smith - […] How to Show Empathy and Create Relatable Characters […]

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Essays About Empathy: Top 5 Examples Plus Prompts

If you’re writing essays about empathy , check out our essay examples and prompts to get started. 

Empathy is the ability to understand and share other people’s emotions. It is the very notion which To Kill a Mockingbird character Atticus Finch was driving at when he advised his daughter Scout to “climb inside [other people’s] skin and walk around in it.” 

Being able to feel the joy and sorrow of others and see the world from their perspective are extraordinary human capabilities that shape our social landscape. But beyond its effect on personal and professional relationships, empathy motivates kind actions that can trickle positive change across society . 

If you are writing an article about empathy, here are five insightful essay examples to inspire you: 

1. Do Art and Literature Cultivate Empathy? by Nick Haslam

2. empathy: overrated by spencer kornhaber, 3. in our pandemic era, why we must teach our children compassion by rebecca roland, 4. why empathy is a must-have business strategy by belinda parmar, 5. the evolution of empathy by frans de waal, 1. teaching empathy in the classroom., 2. how can companies nurture empathy in the workplace, 3. how can we develop empathy, 4. how do you know if someone is empathetic, 5. does empathy spark helpful behavior , 6. empathy vs. sympathy., 7. empathy as a winning strategy in sports. , 8. is there a decline in human empathy, 9. is digital media affecting human empathy, 10. your personal story of empathy..

“Exposure to literature and the sorts of movies that do not involve car chases might nurture our capacity to get inside the skins of other people. Alternatively, people who already have well-developed empathic abilities might simply find the arts more engaging…”

Haslam, a psychology professor, laid down several studies to present his thoughts and analysis on the connection between empathy and art. While one study has shown that literary fiction can help develop empathy, there’s still lacking evidence to show that more exposure to art and literature can help one be more empathetic. You can also check out these essays about character .

“Empathy doesn’t even necessarily make day-to-day life more pleasant, they contend, citing research that shows a person’s empathy level has little or no correlation with kindness or giving to charity.”

This article takes off from a talk of psychology experts on a crusade against empathy. The experts argue that empathy could be “innumerate, parochial, bigoted” as it zooms one to focus on an individual’s emotions and fail to see the larger picture. This problem with empathy can motivate aggression and wars and, as such, must be replaced with a much more innate trait among humans: compassion.

“Showing empathy can be especially hard for kids… Especially in times of stress and upset, they may retreat to focusing more on themselves — as do we adults.”

Roland encourages fellow parents to teach their kids empathy, especially amid the pandemic, where kindness is needed the most. She advises parents to seize everyday opportunities by ensuring “quality conversations” and reinforcing their kids to view situations through other people’s lenses. 

“Mental health, stress and burnout are now perceived as responsibilities of the organization. The failure to deploy empathy means less innovation, lower engagement and reduced loyalty, as well as diluting your diversity agenda.”

The spike in anxiety disorders and mental health illnesses brought by the COVID-19 pandemic has given organizations a more considerable responsibility: to listen to employees’ needs sincerely. Parmar underscores how crucial it is for a leader to take empathy as a fundamental business strategy and provides tips on how businesses can adjust to the new norm. 

“The evolution of empathy runs from shared emotions and intentions between individuals to a greater self/other distinction—that is, an “unblurring” of the lines between individuals.”

The author traces the evolutionary roots of empathy back to our primate heritage — ultimately stemming from the parental instinct common to mammals. Ultimately, the author encourages readers to conquer “tribal differences” and continue turning to their emotions and empathy when making moral decisions.

10 Interesting Writing prompts on Essays About Empathy

Check out below our list of exciting prompts to help you buckle down to your writing:

This essay discuss teaching empathy in the classroom. Is this an essential skill that we should learn in school? Research how schools cultivate children’s innate empathy and compassion. Then, based on these schools’ experiences, provide tips on how other schools can follow suit. 

An empathetic leader is said to help boost positive communication with employees, retain indispensable talent and create positive long-term outcomes. This is an interesting topic to research, and there are plenty of studies on this topic online with data that you can use in your essay. So, pick these best practices to promote workplace empathy and discuss their effectiveness.

Write down a list of deeds and activities people can take as their first steps to developing empathy. These activities can range from volunteering in their communities to reaching out to a friend in need simply. Then, explain how each of these acts can foster empathy and kindness. 

Based on studies, list the most common traits, preferences, and behaviour of an empathetic person. For example, one study has shown that empathetic people prefer non-violent movies. Expound on this list with the support of existing studies. You can support or challenge these findings in this essay for a compelling argumentative essay. Make sure to conduct your research and cite all the sources used. 

Empathy is a buzzword closely associated with being kind and helpful. However, many experts in recent years have been opining that it takes more than empathy to propel an act of kindness and that misplaced empathy can even lead to apathy. Gather what psychologists and emotional experts have been saying on this debate and input your analysis. 

Empathy and sympathy have been used synonymously, even as these words differ in meaning. Enlighten your readers on the differences and provide situations that clearly show the contrast between empathy and sympathy. You may also add your take on which trait is better to cultivate.

Empathy has been deemed vital in building cooperation. A member who empathizes with the team can be better in tune with the team’s goals, cooperate effectively and help drive success. You may research how athletic teams foster a culture of empathy beyond the sports fields. Write about how coaches are integrating empathy into their coaching strategy. 

Several studies have warned that empathy has been on a downward trend over the years. Dive deep into studies that investigate this decline. Summarize each and find common points. Then, cite the significant causes and recommendations in this study. You can also provide insights on whether this should cause alarm and how societies should address the problem. 

There is a broad sentiment that social media has been driving people to live in a bubble and be less empathetic — more narcissistic. However, some point out that intensifying competition and increasing economic pressures are more to blame for reducing our empathetic feelings. Research and write about what experts have to say and provide a personal touch by adding your experience. 

Acts of kindness abound every day. But sometimes, we fail to capture or take them for granted. Write about your unforgettable encounters with empathetic people. Then, create a storytelling essay to convey your personal view on empathy. This activity can help you appreciate better the little good things in life. 

Check out our general resource of essay writing topics and stimulate your creative mind! 

See our round-up of the best essay checkers to ensure your writing is error-free.

Learn How to Write a Perfect Empathy Essay

Are you having a hard time, finding good tips and tricks on writing an empathy essay? Of course, writing it gets easy when you have the proper guidelines. Such as the  professional research paper writers  have for you in this interesting blog post.

Writing an empathy essay is like delving into understanding emotions, seeing things from other’s perspectives, and showing care and understanding. It talks about how empathy shapes relationships, impacts society, and why it’s vital for a kinder world.

No need to fret, as this blog post is like a friendly guide for beginners that will help them understand everything about writing an empathy essay. So, without further ado, let’s get started.

Table of Contents

What is an Empathy Essay?

An empathy essay or emotions essay revolves around the exploration and analysis of empathy as a concept, trait, or practice. It’s about exploring and analyzing what empathy is all about, whether it’s a concept, a trait, or something you have to practice. You know, getting into the nitty-gritty of understanding emotions, different perspectives, and how we can relate to other people’s experiences.

The point of this essay is to show how empathy is super important in relationships, connections between people, and even in society as a whole. It’s all about showing how empathy plays a big role and why it’s so important.

Key elements in empathy writing include a clear definition and explanation of empathy, supported by relatable anecdotes or case studies to illustrate its application. It should delve into empathy’s psychological and societal implications, discussing its effects on individual well-being, relationships, and society at large. Moreover, the empathy essays require a balanced exploration of challenges and complexities related to empathy, such as cultural differences, biases, and the boundaries of empathy in various situations.

Students might find it useful to consider a  professional paper writing service  for an empathy essay due to various reasons. These services often provide access to experienced writers who specialize in crafting well-researched and structured essays. Professional writers can offer a fresh perspective, present nuanced arguments, and ensure the essay meets academic standards.

Why Empathy Essay Writing is Challenging for Some Students?

Writing an essay with empathy can pose challenges for students due to several reasons.

Complex Nature of Empathy

Understanding empathy involves navigating emotional intelligence, perspective-taking, and compassionate understanding, which can be challenging to articulate coherently.

Subjectivity and Personal Experience

Expressing subjective feelings and personal experiences while maintaining objectivity in empathic writing can be difficult for students.

Navigating Sensitivity

Addressing sensitive topics and human complexities while maintaining a respectful and empathetic tone in writing can be demanding.

Handling Diverse Perspectives

Grasping and objectively presenting diverse perspectives across different cultural and social contexts can pose a challenge.

Time Constraints and Academic Pressures

Juggling multiple assignments and deadlines might limit the time and focus students can dedicate to thoroughly researching and crafting an empathy essay.

Expert Tips on Writing a Perfect Empathy Essay

Here are some tips with corresponding examples for writing an empathy essay:

Start with a Compelling Story

Begin your essay with a narrative that illustrates empathy in action. For instance, recount a personal experience where you or someone else demonstrated empathy. For instance:

Example:  As a child, I vividly recall a moment when my grandmother’s empathetic nature became evident. Despite her own struggles, she always took time to comfort others, such as when she helped a neighbor through a difficult loss.

Define Empathy Clearly

Define empathy and its various dimensions using simple language.

Example:  Empathy goes beyond sympathy; it’s about understanding and feeling what someone else is experiencing. It involves recognizing emotions and responding with care and understanding.

Use Real-life Examples

For achieving empathy in writing, incorporate real-life instances or case studies to emphasize empathy’s impact.

Example:  Research shows how empathy in healthcare professionals led to improved patient outcomes. Doctors who showed empathy were found to have patients with higher satisfaction rates and better recovery.

Explore Perspectives

Discuss different perspectives on empathy and its challenges.

Example:  While empathy is crucial, cultural differences can sometimes pose challenges. For instance, what’s considered empathetic in one culture might differ in another, highlighting the need for cultural sensitivity.

Highlight Benefits

Explain the positive outcomes of empathy in various contexts.

Example:  In workplaces, empathy fosters a more cohesive team environment. A study by the researcher found that leaders who display empathy tend to have more engaged and motivated teams.

Acknowledge Challenges

Address the complexities or limitations of empathy.

Example:  Despite its benefits, there are challenges in maintaining boundaries in empathetic relationships. It’s important to balance being empathetic and avoiding emotional burnout.

Conclude with Impact

Wrap up by emphasizing the broader impact of empathy.

Example:  Ultimately, fostering empathy creates a ripple effect, contributing to a more compassionate and understanding society, where individuals feel seen, heard, and supported.

Steps of Writing an Empathy Essay

Here are the steps for writing an empathy essay. You’ll notice that most of the steps are the same as  writing a research paper  or any such academic task.

Understanding the Topic

Familiarize yourself with the concept of empathy and its various dimensions. Define what empathy means to you and what aspects you aim to explore in your essay.

Gather information from credible sources, including academic articles, books, and real-life examples that illustrate empathy’s role and impact. Take notes on key points and examples that you can incorporate into your essays on empathy

Create an outline that includes an introduction (with a thesis statement defining the scope of your essay), body paragraphs discussing different aspects of empathy (such as its definition, importance, challenges, and benefits), and a conclusion summarizing the main points.

Introduction

Start your essay with a compelling hook or anecdote related to empathy. Introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement outlining what you’ll discuss in the essay.

Body Paragraphs

Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of empathy supported by evidence or examples. Discuss empathy’s definition, its significance in different contexts (personal, societal, professional), challenges in practicing empathy, benefits, and potential limitations.

Use Examples

Incorporate real-life examples or case studies to illustrate your points and make them relatable to the reader.

Address Counterarguments

Acknowledge differing perspectives or potential counterarguments related to empathy and address them thoughtfully within your essay.

Summarize the main points discussed in the essay. Restate the significance of empathy and its impact, leaving the reader with a lasting impression or call to action.

Edit and Revise

Review your essay for coherence, clarity, and consistency. Check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. Ensure that your ideas flow logically and that your essay effectively communicates your thoughts on empathy.

Make any necessary revisions based on feedback or additional insights. Ensure that your essay meets the guidelines and requirements if it’s for a specific assignment. Then, finalize and submit your empathy essay.

Final Thoughts

In this blog post, we’ve tried to make writing an empathy essay easier for students. We’ve explained it step by step, using easy examples and clear explanations. The goal is to help students understand what empathy is and how to write about it in an essay.

The steps we’ve shared for writing an empathy essay are straightforward. They start with understanding the topic and doing research, then move on to outlining, writing, and polishing the essay. We’ve highlighted the importance of using personal stories, real-life examples, and organizing ideas well.

Students can benefit from our  assignment writing service  for their empathy essays. Our experienced writers can provide expert help, ensuring the essays meet academic standards and are well-written. This support saves time and helps students focus on other schoolwork while getting a top-notch empathy essay.

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September 7

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Empathy in Writing: The Ultimate Guide to Connect with Your Readers

By   Joshua Turner

September 7, 2023

Writing is a powerful tool that allows us to connect with others, share our experiences, and convey our thoughts and emotions. However, it is not always easy to express empathy through writing.

Effective communication requires the ability to empathize with others and comprehend their emotions. In this article, we will explore the role of empathy in writing and discuss techniques that can help you show compassion in your writing.

Understanding empathy is crucial for effective communication. Empathy lets us put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and understand their perspective. When we are empathetic, we can better connect with others and build stronger relationships.

In writing , empathy can help us create more engaging and relatable content that resonates with our readers. As writers, we have the power to influence and inspire others, and empathy is a vital tool in achieving this goal.

Key Takeaways

• Empathy is essential for effective communication .
• Empathy allows us to connect with others and build stronger relationships.
• Empathy is a powerful tool for writers to create engaging and relatable content.

Understanding Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is an essential quality that helps us build strong relationships with others. Empathy is not about feeling sorry for someone; it’s about understanding their emotions and showing compassion towards them.

Cognitive Empathy

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand someone’s emotions intellectually. It involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and understanding their perspective. You can show cognitive empathy by actively listening to someone and asking questions to clarify their feelings.

Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy  is the capability to feel what someone else is feeling. It involves experiencing the same emotions as someone else, such as joy, sadness, or anger. You can show empathy by expressing your emotions and validating someone else’s.

Compassionate Empathy

Compassionate empathy is the capacity to understand and feel someone else’s emotions and take action to help them. It involves showing kindness and compassion towards others.

You can show compassionate empathy by offering support , providing encouragement, and taking action to help someone in need.

Building great relationships with people requires having a solid understanding of empathy. You can connect with people more deeply and build lasting connections by displaying cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy.

The Role of Empathy in Writing

Empathy is crucial in writing, especially fiction. You can create an engaging, emotional, and memorable story by creating empathy for your characters and readers. As a writer, putting yourself in the shoes of your characters and readers is indispensable to creating a story that resonates with them.

Empathy for Characters

Empathy is an essential element in writing, especially when it comes to creating characters . As a writer, you need to be able to put yourself in your protagonist’s shoes, understand their motivations, and feel their emotions.

You can create a relatable, likable, and believable character. When readers empathize with a character, they become invested in their story and are more likely to continue reading.

To create empathy for your characters, you should focus on  their backstory, personality, and struggles . Give them a history explaining their actions and motivations , making them flawed and vulnerable. Readers may connect with the character this way and get emotionally immersed in their path.

Empathy for Readers

Empathy is not only important for creating characters but also for  connecting with readers . As a writer, you need to understand your audience  and what they want from your story. By empathizing with your readers, you can create a story that resonates with them and leaves a lasting impression.

To create empathy for your readers, you should focus on  the emotions and experiences that your story evokes. Write relatable and authentically, and use descriptive language to create vivid images in the reader’s mind. This way, your readers can connect with the story and feel like they are a part of it.

Techniques to Show Empathy in Writing

Using emotions.

A compelling approach to conveying empathy in writing is through the skillful utilization of emotions. As you engage in the process of writing, strive to imagine the reader’s perspective, considering the range of emotions they might be experiencing. By empathetically connecting with their feelings, you can craft a narrative that resonates deeply and authentically.

Use words that convey your understanding of their emotions, such as “ I can imagine how frustrating that must be ” or “ I understand how overwhelming that can feel .” Acknowledging their feelings shows that you care and are empathetic toward their situation.

Sharing Stories

Sharing stories is another effective way to show empathy in writing. If you’ve been through a similar experience as your reader, share your story with them. This can help them feel understood and less alone.

Even if you haven’t been through the same situation, you can still share the stories of others who have. This can help your reader feel like they’re not the only ones going through what they’re experiencing.

Body Language

Body language is not only important in face-to-face interactions but also in writing. When you write, use body language  cues  to convey empathy. For example , use phrases like “I’m here for you” or “I’m listening” to show that you’re present and engaged.

You can also use physical descriptions, such as “ I can picture you feeling overwhelmed ” or “ I can imagine the weight of that burden .” These cues can help your reader feel heard and understood.

By using these techniques, you can show empathy in your writing and connect with your reader on a deeper level. Place yourself in their perspective, share stories, and use body language cues to convey your understanding and support.

The Importance of Active Listening

Active listening is the key to showing empathy in writing. It is a crucial skill that involves hearing what someone is saying and understanding their perspective. When we listen actively, we are showing the other person that we value their thoughts and feelings.

Listening Techniques

There are several techniques we can use to improve our active listening skills.

• It is important to give the speaker our full attention. This means putting aside distractions and focusing on what they are saying.
• We should try to understand the speaker’s perspective by putting ourselves in their shoes. This requires empathy and an open mind.

• Another important technique is to ask clarifying questions. This shows the speaker that we are interested in what they have to say and want to ensure we fully understand their message.
• We can also use non-verbal cues, such as nodding or maintaining eye contact, to show that we are engaged in the conversation.

Active listening is crucial for showing empathy in writing. By giving our full attention, understanding the speaker’s perspective, and asking clarifying questions, we can improve our ability to connect with others and convey empathy through our writing.

Building Connections through Empathy

Empathy is the key to building connections, bonds, relationships, and love in your writing. By understanding your readers’ feelings and perspectives, you can create a deeper connection with them. Use personal stories, anecdotes, and language that conveys love and compassion to show your readers that you care about their experiences.

Creating Bonds

Building connections with others is crucial in any form of communication. Empathy is the key to creating bonds with your readers. By understanding their feelings and perspectives, you can better connect with them on a personal level. Use phrases like “ I understand how you feel ” or “ I can relate to your situation ” to show your readers that you care about their experiences.

Building Relationships

Empathy is also essential in building long-lasting relationships  with your readers. You can establish trust and credibility by showing that you understand their needs and concerns. Use personal stories and anecdotes  to connect with your readers on a deeper level. Building relationships takes time and effort, but it’s ultimately worth it.

Love and Empathy

Love is the ultimate form of empathy . When you love someone, you are willing to understand their emotions and feelings without judgment. The same is true in writing. When you love your readers, you are willing to go the extra mile to connect with them and understand their needs. Use language that conveys love and compassion, such as “I care about you” or “I want the best for you.”

Empathy and Emotional Growth

Understanding emotions.

Empathy is essential to understand the emotions of others to be able to connect with them and communicate effectively . To show empathy, you need to be aware of your own emotions and be able to recognize and understand the emotions of others. Understanding emotions helps you to connect with others and build stronger relationships.

Fostering Compassion

Compassion is the ability to feel empathy and take action to alleviate the suffering of others. To nurture compassion, you need to practice empathy regularly. You can achieve this by engaging in active listening, empathetically placing yourself in the other person’s position, and responding with genuine kindness and understanding. Showing compassion can bring happiness to others and yourself.

Empathy and compassion are skills that can be developed and improved over time . Practicing empathy and compassion regularly can improve your emotional intelligence and build stronger relationships with others. Understanding emotions and fostering compassion is essential for emotional growth and well-being.

Practical Applications of Empathy in Writing

Empathy in action.

When writing with empathy, it’s critical to understand your audience’s perspective. Consider their experiences, emotions, and backgrounds when crafting your message . Use inclusive language and avoid assumptions or stereotypes that could alienate readers. Doing so demonstrates that you understand and respect their point of view.

Supporting Characters

Empathy is about understanding your readers and the characters in your writing. Develop your supporting characters with depth and complexity, giving them their own unique perspectives and experiences. This will make your writing more engaging and help readers relate to the characters and empathize with their struggles.

Appreciating Readers

Showing empathy also means acknowledging and appreciating your readers. Thank them for their time and attention, and show genuine interest in their feedback. Respond to comments and questions with kindness and understanding, even if you disagree with their perspective. By doing so, you build a relationship of trust and respect with your readers.

In practical terms, empathy in writing means using language and tone that resonates with your audience, creating characters that readers can relate to, and valuing your readers’ perspectives. Incorporating empathy into your writing can create a more meaningful and impactful message.

The presence of empathy in writing is not merely a superficial attribute but a transformative force that enables us to forge a genuine and lasting connection with our readers. When we embrace empathy, we transcend the limitations of words on a page, delving into the realm of emotions and shared experiences.

By empathetically understanding our readers’ needs, desires, and challenges, we can craft narratives that touch their hearts, inspire change, and leave a lasting impact.

Empathy in writing prompts us to step into our readers’ shoes, see the world through their eyes, and communicate with a deep sense of understanding and compassion. Through this empathetic lens, we can effectively address their concerns, evoke emotions, and provide solace or guidance.

The ultimate guide to connecting with readers lies in our ability to empathize. It requires us to engage in active listening, immerse ourselves in their perspectives, and respond authentically and sincerely. Doing so creates an environment of trust, vulnerability, and shared understanding.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. what are some effective ways to convey empathy in writing.

One effective way to convey empathy in writing is to use language that acknowledges the other person’s feelings. This can be done by using phrases such as “I understand how you feel” or “I can imagine how difficult this must be for you.” Another way is to actively listen to the other person’s perspective and respond in a way that shows you understand their point of view.

Q. How can I make my characters more empathetic in my writing?

Giving your characters a backstory explaining their motivations and experiences is vital to make them more empathetic. This can help readers understand why the character behaves in a certain way and can make them more relatable. It’s also necessary to show the character actively listening to others and responding in a way that shows they understand their feelings.

Q. Why is it important to show empathy in writing?

Showing empathy in writing can help build stronger relationships and improve communication. It can also help people feel heard and understood, which can lead to more positive outcomes in personal and professional relationships.

Q. What are some examples of empathetic writing?

Empathetic writing can take many forms, such as a heartfelt letter to a friend, a blog post about a difficult experience, or a news article highlighting a marginalized group’s struggles. The key is to use language that acknowledges the feelings of others and shows a willingness to understand their perspective.

Q. How can I write an essay that demonstrates empathy?

To write an essay that demonstrates empathy, it’s necessary first to understand the topic from multiple perspectives. This can be done by researching different viewpoints and actively listening to others. It’s also significant to use language that acknowledges the feelings of others and shows a willingness to understand their perspective.

Q. What are some techniques for showing concern in writing?

Some techniques for showing concern in writing include using language that acknowledges the other person’s feelings, actively listening to their perspective, and responding to show you understand their point of view. Be genuine and authentic in your communication and avoid making assumptions or judgments about the other person’s experience.

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Overview of Writing an Essay with Empathy: Why is It Important?

As writers, one of our primary goals is to connect with our readers and leave a lasting impression. This is particularly important when writing essays, where our aim is to engage our audience in a meaningful way. One of the key ways to achieve this is by developing empathetic skills and using them in writing.

Empathy is a vital skill that is often overlooked in writing, regardless of whether your goal is to create character empathy or not. It is not just about understanding the emotions of others but also about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective. When writing an essay, it is important to consider your reader's needs and concerns.

One way to show reader empathy in your writing is by using inclusive language. This means using words and phrases that are inclusive of different genders, races, religions, and cultures. By doing this, you are showing your reader that you understand and respect their identity and experiences. It also helps to create a sense of belonging and community, which can make your writing more engaging.

Another way to demonstrate empathy in your writing is by acknowledging and validating the other person's emotions, regardless of whether you're referring to your reader's emotions or building character empathy. This can be done by sharing personal stories or experiences that relate to the topic of your essay. By doing this, you are showing your reader that you understand their struggles and that you are there to support them.

Tips for Writing with Empathy

So, which technique does the author use to engage the reader? Let's find out more about the expert tips for writing an essay with empathy prepared by our paper writing service !

Understand the Reader

Before you wonder how to start writing with empathy, take some time to understand your audience and consider which techniques are used to engage a reader. Who are they? What do they care about? What are their concerns and questions? By understanding your reader, you can tailor your writing style and approach to their needs, using techniques such as storytelling, vivid descriptions, rhetorical questions, and emotional appeals.

Choose an Engaging Topic

Consider your reader's interests and what topics are relevant and meaningful to them. Brainstorm a range of ideas and select a topic that ignites your own passion. By choosing a topic that resonates with your reader, you establish a connection right from the start. This connection, rooted in shared interests and relevance, enables your writing to have a more profound impact. Being one of the best tips for essay writing, remember that an engaging topic sets the stage for an engaging and impactful piece of writing.

Create an Emotional Connection

Emotions are a powerful tool in essay writing, whether you decide - 'I'll pay someone to write my paper ' or not. By connecting with your reader on an emotional level, you can help them relate to your essay and feel invested in your ideas. Use vivid language, storytelling, and personal anecdotes to engage your reader's emotions. This can be one of the helpful tips for writing common app essay, too, creating a deeper connection with your reader and making your writing more impactful.

Structure the Essay for Impact

When it comes to understanding how to start writing with empathy, whether it's for a book report or any other type of writing, the structure of your essay is key. Use a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction that captures your reader's attention, even if you're thinking, 'Who can write my book report for me ?' and a conclusion that leaves a lasting impression.

Break up your text into smaller sections with headings, bullet points, or numbered lists to make it easier for your reader to follow along. By structuring your essay in a way that is easy to follow, you can help your reader stay engaged and invested in your ideas.

Use Empathetic Language

The same words can be interpreted differently by each individual. So, choose your language carefully and use words that resonate with your reader. Use inclusive language, avoid jargon, and speak to your reader directly. This is one of the most impactful essay writing tips for students that can help your reader feel seen and understood in your writing.

Engage the Reader through Active Engagement

Active engagement is one of the key tips for writing an essay that keeps your reader invested, leveraging the intricate workings of the human brain. Use questions, prompts, and calls to action to encourage your reader to think about your ideas and interact with your writing. By tapping into their innate curiosity and encouraging interaction, you foster a sense of ownership in your reader, making them more likely to remember and internalize your concepts. This active engagement activates various cognitive mechanisms within the human brain, enhancing the overall impact and memorability of your essay.

Craft a Memorable Conclusion

When crafting the conclusion of your essay, it is essential to present your main claims in an objectively explicit manner. Summarize your points with sensitivity and clarity, ensuring that the emotional resonance of your essay carries through. Consider leaving your reader with a memorable quote or insightful reflection, inviting them to further contemplate the topic at hand. By asking a thought-provoking question, you engage your readers' empathy and encourage them to connect their own experiences with the essay's themes. A well-crafted conclusion, infused with genuine empathy, can ensure that your writing resonates deeply and leaves an indelible mark on your reader's mind.

Edit and Revise with Empathy

Finally, when it comes to grammar tips for essay writing, remember to revise and edit your essay with empathy. Put yourself in your reader's shoes and read your essay as if you were a member of your audience. Look for areas where you can clarify your ideas, improve flow, or add more engagement points. By editing and revising with empathy, not only can you ensure grammatical correctness, but you can also write an essay that truly resonates with your reader.

Examples of Writing with Empathy

Here are some examples of writing with empathy in different essay types, along with helpful tips and suggestions to create vivid descriptions that resonate with your readers.

Tips for writing a narrative essay : To create more empathy, incorporate sensory details, vivid descriptions, and a reflective tone. This will captivate your readers and immerse them in your narrative, creating a compelling and memorable essay.

• Example: 'I still remember the day vividly, as if it happened just yesterday. The wind carried the scent of freshly bloomed flowers, and the sun painted the sky in hues of gold. It was a day of joy and innocence, a day when I believed that anything was possible. Little did I know that life had a different plan in store for me, one that would test my resilience and redefine my understanding of strength.'

Tips for writing a personal essay : Share your authentic experiences, emotions, or even character flaws. To develop empathy, use introspection, vulnerability, and personal reflection to connect with your readers on a profound level and create empathy.

• Example: 'Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way. It was during one such difficult period that I realized the true power of love and support. My family stood by my side, offering unwavering encouragement and a comforting shoulder to lean on. Their presence became my anchor, guiding me through the storm and reminding me that I was never alone.'

Tips for writing a persuasive essay : Present a strong argument supported by credible evidence and logical reasoning. Use persuasive language, appeal to the emotions of your audience, and anticipate and address counterarguments to strengthen your stance.

• Example: 'Imagine a world where our children can breathe in fresh air without the fear of pollution. Picture a future where lush green landscapes replace concrete jungles and endangered species thrive in their natural habitats. This vision can become a reality if human beings unite in our efforts to combat climate change. By adopting sustainable practices and advocating for renewable energy initiatives, we can safeguard the beauty of our planet for generations to come.'

Tips for writing an argumentative essay : Present a clear and well-supported argument. Conduct thorough research, gather compelling evidence, and address opposing viewpoints to strengthen your position. Structure your essay with a strong introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and a compelling conclusion that reinforces your main points.

• Example: 'The urgency of addressing climate change cannot be overstated. Scientific evidence unequivocally points to the grave consequences of inaction. From rising sea levels to extreme weather events, the impacts of climate change are already being felt across the globe. Denying the reality or downplaying the severity of this crisis is a disservice to ourselves and future generations. It is imperative that we take immediate action to mitigate and adapt to the changing climate before it's too late.'

Final Thoughts

By incorporating empathy into your writing, you can create a more engaging and impactful piece. Use these tips for essay writing from our custom essay writing service to help you develop meaningful connections with your reader and create a lasting impression with your paper.

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Cultivating empathy

Psychologists’ research offers insight into why it’s so important to practice the “right” kind of empathy, and how to grow these skills

Vol. 52 No. 8 Print version: page 44

• Personality

In a society marked by increasing division, we could all be a bit more kind, cooperative, and tolerant toward others. Beneficial as those traits are, psychological research suggests empathy may be the umbrella trait required to develop all these virtues. As empathy researcher and Stanford University psychologist Jamil Zaki, PhD, describes it, empathy is the “psychological ‘superglue’ that connects people and undergirds co-operation and kindness” ( The Economist , June 7, 2019). And even if empathy doesn’t come naturally, research suggests people can cultivate it—and hopefully improve society as a result.

“In general, empathy is a powerful predictor of things we consider to be positive behaviors that benefit society, individuals, and relationships,” said Karina Schumann , PhD, a professor of social psychology at the University of Pittsburgh. “Scholars have shown across domains that empathy motivates many types of prosocial behaviors, such as forgiveness, volunteering, and helping, and that it’s negatively associated with things like aggression and bullying.”

For example, research by C. Daniel Batson , PhD, a professor emeritus of social psychology at the University of Kansas, suggests empathy can motivate people to help someone else in need ( Altruism in Humans , Oxford University Press, 2011), and a 2019 study suggests empathy levels predict charitable donation behavior (Smith, K. E., et al., The Journal of Positive Psychology , Vol. 15, No. 6, 2020).

Ann Rumble , PhD, a psychology lecturer at Northern Arizona University, found empathy can override noncooperation, causing people to be more generous and forgiving and less retaliative ( European Journal of Social Psychology , Vol. 40, No. 5, 2010). “Empathic people ask themselves, ‘Maybe I need to find out more before I jump to a harsh judgment,’” she said.

Empathy can also promote better relationships with strangers. For example, Batson’s past research highlights that empathy can help people adopt more positive attitudes and helping behavior toward stigmatized groups, particularly disabled and homeless individuals and those with AIDS ( Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Vol. 72, No. 1, 1997).

Empathy may also be a crucial ingredient in mitigating bias and systemic racism. Jason Okonofua , PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, has found that teachers are more likely to employ severe discipline with Black students—and that they’re more likely to label Black students as “troublemakers” ( Psychological Science , Vol. 26, No. 5, 2015).

These labels, Okonofua said, can shape how teachers interpret behavior, forging a path toward students’ school failure and incarceration. When Okonofua and his colleagues created an intervention to help teachers build positive relationships with students and value their perspectives, their increased empathy reduced punitive discipline ( PNAS , Vol. 113, No. 19, 2016).

Similarly, Okonofua and colleagues found empathy from parole officers can prevent adults on probation from reoffending ( PNAS , Vol. 118, No. 14, 2021).

In spite of its potential benefits, empathy itself isn’t an automatic path toward social good. To develop empathy that actually helps people requires strategy. “If you’re trying to develop empathy in yourself or in others, you have to make sure you’re developing the right kind,” said Sara Konrath , PhD, an associate professor of social psychology at Indiana University who studies empathy and altruism.

The right kind of empathy

Empathy is often crucial for psychologists working with patients in practice, especially when patients are seeking validation of their feelings. However, empathy can be a draining skill if not practiced correctly. Overidentifying with someone else’s emotions can be stressful, leading to a cardiovascular stress response similar to what you’d experience in the same painful or threatening situation, said Michael J. Poulin , PhD, an associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo who studies how people respond to others’ adversity.

Outside of clinical practice, some scholars argue empathy is unhelpful and even damaging. For example, Paul Bloom, PhD , a professor of psychology at Yale University, argues that because empathy directs helping behavior toward specific individuals—most often, those in one’s own group—it may prevent more beneficial help to others ( Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion , Ecco , 2016).

In some cases, empathy may also promote antagonism and aggression (Buffone, A. E. K., & Poulin, M. J., Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , Vol. 40, No. 11, 2014). For example, Daryl Cameron , PhD, an associate professor of psychology and senior research associate in the Rock Ethics Institute and director of the Empathy and Moral Psychology Lab at Penn State University, has found that apparent biases in empathy like parochialism and the numbness to mass suffering may sometimes be due to motivated choices. He also notes that empathy can still have risks in some cases. “There are times when what looks like empathy promotes favoritism at the expense of the outgroup,” said Cameron.

Many of these negative outcomes are associated with a type of empathy called self-oriented perspective taking—imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes. “How you take the perspective can make a difference,” said John Dovidio , PhD, the Carl I. Hovland Professor Emeritus of Psychology and a professor emeritus in the Institute for Social and Policy Studies and of Epidemiology at Yale University. “When you ask me to imagine myself in another person’s position,” Dovidio said, “I may experience a lot of personal distress, which can interfere with prosocial behaviors.” Taking on that emotional burden, Schumann added, could also increase your own risk for distressing emotions, such as anxiety.

According to Konrath, the form of empathy shown most beneficial for both the giver and the receiver is an other-oriented response. “It’s a cognitive style of perspective taking where someone imagines another person’s perspective, reads their emotions, and can understand them in general,” she said.

Other-oriented perspective taking may result in empathic concern, also known as compassion, which could be seen as an emotional response to a cognitive process. It’s that emotion that may trigger helping behavior. “If I simply understand you’re in trouble, I may not act, but emotion energizes me,” said Dovidio.

While many practitioners may find empathy to come naturally, psychologists’ research can help clinicians guide patients toward other-oriented empathy and can also help practitioners struggling with compassion fatigue to re-up their empathy. According to Poulin, people are more likely to opt out of empathy if it feels cognitively or emotionally taxing, which could impact psychologists’ ability to effectively support their patients.

To avoid compassion fatigue with patients—and maintain the empathy required for helping them—Poulin said it’s important to reflect on the patient’s feeling or experience without necessarily trying to feel it yourself. “It’s about putting yourself in the right role,” he said. “Your goal isn’t to be the sufferer, but to be the caregiver.”

Be willing to grow

Cameron’s research found that the cognitive costs of empathy could cause people to avoid it but that it may be possible to increase empathy by teaching people to do it effectively ( Journal of Experimental Psychology: General , Vol. 148, No. 6, 2019).

Further, research by Schumann and Zaki shows that the desire to grow in empathy can be a driver in cultivating it. They found people can extend empathic effort—asking questions and listening longer to responses—in situations where they feel different than someone, primarily if they believe empathy could be developed with effort ( Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Vol. 107, No. 3, 2014).

Similarly, Erika Weisz , PhD, a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Harvard University, said that the first step to increasing your empathy is to adopt a growth mindset—to believe you’re capable of growing in empathy.

“People who believe that empathy can grow try harder to empathize when it doesn’t come naturally to them, for instance, by empathizing with people who are unfamiliar to them or different than they are, compared to people who believe empathy is a stable trait,” she said.

For example, Weisz found addressing college students’ empathy mindsets increases the accuracy with which they perceive others’ emotions; it also tracks with the number of friends college freshmen make during their first year on campus ( Emotion , online first publication, 2020).

Expose yourself to differences

To imagine another’s perspective, the more context, the better. Shereen Naser , PhD, a professor of psychology at Cleveland State University, said consuming diverse media—for example, a White person reading books or watching movies with a ­non-White protagonist—and even directly participating in someone else’s culture can provide a backdrop against which to adopt someone else’s perspective.

When you’re in these situations, be fully present. “Paying attention to other people allows you to be moved by their experiences,” said Sara Hodges , PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon. “Whether you are actively ­perspective-taking or not, if you just pay more attention to other people, you’re likely to feel more concerned for them and become more involved in their experiences.”

For example, in a course focused on diversity, Naser encourages her graduate students to visit a community they’ve never spent time in. “One student came back saying they felt like an outsider when they attended a Hindu celebration and that they realized that’s what marginalized people feel like every day,” she said. Along with decreasing your bias, such realizations could also spark a deeper understanding of another’s culture—and why they might think or feel the way they do.

Read fiction

Raymond Mar , PhD, a professor of psychology at York University in Toronto, studies how reading fiction and other kinds of character-driven stories can help people better understand others and the world. “To understand stories, we have to understand characters, their motivations, interactions, reactions, and goals,” he said. “It’s possible that while understanding stories, we can improve our ability to understand real people in the real world at the same time.”

When you engage with a story, you’re also engaging the same cognitive abilities you’d use during social cognition ( Current Directions in Psychological Science , Vol. 27, No. 4, 2018). You can get the same effect with any medium—live theater, a show on Netflix, or a novel—as long as it has core elements of a narrative, story, and characters.

The more one practices empathy (e.g., by relating to fictional characters), the more perspectives one can absorb while not feeling that one’s own is threatened. “The foundation of empathy has to be a willingness to listen to other peoples’ experiences and to believe they’re valid,” Mar said. “You don’t have to deny your own experience to accept someone else’s.”

Harness the power of oxytocin

The social hormone oxytocin also plays a role in facilitating empathy. Bianca Jones Marlin , PhD, a neuroscientist and assistant professor of psychology at Columbia University, found that mice that had given birth are more likely to pick up crying pups than virgin animals and that the oxytocin released during the birth and parenting process actually changes the hearing centers of the brain to motivate prosocial and survival behaviors ( Nature , Vol. 520, No. 7548, 2015).

Oxytocin can also breed helping responses in those who don’t have a blood relationship; when Marlin added oxytocin to virgin mice’s hearing centers, they took care of pups that weren’t theirs. “It’s as if biology has prepared us to take care of those who can’t take care of themselves,” she said. “But that’s just a baseline; it’s up to us as a society to build this in our relationships.”

Through oxytocin-releasing behaviors like eye contact and soft physical touch, Marlin said humans can harness the power of oxytocin to promote empathy and helping behaviors in certain contexts. Oxytocin is also known to mediate ingroup and outgroup feelings.

The key, Marlin said, is for both parties to feel connected and unthreatened. To overcome that hurdle, she suggests a calm but direct approach: Try saying, “I don’t agree with your views, but I want to learn more about what led you to that perspective.”

Identify common ground

Feeling a sense of social connection is an important part of triggering prosocial behaviors. “You perceive the person as a member of your own group, or because the situation is so compelling that your common humanity is aroused,” Dovidio said. “When you experience this empathy, it motivates you to help the other person, even at a personal cost to you.”

One way to boost this motivation is to manipulate who you see as your ingroup. Jay Van Bavel , PhD, an associate professor of psychology and neural science at New York University, found that in the absence of an existing social connection, finding a shared identity can promote empathy ( Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , Vol. 55, 2014). “We find over and over again when people have a common identity, even if it’s created in the moment, they are more motivated to get inside the mind of another person,” Van Bavel said.

For example, Van Bavel has conducted fMRI research that suggests being placed on the same team for a work activity can increase cooperation and trigger positive feelings for individuals once perceived as outgroup, even among different races ( Psychological Science , Vol. 19, No. 11, 2008).

To motivate empathy in your own interactions, find similarities instead of focusing on differences. For instance, maybe you and a neighbor have polar opposite political ideologies, but your kids are the same age and go to the same school. Build on that similarity to create more empathy. “We contain multiple identities, and part of being socially intelligent is finding the identity you share,” Van Bavel said.

Ask questions

Existing research often measures a person’s empathy by accuracy—how well people can label someone’s face as angry, sad, or happy, for example. Alexandra Main , PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Merced, said curiosity and interest can also be an important component of empathy. “Mind reading isn’t always the way empathy works in everyday life. It’s more about actively trying to appreciate someone’s point of view,” she said. If you’re in a situation and struggling with empathy, it’s not necessarily that you don’t care—your difficulty may be because you don’t understand that person’s perspective. Asking questions and engaging in curiosity is one way to change that.

While Main’s research focuses on parent-child relationships, she says the approach also applies to other relationship dynamics; for example, curiosity about why your spouse doesn’t do the dishes might help you understand influencing factors and, as a result, prevent conflict and promote empathy.

Main suggests asking open-ended questions to the person you want to show empathy to, and providing nonverbal cues like nodding when someone’s talking can encourage that person to share more. Certain questions, like ones you should already know the answer to, can have the opposite effect, as can asking personal questions when your social partner doesn’t wish to share.

The important thing is to express interest. “These kinds of behaviors are really facilitative of disclosure and open discussion,” Main said. “And in the long term, expressing interest in another person can facilitate empathy in the relationship” ( Social Development , Vol. 28, No. 3, 2019).

Understand your blocks

Research suggests everyone has empathy blocks, or areas where it is difficult to exhibit empathy. To combat these barriers to prosocial behavior, Schumann suggests noticing your patterns and focusing on areas where you feel it’s hard to connect to people and relate to their experiences.

If you find it hard to be around negative people, for example, confront this difficulty and spend time with them. Try to reflect on a time when you had a negative outlook on something and observe how they relate. And as you listen, don’t interrupt or formulate rebuttals or responses.

“The person will feel so much more validated and heard when they’ve really had an opportunity to voice their opinion, and most of the time people will reciprocate,” Schumann said. “You might still disagree strongly, but you will have a stronger sense of why they have the perspective they do.”

Second-guess yourself

Much of empathy boils down to willingness to learn—and all learning involves questioning your assumptions and automatic reactions in both big-picture issues, such as racism, and everyday interactions. According to Rumble, it’s important to be mindful of “what-ifs” in frustrating situations before jumping to snap judgments. For example, if a patient is continually late to appointments, don’t assume they don’t take therapy seriously––something else, like stress or unreliable transportation, might be getting in the way of their timeliness.

And if you do find yourself making a negative assumption, slow down and admit you could be wrong. “As scientists, we ­second-guess our assumptions all the time, looking for alternative explanations,” said Hodges. “We need to do that as people, too.”

Further reading

What’s the matter with empathy? Konrath, S. H., Greater Good Magazine , Jan. 24, 2017

Addressing the empathy deficit: Beliefs about the malleability of empathy predict effortful responses when empathy is challenging Schumann, K., et al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 2014

It is hard to read minds without words: Cues to use to achieve empathic accuracy Hodges, S. D., & Kezer, M., Journal of Intelligence , 2021

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Empathy: What Is It and How Does It Work Essay

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Introduction

The meaning of empathy, what it takes for one to express empathy, empathy in the society, empathy in the study book, how important is empathy, works cited.

Empathy is a virtue that is associated with human beings. It can be said to be one of the virtues that separate caring and uncaring people. This article examines the meaning of empathy in general. It shows what it means to have empathy as a human being. Empathy is also examined from the context of the book Do androids dream of electric sheep. The context of the story in this book reveals, in a special way, how empathy can be and cannot be expressed. The effects of expressing and not expressing empathy are also looked at. Over expression is specifically pointed out as being unhealthy.

Empathy has been defined as the ability to identify with a situation that another person is going through. It has also been defined as the ability to experience another person’s feelings (Empathy 1). When a person identifies with another person’s situation and tries to alleviate or mitigate the stressing factor in the situation, then one can say that he or she is expressing empathy. Acts of empathy may therefore include such actions as giving food to the needy in the society or providing shelter to those who are homeless. Generally, empathy has much to do with acts of kindness directed to people faced with situations which are hostile. It is kindness directed to people who need it based on how the donor or the person giving has perceived the situation at hand (Vincent 10).

The feeling of empathy comes up when there is a clear difference between the person being empathetic and the one who is the subject of empathy. Generally, two persons in the same unfortunate situation may not manifest empathy feelings towards each other. This is because of undergoing the same situation and neither of them may be in a position to help the other. But if two people are experiencing different unfortunate circumstances at the same time, they may be able console each other thus they may show empathy to each other. For instance, a bereaved person may show empathy to another person who has lost his or her house to fire.

Empathy can be examined as a feeling that pushes a person to do something good for another person particularly when the other person is in a bad situation. Basically, for one to express empathy therefore one needs to have feelings. One has to feel and be touched by what others are going through. Because empathy is just but a feeling, it does not really cost much, at least financially, to feel empathetic. However, acts of empathy may cost some resources depending on individual acts in question (Thagard 15).

What it takes to express empathy is therefore the ability to have the feeling first such that there is identification with the situation at hand and then being in a position to offer the help required in whole or in part. Empathy has to do with feelings and in cases where a person’s feelings have been hardened; empathy may not be manifested easily. A good illustration is those that propagate violence especially the leaders (Thagard 15).

Empathy can only be expressed between two person or more. For empathy to be expressed, one party (one person or persons) has to be in a disadvantaged or hostile position in order for the other to offer some assistance. It is worth noting that acts of empathy or helping others who are a hostile situation or in a position that need assistance should be on a voluntary basis. If one is coerced to help another person then such an action may not pass as an act of empathy. Empathy therefore has significantly to do with the willingness to help out of one’s own volition or free will.

There are many ways in which empathy can be expressed in the society. More often than not, people in the society are not endowed equally and therefore there are some who are less privileged. One way on expressing empathy therefore is by lending a hand to those who are less privileged. One way in which this can be done perfectly is through visiting children homes. Most of the children in these homes are orphans. By spending time with them, playing and talking with them, they get the feeling of being cared for. This is important as it enables them to develop self confidence. Apart from spending time with them one can gift them with items such as clothes.

One may also express empathy to the sick especially those admitted in hospitals. Patients admitted in hospital are more likely to undergo psychological distress especially because of being away from family members. Expressing empathy in this case can be done through a word of encouragement. Words of encouragement as gestures of empathy will also work well in a family setting especially when one of the members has been faced with an unfortunate situation, for instance, falling sick.

The study book Do androids dream of electric sheep depicts in a clear manner the meaning of empathy and how it is applied. The book starts by setting the conditions right for the empathy to be exercised. The whole world is destroyed and only a handful of living things survive. Human beings as well as animals are left vulnerable and in a state where they need each other. Empathy in this book is shown as a biological trait which no android, even the most intelligent, can imitate. This is because emotions cannot be programmed into a computer (Dick 1).

I am of the view that it is the human beings who are the subject of empathy in this book. This may sound reversal but taking into consideration the joy and satisfaction that humans get from keeping animals, it turns out to be true. To keep an animal is prestigious and those who cannot afford animals are forced to find pleasure in keeping electric animals. This act of keeping electric animals as seen in the book can only point out to the fact that humans have some desire within themselves to offer care that if not satisfied disturbs them. Animals come in to satisfy that need by accepting to be cared for by the humans.

Technically, as the animals are being shown empathy by being cared for they are also playing a major role of showing empathy to humans by allowing themselves to be cared for. Indeed in the book, empathy is viewed as a two way traffic action whereby one party is willing to show empathy to another party and the other party is willing to accept the actions of empathy advanced by the first party.

Empathy is a vital virtue to human beings. It can be said to be among the virtues that help to make the society better. As was noted in the book, empathy differentiates us from machines. It gives us the kindness that makes human beings different from animals. Empathy also helps to unite people as they identify with one another in various struggles that they undergo (Waal 1).

Although it has been generally agreed that empathy is important, there is a caution that it should be expressed carefully in some cases. Caregivers need to express empathy when attending to patients. However, it has been noted that expression of empathy too much may make the patients vulnerable to be hurt (Hojat 12). Too much expression of empathy in such a scenario may also make the patients feel that their situations are dire. Such a feeling will obviously do more harm than any good (Eisenberg 1).

Empathy has been viewed as the ability to identify with a situation that another person is undergoing. Empathy significantly has to do with feelings. Empathy is shown when a person is in an unfortunate situation that may need consoling. In most cases, empathy propels a person to do something about the situation in question. The feeling of empathy will therefore push one into action, however in some cases there are no actions which might be done. Therefore, empathy does not change because one has not responded to the prompt to act.

It has also been discussed that it only takes feeling to have empathy. Since one does not need to act in order to show empathy, it can be argued that almost every person can express empathy. Those who may not display empathy are those who have hardened their emotions. Showing empathy has a positive effect on those who receive it.

Empathy consoles them and psychologically strengthens them to keep on fighting. This is especially the case for patients. However, it has also been cautioned against too much expression of empathy as it may create the impression that a person is in such a desperate situation that he or she might not recover. This will psychologically affect the person in a very negative manner.

Dick, Philip. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep . New York: Orion, 2010. Print.

Eisenberg, Nancy. Empathy and Its Development . New York: CUP Archive, 1990. Print.

Empathy. Empathy vs. Sympathy . DIFFEN, 2013.

Hojat, Mohammad. Empathy in Patient Care: Antecedents, Development, Measurement, and Outcomes . New York: Springer, 2007. Print.

Thagard, Paul. The Brain and the Meaning of Life . New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 2010. Print.

Vincent, Steve. Being Empathic: A Companion for Counselors and Therapists . New York: Radcliffe Publishing, 2005. Print.

Waal, Franz. The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society . New Jersey: Crown Publishing Group, 2010. Print.

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What is empathy?

The different components of empathy, why is empathy so important, signs you or a loved one lack empathy, causes of lack of empathy, building empathy tip 1: practice listening skills, tip 2: learn to read body language, tip 3: embrace your vulnerability, tip 4: improve emotional intelligence, tip 5: explore new perspectives, empathy: how to feel and respond to the emotions of others.

Empathy helps you see things from another person’s perspective, sympathize with their emotions, and build stronger relationships—at work, school, and in your personal life. Here’s how to become more empathetic.

Empathy is the ability to see things from another’s perspective and feel their emotions. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes might lead you to act with compassion and do what you can to improve their situation. In doing so, you can reduce the other person’s distress as well as your own.

Imagine you come home to find out your spouse or partner is ill. Even if you were having a good day, you would suddenly feel their distress and tend to their needs. If a friend is angry about the way a boss treated them, you’d likely share their sense of frustration. Maybe you can’t solve their problem, but you can understand that they need to vent their emotions.

Empathy isn’t just about hardships. When your child is excited about something, you feel their joy. When your friend is laughing at a joke, you experience their amusement. Empathy allows you to deepen your relationships as you connect with friends’ and loved ones’ thoughts and feelings, and they connect with yours.

Empathy can extend to people you don’t know as well. If you saw someone sitting alone at a party, for example, you might empathize with their loneliness and chat with them. If you saw images of other people suffering on the other side of the world, you might be moved to donate resources to help alleviate their suffering. On the other hand, when you see a televised crowd roaring with joy, you might feel your spirits rise. Their delight becomes your delight.

Empathy vs sympathy

While the two words are often used interchangeably, there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Unlike empathy, sympathy doesn’t involve sharing what someone else feels. When you’re sympathetic, you care about the person’s problem or misfortune and feel sorry for their suffering, but you don’t fully feel their pain.

When a friend experiences a bereavement, for example, if you’re sympathetic you understand why they feel sad and are grieving, and feel sorry for their loss. If you’re empathetic, though, you can also feel the grief they’re going through. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for the person, while empathy is more a feeling of compassion for them.

Researchers tend to recognize at least two components of empathy: affective and cognitive.

Affective (or emotional) empathy is the ability to feel what others are feeling. If your spouse is stressed and sad, you might mirror those emotions. If a friend is jovial and upbeat, you might find yourself grinning as their happiness seems contagious.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s mental state. It gives you insight into the other person’s perspective and emotions. If you recognize that your spouse is angry, you can predict that your joke isn’t going to land well. If you can tell that your friend is feeling helpless, you won’t be surprised by their sudden outburst.

These two components of empathy require different neural networks in your brain. So, it’s possible to have high cognitive empathy but low emotional empathy and vice versa.

Empathy differences between sexes

Research shows that women are more likely to report feeling sad when they hear about the suffering of others. This matches the results of a recent functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) study, which showed that female brains appear more receptive to feeling other people’s pain. However, the study showed no differences between the sexes in cognitive empathy.

Empathy has an important role to play in your life. First, it can strengthen your bonds with the people you interact with. As you try to understand others, you also make them feel heard and understood. They’re then more likely to take the time to empathize with you as well. This deepens your relationship and promotes that feeling of connection that all of us desire.

Research shows that having a strong social support network tends to increase a person’s happiness. Because empathy leads to better relationships, it can be a key component to building a more satisfying life.

Empathy can also:

Motivate prosocial behavior . Empathy can motivate you to take actions that improve the lives of others. These actions might include anything from donating to a charity to encouraging a friend to seek help for alcohol abuse to simply comforting someone with a hug.

Guide decision-making . In social situations, empathy can help you decide on the wisest course of action. If your spouse seems stressed out from work, you can infer that it’s not the best time to ask them to take on more responsibilities.

Reduce burnout . The results of one study suggest that empathy might be useful in reducing burnout . This is because empathy allows for more effective communication and collaboration, even in difficult work environments.

Help diffuse conflict . If you’re in a bitter argument with your coworker, for example, empathizing with them can prevent you from being overly critical or needlessly cruel. Once you have a better understanding of someone else’s perspective, it’s easier to move on to proposing a compromise .

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Empathy isn’t something that you either have or don’t have. Some people have a high degree of empathy, while others have lower empathy.

If your empathic abilities are on the lower end of the spectrum, you might feel indifferent to other people’s pain. For example, if a friend’s house is burglarized, you might say or think, “Well, that wouldn’t have happened if you were more careful.” Or maybe you look down on family members who are dealing with financial hardship and chalk it up to their failure to work hard. You might even hold the misguided belief that bad things like that would never happen to you.

Low empathy can also lead you to believe that the people around you are too sensitive. You might constantly be surprised that your friends are offended by your jokes. Maybe you don’t understand how your words and actions wound your loved ones. This can lead to all sorts of arguments and misunderstandings.

If you have low empathy, you might have a lack of patience when dealing with people who are in distress. Perhaps your go-to piece of advice for other people is, “Just get over it.” Despite this, you tend to hold grudges and don’t forgive people for mistakes. You never seem to have the time or bandwidth to listen to other people’s perspectives or reflect on their emotional states.

Recognizing a lack of empathy in others

If a loved one is lacking in empathy, you’re likely to have some turbulent interactions. They might be impatient and overly critical, leading you to feel as if you’re walking on eggshells.

[Read: Dealing with Difficult Family Relationships]

You might notice that they’re constantly dismissing your problems or tuning out when you talk about your feelings. You might feel unheard or start to question if you really are being too sensitive. Realize that their lack of empathy is an issue only they can correct.

In some circumstances, it’s natural to feel low empathy. You might have a hard time empathizing with someone who bullied you or mistreated your loved ones. This could just be a situational lack of empathy and not reflective of how well you empathize with people in general.

Certain experiences might decrease your empathy. For example, some research indicates that empathy can decline as medical students go through training. This might be due to burnout , as med students struggle with stressful workloads and increased responsibilities. Med students might also use emotional detachment to protect themselves from psychological distress while on the job or to maintain professionalism when dealing with patients.

However, it’s by no means set in stone that experiences will have this effect. Other studies show that empathy levels in medical students either increase or remain unchanged.

Several mental health conditions, developmental disorders, and personality disorders might involve low empathy:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) . BPD involves intense insecurity, extreme emotional swings, and an unstable self-image. People with BPD may have a normal level of cognitive empathy, but difficulty with emotional empathy.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) . Narcisists often exhibit a pattern of extreme self-centeredness and arrogance, as well as a high need for admiration. Some research shows that people with NPD may have low empathy, perhaps specifically emotional empathy. It’s also possible that they have a degree of empathy but little motivation to act on those feelings.

[Read: Personality Disorders]

Machiavellianism . This is a personality trait that involves a tendency to be manipulative and disregard morality. People with this trait may have a low drive to act on empathy.

Psychopathy . Psychopathy is a disorder characterized by callousness and antisocial behavior . Lack of emotional empathy, but not necessarily cognitive empathy, is a hallmark of this disorder.

Autism and empathy

There’s a common myth that autistic individuals lack empathy. Some, but not all, autistic people may struggle with cognitive empathy. For example, an autistic person might have trouble immediately pinpointing why another person is upset. They might even have a hard time expressing a response that matches societal norms. This shouldn’t be confused with a lack of caring.

Read: Adult Autism and Relationships .

Empathy isn’t a fixed trait. Think of it as a muscle that can be developed with exercise. Developing your listening skills, paying attention to body language , and increasing emotional intelligence can heighten your ability to empathize with others. Embracing your own vulnerability and exploring new perspectives can also help.

You can’t put yourself in another person’s shoes if you’re unwilling to hear what they have to say. That’s why listening skills are a vital part of building empathy. You’ll need to go beyond just pretending to listen. Aim to listen so intently that you gain an understanding of the person’s situation, views, and emotions.

Identify and remove barriers to listening . If you’re stressed out, you’re going to have a harder time focusing on the other person. Consider addressing the stressor —whether it’s a looming deadline or a toothache—before continuing the conversation. Multitasking is another common barrier to active listening. Put away your phone and stop whatever else you’re doing so you can give the other person your undivided attention. This is especially important during disagreements or when broaching sensitive or complex subjects.

Don’t interrupt . When you cut people off, you not only interrupt their train of thought but you also risk misunderstanding the point they were trying to make. In addition, if you’re formulating your next sentence while the other person is still talking, you’re not completely listening.

Withhold judgment . If you know you disagree with someone, you might find yourself mentally discrediting their words as they speak. But it’s best to listen with an open mind. Don’t immediately criticize or assign blame while they’re talking. Make a real effort to understand where they’re coming from.

Let the other person know you’re listening . Non-verbal cues, such as maintaining eye contact, a head nod, and verbal cues, such as a quick “uh-huh,” let the other person know they have your attention. You’re essentially inviting them to continue. If you appear to be daydreaming or thinking about something else, the speaker might take that as a sign that you don’t care.

[Read: Effective Communication]

Provide feedback . If you think you might’ve misheard or misunderstood something, pose a few follow-up questions. The person can then clarify their point if necessary.

Listening isn’t just about receiving verbal messages. People also convey information about their emotional state through nonverbal body cues. The ability to read body language is useful in all sorts of social situations.

Perhaps you have a friend who frequently says, “I’m doing OK,” but you can tell by their sullen expression that something is wrong. Or maybe you can gauge a date’s interest in you based on their level of eye contact.

People often convey messages through:

• Facial expression . Frowns, grins, hesitant smiles, and other facial expressions can convey mood.
• Eye contact . A person’s eyes might be aimed at whatever they’re focused on. Wide eyes can convey excitement. Drooping lids might imply that the person is tired or calm.
• Voice . A person’s vocal tone can tell you if they’re joking or being serious. The speed at which they talk can convey confidence or nervousness.
• Posture . Stiff, tense shoulders might indicate apprehension. Relaxed shoulders and a slouching posture might be a sign that the person is at ease or bored.
• Gestures . Lack of hand gestures may indicate shyness or discomfort. Someone who’s feeling relaxed and friendly might use their hands more. The speed and intensity of the gestures can also convey aggression or excitement.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Reading body language can be tricky. Not everyone uses the exact same nonverbal cues. And certain cues can mean multiple things. For example, is a person tapping their finger on the table because they’re feeling impatient or because they’re enjoying the song playing in the background? Here’s what to consider when trying to understand someone’s body language:

Look for consistency . Nonverbal cues should match what the other person is saying. If your spouse says they’re anxious, their fidgeting or furrowed brow might reinforce this message. In situations where body language doesn’t match what’s being said, you might need to make more of an effort to understand how the other person is feeling.

Don’t read too much into individual cues . If you focus too much on any one cue, you’re likely to misunderstand the other person. For example, just because a person is looking away from you doesn’t mean they’re disinterested. They might simply be gathering their thoughts. When reading body language, look at multiple cues to gain a more complete understanding.

Being aware of your own body language

Remember that your nonverbal cues are also conveying messages to people around you. If you’re sitting with your arms crossed and looking away from the other person, they might take that as a sign that you don’t want to talk.

If you want to encourage the person to engage with you, use positive cues, such as a gentle smile and relaxed eye contact, to project warmth. Learning ways to manage stress can help you avoid unconscious negative cues, such as frowning and holding a rigid posture.

Being empathetic requires you to make yourself vulnerable. When you hide behind an air of indifference, you make it harder for other people to trust or understand you. You also hold yourself back from feeling and understanding the full range of other people’s emotions. Here are some tips on opening up:

Reframe how you think of vulnerability . Maybe you’ve been taught that it’s a sign of weakness. Opening up to others—trusting them to listen and accept you and your flaws—requires courage.

Speak up . Tell your loved ones how you’re truly feeling. This requires you to reflect on your own emotional state as well as practice being open with others. Be prepared to accept and communicate intense emotions, including shame, jealousy, and grief . The more you talk about emotions, the more comfortable you’ll become. You’ll also notice that other people will be more willing to open up to you in return.

Say what you need . Make a habit of vocalizing your needs. Do you need someone to vent to? Or maybe you need physical help with something. Talking about your needs is healthier than suffering in silence. Not only does it make your life easier, but it also makes your loved ones feel trusted and needed.

Ease into it . If you have a hard time talking about your emotions or voicing your needs, just take things one step at a time. Maybe you can tell your friend about something that frustrated you about your workday. You can also tell them about parts of your day that made you feel excited and joyful. Or start by making a small request of your partner: “Can we go for a walk together this evening? Walking helps me feel less stressed.”

Don’t dwell too much on your reputation or perfection . If you’re overly focused on how other people perceive you, you might hesitate to be forthcoming. Maybe you feel you need to put up a facade to appear strong and unbothered. Try to let go of that idea and begin to embrace your imperfections. Being honest will draw you closer to the people who matter.

Emotional intelligence (sometimes called emotional quotient or EQ) is your ability to identify emotions and use them in ways that improve your life. For example, someone with high EQ knows how to relieve their own stress as well as deescalate heated arguments. EQ also enhances your ability to empathize with others, since it involves recognizing and understanding their emotions.

Emotional intelligence is often defined by four attributes: self-management, self-awareness, social awareness, and relationship management. Here are tips for building on each one:

Improve self-management by learning ways to cope with stress . Stress can make it difficult for you to be present, impairing your ability to assess emotions and social situations. So, learning a few stress-relieving strategies is an important step in enhancing your EQ. Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to help you stay calm in the moment. Other practices, including exercise and meditation , are actions you can take each day to lower your overall stress.

Heighten self-awareness with mindfulness practices . Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment but withholding judgment. You can use this to connect with and accept whatever emotions you’re currently feeling. Are you upset? Are you anxious? Rather than label these emotions as “bad” or “negative,” foster curiosity about them. What caused them? What do they physically feel like? Are they affecting your interactions with others? In addition to making you more self-aware, this practice can improve your ability to process emotions and increase emotional well-being.

[Read: Emotional Intelligence Toolkit]

Increase social awareness by focusing on other people . Mindfulness can help you with this task as well. Aim to be present with whoever you’re interacting with. What’s their body language like? Is there a topic they keep circling back to? Connect this social awareness to your self-awareness. Is the person saying or doing anything that is stirring your emotions? Maybe their body language is putting you at ease. Or maybe they’re saying something that makes you anxious.

Use conflict resolution skills to manage relationships . Even when you’re interacting with your best friend or closest family member, disagreements are bound to arise. You might have differing opinions on politics. Or perhaps your plans for a joint vacation don’t match up. Maybe one of you accidentally offends the other. Knowing how to pick your battles, compromise, and practice forgiveness can help you navigate these inevitable conflicts.

People are more likely to feel empathy toward people who are similar to them. You might feel more inclined to empathize with and help someone who looks like you, behaves like you, shares your goals, or experiences similar hardships. Unfortunately, this can lead to empathy biases when it comes to differences in factors like race, religion, or culture. Here are a few ways to counter that.

Actively expose yourself to new perspectives . If you’re an atheist, attend a religious ceremony. If you’re politically conservative, listen to podcasts that present a liberal perspective. If you’re used to city life, spend some time in rural communities. Look for common ground, but also acknowledge differences. You don’t necessarily have to agree with every perspective you come across. However, taking the time to simply listen with an open mind can help you see the humanity in people with different backgrounds or views.

Enjoy fiction . Even engaging with the perspectives of fictional characters can enhance your empathy. As you read a novel, you try to understand a character’s motives, goals, and emotional states. In other words, you’re exercising your ability to empathize. The same is true whenever you watch a character-driven television show or movie. Consider embracing novels, movies, and other works of art made by people from different cultural backgrounds. For example, if you’re white, read more books by Latino authors.

Be willing to question your assumptions . As you engage with people of different backgrounds, you’ll likely find that many of your earlier notions of them were inaccurate. It’s okay to admit to being wrong. Frame it as a learning experience. You can also begin to question your assumptions in daily situations. Perhaps your friend has a good reason for running late. Maybe that taxi driver was rude because he was under heavy stress. Practice using “what-ifs” to consider other perspectives.

It’s true that building empathy is a way to expand your social circle and boost your happiness. But don’t overlook the benefits it has for the people you encounter as well. Empathy can have a ripple effect. As you take the time to truly listen to others, you’re providing them with some level of emotional comfort. And it’s possible that you’re making it easier for them to trust, comfort, and empathize with even more people.

More Information

• Five Ways Empathy Is Good for Your Health - Focusing on others is important for them, but can also be good for you. (Psychology Today)
• Can I Have Empathy If I Am Autistic? - People with ASD can experience empathy—sometimes overwhelmingly. (Psychology Today)
• Want to feel more connected? Practice empathy - Three ways to practice empathy. (Harvard Health Publishing)
• Andersen, F. A., Johansen, A.-S. B., Søndergaard, J., Andersen, C. M., & Assing Hvidt, E. (2020). Revisiting the trajectory of medical students’ empathy, and impact of gender, specialty preferences and nationality: A systematic review. BMC Medical Education , 20(1), 52. Link
• Baskin-Sommers, A., Krusemark, E., & Ronningstam, E. (2014). Empathy in narcissistic personality disorder: From clinical and empirical perspectives. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment , 5(3), 323–333. Link
• Christov-Moore, L., & Iacoboni, M. (2019). Sex differences in somatomotor representations of others’ pain: A permutation-based analysis. Brain Structure and Function, 224(2), 937–947. Link
• Cultivating empathy . (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2022, from Link
• Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Very Happy People. Psychological Science , 13(1), 81–84. Link
• Fletcher-Watson, S., & Bird, G. (2020). Autism and empathy: What are the real links? Autism , 24(1), 3–6. Link
• Healey, M. L., & Grossman, M. (2018). Cognitive and Affective Perspective-Taking: Evidence for Shared and Dissociable Anatomical Substrates. Frontiers in Neurology , 9, 491. Link
• Hojat, M., Vergare, M. J., Maxwell, K., Brainard, G., Herrine, S. K., Isenberg, G. A., Veloski, J., & Gonnella, J. S. (2009). The Devil is in the Third Year: A Longitudinal Study of Erosion of Empathy in Medical School: Academic Medicine , 84(9), 1182–1191. Link
• Kajonius, P. J., & Björkman, T. (2020). Individuals with dark traits have the ability but not the disposition to empathize. Personality and Individual Differences , 155, 109716. Link
• Kanske, P., Böckler, A., Trautwein, F.-M., Parianen Lesemann, F. H., & Singer, T. (2016). Are strong empathizers better mentalizers? Evidence for independence and interaction between the routes of social cognition. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience , 11(9), 1383–1392. Link
• Niedtfeld, I. (2017). Experimental investigation of cognitive and affective empathy in borderline personality disorder: Effects of ambiguity in multimodal social information processing. Psychiatry Research , 253, 58–63. Link
• Nunes, P., Williams, S., Sa, B., & Stevenson, K. (2011). A study of empathy decline in students from five health disciplines during their first year of training. International Journal of Medical Education , 2, 12–17. Link
• Riess, H. (2017). The Science of Empathy. Journal of Patient Experience , 4(2), 74–77. Link
• the iPSYCH-Broad autism group, the 23andMe Research Team, Warrier, V., Toro, R., Chakrabarti, B., Børglum, A. D., Grove, J., Hinds, D. A., Bourgeron, T., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2018). Genome-wide analyses of self-reported empathy: Correlations with autism, schizophrenia, and anorexia nervosa. Translational Psychiatry , 8(1), 35. Link
• Wagaman, M. A., Geiger, J. M., Shockley, C., & Segal, E. A. (2015). The Role of Empathy in Burnout, Compassion Satisfaction, and Secondary Traumatic Stress among Social Workers. Social Work , 60(3), 201–209. Link
• When watching others in pain, women’s brains show more empathy | UCLA . (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2022, from Link
• Women more likely than men to say they feel empathy for the suffering | Pew Research Center . (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2022, from Link
• Wu, R., Liu, L.-L., Zhu, H., Su, W.-J., Cao, Z.-Y., Zhong, S.-Y., Liu, X.-H., & Jiang, C.-L. (2019). Brief Mindfulness Meditation Improves Emotion Processing. Frontiers in Neuroscience , 13, 1074. Link

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Mike Robbins

Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation

Why Empathy is Important: How to Become More Empathetic

February 5, 2021 24 Comments

As an executive coach and consultant, my clients often ask me why empathy is so important.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines empathy as:

The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

Do you know why empathy is important, or what it is?

Here is Why Empathy is Important

Empathy is one of the most important aspects of creating strong relationships, reducing stress, and enhancing emotional awareness – yet it can be tricky at times.

For example, how can you be empathetic towards people you may not necessarily agree with?

I consider myself to be an empathetic person, but I notice that with certain people and in particular situations, my natural ability and desire to empathize can be diminished or almost non-existent, especially these days.

But there are so many benefits to empathy that most people aren’t even aware of. For example, I also notice that when I feel empathy for others and for myself, I feel a sense of peace, connection, and perspective that I like. And, when there is an absence of empathy in a particular relationship, situation, or in how I’m relating to myself, I often experience stress, disconnection, and negativity.

Can you relate?

Never underestimate the power of empathy.

But what is empathy anyway?

It’s important to understand that empathy is not sympathy.

When we’re sympathetic, we often pity someone else but maintain our distance (physically, mentally, and emotionally) from their feelings or experience.

Empathy is more a sense that we can truly understand, relate to, or imagine the depth of another person’s emotional state or situation.

It implies feeling with a person, rather than feeling sorry for a person.

Empathy is a translation of the German term Einfühlung , meaning “to feel as one with.” It implies sharing the load, or “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes,” in order to understand that person’s perspective.

The Benefits of Empathy

Another reason why empathy is so important is that it’s one of the best ways we can enhance our relationships, reduce our stress levels, and feel good about ourselves and our lives in an authentic way. Here are a few more benefits of empathy:

• Benefits your health (less stress and less negativity which leads people to be in better shape with stronger immune systems)
• Leads to a happier life
• Improves communications skills
• Leads to teamwork
• Creates a healthy work environment
• Transcends personal relationships
• Decreases negativity

Why Do People Lack Empathy?

There are a number of things that get in the way of us utilizing and experiencing the power of empathy. Three of the main ones, which are all interrelated, are as follows:

1. Feeling Threatened

We often feel “threatened” based on our own fears, projections, and past experiences – not by what is actually happening in the moment or in a particular relationship or situation. Whether the threat is “real” or “imagined,” when we feel threatened in any way, it often shuts down our ability to experience empathy.

2. Being Judgmental

Being judgmental is a totally different game than making value judgments (what to wear, what to eat, what to say, etc.).

When we’re judgmental, we decide that we’re “right” and someone else is “wrong.” Doing this hurts us and others and it cuts us off from those around us. When we’re being judgmental about another person, group of people, or situation, we significantly diminish our capacity to be empathetic.

Can you guess the root of all of this?

It’s our fear.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with fear, it’s a natural human emotion – which, in fact, has many positive aspects to it, if we’re willing to admit it, own it, express it, and move through it. Fear saves our lives and keeps us out of trouble all the time.

The issue with fear is our denial of it. We deem things, people, or situations to be “scary,” when in truth there is nothing in life that is inherently “scary.” When we allow ourselves to be motivated by fear – which often leads to us defending ourselves against “threats,” being judgmental, and more – it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to access the power of empathy.

On my podcast , I often talk about the importance of embracing our emotions. The more willing we are to look at our fear, acknowledge it, embrace it, own it, and take responsibility for it, the more able we are to expand our capacity for empathy.

Signs That Someone Lacks Empathy

Here are some signs that someone lacks empathy.

• Highly critical of others
• Unable to control emotions
• Unaware of other people’s feelings
• Accuses people of being overly sensitive
• Overreacts to small things
• Won’t admit when wrong
• Behaves insensitively
• Has trouble maintaining relationships
• Can’t handle uncomfortable situations
• Sees perceived slights everywhere

The reason why empathy is so important is that it helps us better understand how others are feeling, and even feel it in ourselves. It helps us maintain relationships and plays a role in dictating our success in both personal and professional relationships.

A lack of empathy can also be a trait of personality disorders like narcissism or antisocial personality disorder.

People may lack empathy due to the environment they were raised in. They may have grown up with parents who could not regulate their emotions and showed very little compassion towards them. They may have also experienced difficult situations in life that caused them to lack empathy and behave the way they do.

How to Become More Empathetic

Here are a few things you can do and think about to become more empathetic:

1. Be Real About How You Feel

When we’re in a conflict with another person or dealing with someone or something that’s challenging for us, being able to admit, own, and express our fear, insecurity, sadness, anger, jealousy, or whatever other “negative” emotions we are experiencing, is one of the best ways for us to move past our defensiveness and authentically address the deeper issues of the situation.

Doing this allows us to access empathy for ourselves, the other person or people involved, and even the circumstances of the conflict or challenge itself. Check out this blog post for tips on how to resolve conflict.

2. Imagine What It’s Like For Them

While it can sometimes be difficult for us to “understand” another person’s perspective or situation, being able to imagine what it must be like for them is an essential aspect of empathy.

The more willing we are to imagine what it’s like for them, the more compassion, understanding, and empathy we’ll be able to experience.

In today’s uncertain political climate and the many stresses that come with a pandemic, it is more important now than ever before to use compassion every day. You can learn more about the importance of compassion here.

My most recent book, We’re All in This Together , helps leaders become more compassionate with their team members by giving them a roadmap for building trust, collaborating, and operating at a peak level. Learn more about the book here .

3. Forgive Yourself and Others

In another one of my books, Nothing Changes Until You Do , I talk about the complicated relationship we all have with ourselves and the struggle many of us have to be kind, compassionate, and loving towards ourselves. Forgiveness is one of the most important things we can do in life to heal ourselves, let go of negativity, and live a life of peace and fulfillment. Forgiveness has to first start with us.

I believe that all judgment is self-judgment. When we forgive ourselves, we create the conditions and perspective to forgive others.

Forgiveness is one of the many important aspects of life that is often easier said than done. It is something we need to learn about and practice all the time.

One of the best books you can read on this subject is called Forgive For Good , written by my friend and mentor Dr. Fred Luskin, one of the world’s leading experts and teachers about the power of forgiveness. This book gives you practical and tangible techniques you can use to forgive anyone and anything.

The more willing we are to forgive ourselves and others (and continue to practice this in an ongoing way), the more able we’ll be to empathize authentically.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• How empathetic are you?
• What can you do to enhance your capacity for empathy?
• How would an increased ability to empathize with others (and yourself) impact your life and relationships?
• Where in your life and relationships can you see that feeling threatened, being judgmental, and experiencing fear stop you from being empathetic?

Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, and more in the comments section below.

I have written five books about, among other things, the importance of empathy, authenticity, and appreciation. I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) that empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more engaged and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today.

This article was originally published on October 13, 2010, and has been updated for 2021.

Related posts:

• We’re All Doing the Best We Can
• Why Do We Judge Others?
• The Trap of Comparison with Others
• The Power of Empathy

Reader Interactions

October 14, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Several so called friends last year told me one day that I got on their nerves because I was laughing and acting silly and had no idea I was “getting on their nerves”. At the time I didn’t get it because I didn’t think my laughing was inappropriate under the cirucmstances. Now I see that they probably weren’t allowed to be a child and play when they were growing up which I can fully relate with. Someone probably told them they got on their nerves when they were having fun. The idea that all judgement is self judgement makes sense to me. If I got on their nerves, they must get on their own nerves too.

February 5, 2021 at 11:24 am

Sorry to hear about this…although it sounds like you have a great perspective about it.

October 15, 2010 at 8:26 am

In my humble opinion, empathy is useful in bonding with someone.

Compassion is a higher state of awareness, however.

With empathy, we can take on and fully experience the anger of someone who has been wronged or violated. Empathy may also keep us in a loop of victimhood, separation, righteous indignation or just simply keep our hearts closed to transformation.

With compassion, we go beyond feeling empathetically what someone else feels, seeing through the present situation with unconditional love, kindness and understanding.

We can understand someone’s feelings and response while still keeping our hearts open to the Highest Good for all without getting caught up in the story.

So, inherent in compassion is also forgiveness.

Beautiful topic, Mike. Thank you.

February 5, 2021 at 11:20 am

You are welcome. Yes, Empathy and Compassion are both so important, especially these days.

October 21, 2010 at 11:42 am

Great post, I was speaking to a friend of mine last night about empathy and sent him this post, I believe it will help give him clarity that he needs, very well written! I’ve found my own empathy to be crucial in being able to perform as a musician… now I’m learning to use my empathy to help “raise the vibe” of people I communicate with… instead of being judgmental I am seeking to observe, to understand… I believe the only way to inspire lasting change is to lead by example, to encourage instead of blame, to work with people instead of against them… of course this can be more challenging in some circumstances than in others, but I find by focusing on this my integrity and sense of my true self remain intact. Continue to spread your joyful wisdom!

Peace and Blessings!

February 5, 2021 at 11:21 am

I appreciate you reading this post, your comment, and you sharing it with someone in your life.

December 27, 2019 at 6:53 pm

Hi Mike your explanation on the word empay is well understood. True talk.

January 28, 2021 at 8:14 am

Hello Mike, thanks for this wonderful write-up on empathy. it’s very simple to understanding. God bless you for posting. I will be grateful if you can throw more light on “How to Express Empathy and How to Develop Empathy”. Thanks.

Thanks John! Listening and asking questions are ways to express empathy. Meditation and journaling are ways to develop more empathy. It takes real commitment and intention.

February 6, 2021 at 7:41 am

Thanks Mike. Regarding traits of those who lack empathy, I see these in my 17 year-old son which surprise me at times, given his upbringing. Can you share insight from a developmental perspective? Thank you!

April 5, 2021 at 8:10 am

You are welcome. Thanks for reading this piece and for your comment. I hear you about your son…it can be challenging when we see a lack of empathy at times in the people we love, especially our children. Teenagers go through stages and can often be quite critical and self-absorbed, which they often grow out of. The pandemic has been especially brutal for our teens. Have empathy for him and give him time.

April 4, 2021 at 9:04 pm

While I agree it is important to have cognitive empathy, as to understand intellectually what another is going through, I do not understand the need for emotive empathy.

Unless it is a person who I have a connection with, I believe having emotive empathy with every person and standing in solidarity with everyone is a complete antithesis of reason and the rationality which is often required to make the serious decisions required by society.

Finally I take issue with emotive empathy towards others I do not know, as empathy is a two way street, and I feel there is absolutely no reason to allow others I do not know to make an empathetic connection with me.

April 5, 2021 at 8:13 am

Thanks! Empathy is an emotional response to the vulnerability, pain, and/or experience of another human being (or group of human beings). It is not necessary to have a personal relationship with someone to feel empathy for them. Have you ever cried watching a movie based on the suffering of another person? The natural human response to vulnerability is empathy…and, given the state of our country and our world right now, clearly we could use more empathy.

April 28, 2021 at 5:38 pm

I just realized that I lack empathy… Somehow this post helped me to understand why I’m like this & need to change. After a few incidents I just shut myself out & became weird. Took me long enough to finally understand it after losing those important to me.

August 23, 2021 at 9:08 am

MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT WSA JUST CREDITED WITH $20,000 BY FABULOUSHACKERS.COM

January 26, 2022 at 2:06 am

Great article although im confusedyou said in the first paragraph how important empathy is but in the next paragraph you say that with certain people and situations you have no empathy, please can u explain why as i feel this all the time Regards Nathan

March 21, 2022 at 12:30 am

I’m also confused with the thing Nathan pointed out…

June 12, 2022 at 8:38 pm

Very good article, very useful. Thank you

January 9, 2023 at 11:30 pm

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions and feelings of the other people. It is also related to kindness and gratitude. There are various benefits of empathy. I would recommend you to read this article to know more about it. https://theoneliner.in/4-benefits-of-empathy-you-never-knew-before/

April 9, 2023 at 4:43 am

Good article thank you. I am curious to know why you use the word empathetic rather than empathic. Empathic is the word used years ago to indicate someone with empathy whereas empathetic is newer and for me indicates manufacturing empathy rather than it being a natural ability you have. Is that why you are using it?

April 13, 2023 at 7:32 am

Hi Thanks for this! My take is that while empathy is a useful emotion, if not managed carefully, it poses quite a few dangers. This article may help bring some much needed balance to the topic of empathy: https://unpopularpsychology.substack.com/p/the-8-dangers-of-empathy

January 10, 2024 at 2:33 am

This blog beautifully explains empathy’s impact on our daily lives. Empathy is needed everywhere: in relationships, depression, and all other situations. They tell us to practice being empathetic in our lives. It also lists the different strategies and methods to become empathetic. It creates an emotional awareness among us. Enhance yourself about knowing empathy in detail at https://yourmentalhealthpal.com/how-to-listen-without-giving-advice/ .

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Empathy Essay | Essay on Empathy for Students and Children in English

February 13, 2024 by Prasanna

Empathy Essay:  Empathy is the ability to understand an individual emotionally. It is the ability to understand what the other person feels. It is seeing things from their point of view. It is putting yourself in someone else’s position. It is the capability of imagining how someone else might be feeling.

You can also find more  Essay Writing  articles on events, persons, sports, technology and many more.

Long and Short Essays on Empathy for Students and Kids in English

We are providing the students with essay samples on a long essay of 500 words in English and a short essay of 150 words on Empathy in English.

Long Essay on Empathy 500 Words in English

Long Essay on Empathy is usually given to classes 7, 8, 9, and 10.

Empathy is a highly valued trait and is essential for social interactions. Empathy is the ability to understand a person’s emotions and feelings. It is an essential component for both professional as well as personal lives. It is the ability or trait to understand other people’s values, beliefs and cultures.

Empathy is the power of connection. It is a sensation of experiencing what the other person is going through. It is seen as a cognitive ability—a trait to imagine future scenarios or solve problems based on past experiences. Empathy makes an individual capable of creating a psychic and emotional connection with another person. It enables a person to enter into another individual’s mindscape. If a person feels connected to another person’s mindset, it is impossible to mistreat them, except unintentionally. A person gets to recoil from their experience of suffering in the same way of recoiling for their individual suffering. It brings a sense of desire to aid the person suffering.

There are several states of empathy which include, cognitive empathy, affective empathy and somatic empathy. Cognitive empathy is the capability to understand another person’s mental state. Affective empathy is also known as emotional empathy. It is the ability of a person to respond with an appropriate emotion to another person’s mental state. Somatic empathy is based on the physical reaction of an individual. It is based on mirror neuron responses.

Empathy manifests in education as well in between teachers and students. Empathy becomes difficult when there are differences between people regarding culture, language, skin colour, gender and age. Empathy is considered as a motivating factor for unselfish behaviour. Lack of empathy is similar to antisocial behaviour. Empathy develops deep roots in our brains, as our evolutionary history. Having empathy does not mean that a person is willing to help someone. It is an essential step toward compassionate action.

Empathy forms one of the most critical components of creating harmonious relationships. It reduces stress and enhances emotional awareness. People are well attuned to their feelings and emotions. Getting into someone’s head can be challenging at times. People tend to be empathetic when they listen to what others have to say. It makes an individual overwhelmed by tragic incidents. Empathy can make an individual concerned about the well-being of another individual.

Empathy helps to make an individual a better person. By understanding what people are thinking and feeling, people can respond appropriately. Social connections build up as a result of empathy. It helps in both physical and psychological well-being. Empathizing with others helps to regulate a person’s own emotions. It helps an individual to manage his feelings even at times of great stress.

Empathy helps a person to engage themselves in helpful behaviours. Not everyone experiences empathy. Some people may be more naturally empathetic than others. How a person perceives another person can influence empathy to a great extent. Being empathetic towards others will help to understand other’s suffering and create harmony in the world.

Short Essay on Empathy 150 Words in English

Short Essay on Empathy is usually given to classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Empathy is a trait where an individual experiences an emotional response to another person’s sufferings. It is very different from sympathy. It is walking in someone else’s shoes and sharing their feelings. Feeling heard by someone and understood is one of the human needs everyone deserves to be understood. Empathy helps an individual to get in touch with his or her feelings and gives him or her emotional understanding of themselves and other people.

Empathy can be learned and practised. It is a vital aspect of our everyday lives. It enables an individual to show compassion. It helps to relate to other people, relatives, colleagues, loved ones and helps to impact the world in a positive way. Some people are born with empathy while some learn it and can increase or decrease it. It is a part of the emotional intelligence, which can be taught to the children at a very early stage. Children can be taught to be empathetic by sharing their things and not hurting others.

10 Lines on Empathy in English

• In the absence of empathy, relationships remain shallow.
• Empathy does not form a part of intuition; it is about understanding others.
• Empathy is basically a learned behaviour.
• The capacity of being empathetic to another person depends on each individual.
• Empathetic people tend to help others more.
• Painkillers can reduce your capacity of being empathetic towards other people.
• Anxiety and tension can influence empathy to a great extent.
• An individual can heighten their empathy through meditation.
• All humans are inclined towards empathizing others in their pain and sufferings.
• A genetic defect can reduce an individual’s empathy.

FAQ’s on Empathy Essay

Question 1. What is too much empathy, called?

Answer: Too much empathy is known as Hyper-empathy. Having too much empathy can lead a person to burn out.

Question 2. What can cause a person to have a lack of empathy?

Answer: Lack of empathy can be caused due to narcissism, antisocial- personality and its disorders, a genetic defect or even psychopathy.

Question 3. How can you overcome Hyper-empathy?

Answer: Hyper-empathy can be overcome by shifting the feeling of empathy to a skill. Making the mind clear that empathy is not behaviour; it forms a part of a skill. Setting clear boundaries and taking everything in a light manner can reduce a person from being too much empathetic about someone.

Question 4.  Does lack of empathy lead to autism?

Answer: No, it does not lead to autism.

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Essay on Empathy

Students are often asked to write an essay on Empathy in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Empathy

Understanding empathy.

Empathy is feeling what others feel. It’s like stepping into someone’s shoes and understanding their emotions. Empathy helps us connect with others.

Why is Empathy Important?

Empathy in everyday life.

We use empathy every day. When a friend is sad, we feel their sorrow. This understanding helps us be supportive.

Developing Empathy

We can develop empathy by listening and observing others. Remember, it’s about understanding, not agreeing. Practice empathy to grow as a person.

250 Words Essay on Empathy

Empathy, a fundamental aspect of human connection, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a cognitive attribute, allowing us to perceive the world from another’s perspective. It’s not merely about feeling the same emotions, but comprehending the emotional state of another, without losing the distinction between self and other.

The Types of Empathy

Empathy manifests in three primary forms: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. Cognitive empathy refers to understanding someone’s thoughts and emotions, acting as a bridge for communication. Emotional empathy, on the other hand, involves sharing the feelings of others, often leading to a deep emotional connection. Compassionate empathy, the most actionable, combines understanding and feeling to drive us to help, if possible.

Empathy and Society

Empathy plays a pivotal role in society. It fosters tolerance, understanding, and mutual respect, acting as the glue that holds diverse communities together. Without empathy, societies would struggle to function harmoniously, leading to a rise in conflict and misunderstanding.

The Neurobiology of Empathy

Recent research in neuroscience has discovered the existence of ‘mirror neurons,’ cells in the brain that activate both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action. This discovery has provided a biological basis for empathy, highlighting its inherent role in our lives.

500 Words Essay on Empathy

Introduction to empathy.

Empathy, a complex psychological phenomenon, is a fundamental aspect of human interaction. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, a bridge between self and others. Empathy allows us to perceive the world not only from our perspective but also from the viewpoint of other individuals.

The Two Dimensions of Empathy

Empathy is broadly divided into two dimensions: affective and cognitive. Affective empathy refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to others’ emotions. It’s the ability to respond emotionally to another’s psychological state. Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, involves understanding others’ emotions from a more intellectual perspective. It’s the ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions.

The Role of Empathy in Society

Empathy plays a crucial role in society. By fostering understanding and compassion, it helps build strong and healthy relationships. It’s the foundation of effective communication, conflict resolution, and cooperation. Empathy is also a key aspect of leadership as it helps leaders understand and address the needs and concerns of their team members.

Empathy and Moral Development

Empathy is closely linked to moral development. It is the emotional response that propels us towards altruistic behavior. Empathy encourages us to act in ways that benefit others, even at a cost to ourselves. It is the driving force behind acts of kindness and compassion, shaping our moral decisions and ethical conduct.

Empathy in the Digital Age

In the digital age, empathy is more important than ever. With the rise of virtual communication, understanding and sharing the feelings of others can be challenging. However, empathy can help bridge this gap. It can help us navigate the complex digital landscape, fostering meaningful connections and promoting positive online interactions.

Empathy: A Skill to be Cultivated

In conclusion, empathy is a vital human capacity that enables us to understand and share the feelings of others. It plays a crucial role in our interpersonal relationships, moral development, and societal harmony. In the digital age, cultivating empathy is more important than ever. By enhancing our empathic abilities, we can foster a more understanding and compassionate society.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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How to Write an Empathy Essay

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Article structure

Empathy Essay

What are the main features of empathy essay, how to start an empathy essay: tips on how to start, how to create an outline: outline structure, how to write a thesis for an empathy essay, how to write an introduction, how to write body paragraphs: tips on body writing, how to finish an empathy essay: tips on conclusion writing, tips on revision, empathy essay sample.

Have you ever felt sad or experienced difficulty that your colleagues go through as well as having the emotional feelings? Well, you have empathy towards others. However, can you express such empathy in an essay? Empathy essay elaborates on the aptitude that detects on the feelings of other people and emotional experience of the essay writer .

When writing such a paper, you should consider the following features:

• The essay should be in first person narration .
• It has an empathic task especially the understanding of the thought of the character in a situation.
• It should have facts and feelings.
• It should be comprehensive with writers giving more information about a character.
• This paper should have the proper interpretation of the reaction of the character (content about the feeling of the character).
• Use the style and language of the character such as the use of slang, form or informal as well as colloquial.
• Identify the feeling of the character about the subject and those of other characters.
• Identify special words to use in the essay.
• Prepare relevant quotations for the main characters or important ideas.
• Use the first person narration.
• Apply adjectives in writing and give an honest thought as the character speaks or thinks.

INTRODUCTION

• Provide a thematic subject.
• Highlight the first aspect of the subject.
• Highlight the second aspect of thematic subject.
• Highlight third aspect of thematic subject.
• Give reason/thesis statement for choosing the specific number of characters as example to the point.

First character

• Reason for selecting the character to demonstrate the theme.
• How the character shows thematic point of view.
• How the person illustrates the second thematic subject.
• How the person illustrates the third thematic subject.
• Summary of the way the character elaborates your point.

Second character

Third character

• Reason for selecting the character to demonstrate the theme

CONCLUSION (Summary paragraph)

• Provide the synthesis of the essay in a different way.
• Synthesize the first subtopic.
• Synthesize the second subtopic.
• Synthesize the third subtopic.
• Final statement

When writing a thesis statement, the writer should give a specific claim that supports his or her empathy. Besides, you should present the subject, your position and reason for defending the position. Furthermore, you should provide the number of thematic points or characters in the essay. Lastly, the statement should appear at the end of the introduction.

The introduction should begin with an engaging statement that reveals a thematic subject or point. The writer author follows in with the aspects of the thematic position in the order as they will appear in the body. Lastly, thesis statement appears at the last part of the introduction.

The following are the tips for writing body paragraphs of an empathy essay:

• Provide a clear topic sentence for each character elaborating on thematic point for every paragraph.
• Give specific evidence to support the point.
• Provide examples on how the character illustrate the thematic point.
• Provide a summary on how the character demonstrates the point.
• Use transitions between the sentences and the paragraphs.
• Provide an overview of the essay.
• Synthesize the thematic points in the body paragraphs as viewed by different characters.
• Provide the final statement and direction to the reader.

After completing empathy essays, students should

• Read the essay aloud and correct the mistakes within the paper.
• Invite a family member, a schoolmate or a friend to read the paper and identify the simple mistakes.
• Follow the instruction of the tutor regarding the format.
• Run the essay in Grammarly software to correct grammar mistakes, spelling errors, spacing errors and misused vocabularies before turn it in.

Mr. Robson:

“Don’t ever dare to come near my family! Crank. You think you can divert my attention and pay attention to your yappy mouth? Love! What about it? You moron get lost!”

Mrs. Robson:

“My dear I beg your pardon. He just wanted to express his opinion. However, his thoughts of meeting you have lowered your social status. Please, can we accord him a chance? Young men of today take time to learn etiquette and need some time to appreciate the elderly. Do you recall when you first approached my dad concerning our courtship? Well, it was a hell you went through.”

“Father, I hate, but I just have to admit that you don’t mean good for my courtship. I have dated Thompson for half a year, we’ve been in college for three years, and I am 26. Dad can I have some peace of mind?”

“Indeed Sheila is right Father. However, she ought to have notified your mood before allowing Thompson to speak out his mind. Meanwhile, I appreciate your concern as a father who wants the best for his family. For now, I will rest my thoughts with your opinion until you permit Sheila to plan her wedding. Goodbye.”

“Sorry sir I never intended to hurt your feeling, but I felt it right to inform you of my plans. However, I need no rush into wedding plans without your blessings. But, it will be a death warrant if I hurt her feelings! She loves her life, and I am exactly that! Will you lose her for good?”

After all, marriage is sacred, and everybody has a right to start a family. Robson won nothing.

40 Ways To Write About Empathy

Great characters either lack empathy or have loads of it. In this post, we have included things for you to consider when you write about empathy . 

One of our most popular posts on Writers Write is  37 Ways To Write About Anger . We thought we would look at interesting ways to write about other emotions, including love  and  fear  and  happiness and grief .

In this post, we discuss ways to write about empathy .

A. What Is Empathy?

According to Psychology Today : ‘Empathy is the ability to recognise, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or fictional character. Developing empathy is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. It involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, and enables prosocial or helping behaviours that come from within, rather than being forced.’

Empathy is stronger than sympathy. As Merriam-Webster explains: ‘Empathy is similar to sympathy, but empathy usually suggests stronger, more instinctive feeling. So a person who feels sympathy, or pity, for victims of a war in Asia may feel empathy for a close friend going through the much smaller disaster of a divorce.’

Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in another person’s shoes.

B. Three Types Of Empathy

According to psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman, there are three types of empathy :

• Cognitive Empathy : This is the ability to understand how another person feels and thinks.
• Emotional Empathy : This is the ability to feel for another person. It is also known as affective empathy.
• Compassionate Empathy : This is the ability to take your understanding and feelings and be moved to act and to help another person if you can. This is also known as empathic concern.

You can decide how empathetic your character really is when you write about them.

How To Tell If Someone Has Empathy:

• They are not judgemental
• They react rationally and calmly.
• They are sensitive to other people’s feelings.
• They take responsibility for their actions.
• They care about how other people feel.
• They don’t overreact.
• They can maintain relationships.
• They are capable of paying attention and listening to others.
• They behave appropriately in sensitive situations.

C. How To Tell If Someone Lacks Empathy

• They are highly critical of other people.
• They have frequent angry outbursts.
• They accuse other people of being overly sensitive.
• They blame other people for their mistakes.
• They seem unaware of, and not able to care about, other people’s feelings.
• They overreact if they are upset.
• They are unable to sustain a relationship.
• They don’t listen when you speak to them.
• They behave inappropriately in sensitive situations.

If people lack empathy they can be classified with narcissistic or anti-social personality disorders. There is often not a lot you can do to help people like this. It is important to remember that their behaviour is not your fault, and that they will not change. There is nothing you can do to make them feel something they are incapable of feeling.

According to Wikipedia :

• Psychopathy and narcissism are associated with impairments in emotional but not cognitive empathy.
• Bipolar disorder and borderline traits are associated with deficits in cognitive but not emotional empathy.
• Autism spectrum disorders are associated with various combinations, including deficits in cognitive empathy as well as deficits in both cognitive and emotional empathy.
• Schizophrenia has been associated with varying deficits in both types of empathy.

If you want to write about a character who lacks empathy and has one of these disorders it is important to do a lot of research into it. Interview specialists, read extensively, and create a believable character.

D. Which Characters Should Be Empaths?

Empathetic characters are often the moral voice of a story. Remember this when you write about empathy.

A true empath listens carefully without jumping to judgement. They do not interrupt. They do not share the fact they have had a similar experience. They do not immediately propose a solution. Empaths try to understand how another character feels and why they feel that way. A psychologist is the ideal empathetic character.

However, we don’t all have somebody like this in our stories. In general, these characters should show empathy:

• Your protagonist should be empathetic. Most people will not root for a character who is a psychopath. You can write an anti-hero , but you need to make them relatable .
• Your confidant/friend or sidekick character should be empathetic. It stands to reason that the protagonist looks to the friend for advice and help and this character would need to have these qualities.
• If you have a mentor in your story, they are usually empathetic. They are the wise characters who guide and protect your protagonist.

You can choose whether or not these characters are empathetic:

• Your love interest could either be a support or a hindrance. If the former is true, make them empathetic. If the latter is more true, then make them less empathetic.
• Your antagonist should not be empathetic to your protagonist’s story goal. They might understand why they are in opposition to that character, but allowing them to be too caring defeats the purpose of having them there in the first place.

E. Body Language

When you’re writing an empathetic character, include these body language signs:

• Nodding slowly
• Making eye contact
• Squaring shoulders
• Arms at sides
• Raising eyebrows slightly (to show interest)
• Tilting your head
• Relaxing facial muscles
• Placing palms up

If you want your character to empathise with somebody else, they should mirror the body language of the other person. They should also speak in the same tone (as long as the tone is reasonable).

Suggested reading: Why Method Writing Makes You A Better Author

F)  The Importance Of Empathy In Plotting

As a writer, you can use empathy to complicate the plot :

• You can force a character to feel empathy in such a way that they have to act differently and move the plot forward .
• Empathy can be used as a catalyst to help somebody form a relationship in a story.
• Showing empathy can reveal another side to a character that nobody dreamt existed.
• It can also be a transformative experience. A character who has judged too quickly might show character growth by changing their behaviour after empathising with a person or a situation.
• You can slow down the pace of a story by introducing a situation that has to be dealt with empathetically.
• 37 Ways To Write About Anger
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I hope this post has given you some ideas on how to  write about empathy .

Top Tip : Use our  Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

If you liked this blogger’s writing, you may enjoy:

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1 thought on “40 Ways To Write About Empathy”

Fascinating observations – thank you

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How to Be More Empathetic

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

Nensuria / Getty Images

• Characteristics
• Pitfalls of Lacking Empathy

Can You Be Too Empathetic?

Empathy involves the ability to sense, understand, and share the feelings and emotions of others from their perspective. It is, essentially, being able to place yourself in someone else's shoes and feel what they must be feeling in that situation.

Empathy is a crucial human skill that can positively impact our relationships, well-being, and ability to connect with others. By taking the time to develop your empathy, you can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

Learn how to be more empathetic and how your capacity to understand others' feelings can improve your relationships and well-being. 

Some people tend to be more naturally able to place themselves in someone else's position, but it is also an ability that you can develop and strengthen. There are many strategies that you can utilize to develop a strong sense of empathy for other people.

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

When talking to someone, take note of their body language and any nonverbal cues they may be giving off. This can give you essential clues about how they are feeling and what they might be thinking.

Understand Where They Are Coming From

Before truly empathizing with someone, you need to understand where they are coming from. This means taking the time to see things from their perspective and trying to understand their motivations and feelings.

Consider how you would feel in their situation. How would you feel? How might you react? What kind of support might you need? Such questions can give you greater insight into what other people are experiencing and help you feel greater empathy. 

Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves fully focusing on what the other person is saying verbally and nonverbally. When actively listening, you should be trying to understand what the person is saying and how they feel, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Express Understanding

Once you understand how the other person feels, it is essential to express empathy appropriately. This means showing that you understand and share the other person's feelings.

This doesn't mean comparing their situation to someone else's or describing your own past experiences. While it might feel like you are helping them feel less alone, it often has the effect of minimizing or dismissing what they are experiencing.

Avoid Making Assumptions

One of the most important things to remember when trying to be empathetic is to avoid assumptions about the other person's thoughts or feelings. Instead, try to see things from their perspective and ask them questions if you are unsure.

Be Aware of Your Own Biases

When trying to be empathetic towards others, be aware of your own biases and preconceptions. Everyone has unique experiences and perspectives shaping how we see the world and its people. Think about how your own biases might affect how you view someone else's situation and then try to set those feelings aside to see or feel things from their perspective.

Practice Your Empathy Skills Regularly

Research suggests that people can learn to be empathetic but that maintaining these skills may require additional support and practice. One of the best ways to develop your empathetic skills is to seek opportunities to practice.

For example, you might volunteer for a cause you care about, talk to people from different walks of life, or pay more attention to your emotions and those of others around you.

Characteristics of Empathetic People

People who possess a great deal of empathy often share several pivotal characteristics.

Emotionally intelligent

Good at reading people

Compassionate

Good communicators

Strong intuition

Warm-hearted

Low emotional intelligence

Struggle to understand others

Poor communicators

Insensitive

Poor intuition

Cold-hearted

Benefits of Being Empathetic

Being empathetic can have many benefits, including helping you feel closer and more connected to the people around you.

Some other benefits of being empathetic include:

• Builds trust and rapport : When you take the time to understand how someone else is feeling, it helps to build trust and rapport. You can communicate with them more effectively and foster a closer connection, which improves your confidence and trust in each other.
• Encourages openness and vulnerability : When people feel like they are being understood, they are more likely to open up and be vulnerable with you. Sharing things about yourself is essential for building relationships with other people.
• Leads to more satisfying relationships : It can improve communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship satisfaction.
• Promotes personal growth and development : Empathy can help you better understand yourself and others. This self-awareness can promote personal growth and development.
• Encourages altruistic behavior : When you can relate to the struggles and joys of others, it encourages altruistic behavior . Empathetic people may be more likely to help others in their time of need.
• Increases happiness and well-being : Additionally, empathetic people often report higher levels of happiness and well-being.

Potential Pitfalls of Being Less Empathetic

Lacking empathy can also have a number of serious consequences in your life:

• Damages relationships : When you cannot understand or relate to how someone else is feeling, it can damage the relationship.
• Leads to social isolation : Without empathy, you may struggle to connect with others and eventually become isolated and lonely .
• Hinders personal growth : Understanding and accepting yourself and others can be difficult without empathy. This can hinder personal growth and development.
• Encourages narcissism : A lack of empathy can encourage narcissistic behavior. Narcissists are self-centered and lack concern for how their actions affect others.
• Can lead to bullying : Without empathy, you may not see the impact of your words and actions on others. This can lead to bullying behavior.
• Increases stress and anxiety : Lacking empathy can also increase stress and anxiety levels. When you cannot understand or relate to the emotions of others, it can be confusing and frustrating.

While empathy is generally considered a positive trait, it is possible to be too empathetic . Overly empathetic people may struggle to draw boundaries in their relationships. They may also have difficulty setting boundaries for themselves. 

Additionally, people who are too empathetic may be more likely to experience compassion fatigue. This is a condition where you become overwhelmed by the suffering of others. If you feel burned out or overwhelmed by the emotions of others, it is vital to spend some time focusing on taking care of yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

There can be many causes for a lack of empathy. Empathy is thought to be primarily learned through our parents or primary caregivers. If our parents were not empathetic, we might struggle to learn and understand empathy ourselves. Additionally, some mental health disorders or psychological conditions may lead to a lack of empathy. For example, people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) lack emotional empathy.

Empathy and sympathy are often confused.

• Empathy involves being able to understand the feelings of another. So, when you are empathetic, you can understand and share another person's emotions.
• Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone else. When you are sympathetic, you may feel bad for the person, but you do not necessarily share in their emotions.

Think about how you react to the emotions of others. Do you have difficulty understanding or relating to how others are feeling? Do you feel overwhelmed by the emotions of others? 

Additionally, consider your relationships. Do you find it challenging to connect with others? Do you often feel alone or misunderstood? 

If you answered yes to these questions, you might lack empathy. However, it is important to remember that everyone experiences empathy differently. Some people may be more empathetic than others.

Empathy also varies depending on the situation or even the person involved. So, just because you have difficulty empathizing in one situation does not mean you lack empathy altogether. 

If you are concerned that you lack empathy, it may be helpful to talk to a counselor or therapist. They can help you better understand your responses and help you learn how to connect with others.

A Word From Verywell

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the emotions of another. It is a critical skill that can help us build strong relationships. Additionally, empathy can help us to be more compassionate and understanding. You can learn to be more empathetic by listening, being present, and trying to understand how the other person feels. Additionally, it is essential to be empathetic without judgment. Lastly, talking to a counselor or therapist may be helpful if you struggle with empathy. They can help you better understand your empathetic responses and how to connect with others.

Riess H. The science of empathy . J Patient Exp . 2017;4(2):74-77. doi:10.1177/2374373517699267

Verhofstadt L, Devoldre I, Buysse A, Stevens M, Hinnekens C, Ickes W, Davis M. The role of cognitive and affective empathy in spouses' support interactions: An observational study . PLoS One . 2016 Feb 24;11(2):e0149944. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0149944

Baird AD, Scheffer IE, Wilson SJ. Mirror neuron system involvement in empathy: A critical look at the evidence . Soc Neurosci . 2011;6(4):327-35. doi:10.1080/17470919.2010.547085

Kataoka H, Iwase T, Ogawa H, et al. Can communication skills training improve empathy? A six-year longitudinal study of medical students in Japan . Medical Teacher . 2019;41(2):195-200. doi:10.1080/0142159X.2018.1460657

Reblin M, Uchino BN. Social and emotional support and its implication for health . Curr Opin Psychiatry . 2008;21(2):201‐205. doi:10.1097/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89

Hajek A, König HH. Level and correlates of empathy and altruism during the Covid-19 pandemic: Evidence from a representative survey in Germany . PLoS One. 2022 Mar 16;17(3):e0265544. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0265544

Morrison AS, Mateen MA, Brozovich FA, Zaki J, Goldin PR, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ. Empathy for positive and negative emotions in social anxiety disorder . Behav Res Ther . 2016;87:232-242. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2016.10.005

Ritter K, Dziobek I, Preissler S, et al. Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder .  Psychiatry Res . 2011;187(1-2):241-247. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2010.09.013

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

How to Create More Belonging for Yourself and Others

Before a big, make-or-break presentation to shareholders, a rising employee in Silicon Valley was feeling nervous. Although her career was going well, it was still difficult to make it in a male-dominated industry, and she often felt like she didn’t belong.

But before the talk, her CEO came up to her, looked her in the eye, and said, “You are changing this company.” It gave her the confidence to go in, give the speech, and nail it. Today, she is the director of a major firm in the technology industry.

The way we treat each other can help us feel like we belong—or not. Belonging is the sense that we’re part of a larger group that accepts and values us for who we are, to which we can contribute; we feel like we have roots, maybe even a home.

As humans, we evolved to move through the world together, and there can be destructive consequences when belonging is missing, including for our health. Amid the pain of not belonging, we feel more threatened and stressed in the world, and sometimes we’ll seek out belonging wherever we can get it—even in extremist, violent ideological groups.

But there are small things we can do, day in and day out, to feel that we belong and help others feel the same. Based on research by myself and others, here are a few. 

Reach out. There is so much we can do to help one another, and small actions matter. It could be just a word from a mentor, or a well-timed pat on the back, that is just what we need at the right time.

Research by Gillian Sandstrom , Elizabeth Dunn, Eric Wesselmann , Kip Williams, and many others shows how little things make a big difference. Even talking to your barista in a way that conveys you want to get to know them, or making eye contact with people, has benefits for your sense of meaning, connection, and purpose. So does turning your phone off when you’re with friends or family.

The ability to connect in the smallest corners of social life is almost like a superpower that we all have.

Don’t underestimate the benefits of connection. What we think will make us happy isn’t necessarily what makes us happy, and sometimes that means we miss out on opportunities for happiness and connection. According to research by Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder , people don’t think talking to a stranger on the train will make them happier. But when they actually do it—just a 10-minute chit-chat—they are happier. Even little connections energize us.

Connecting with other people has many benefits. First, you get alternate perspectives on your own troubles and worries. But you’re also experiencing the delight of encountering another human being. If you’re awake to that wonder, there is much joy to be had.

Don’t be so quick to judge others. The fundamental attribution error refers to our tendency to over-blame people—their personality, abilities, and virtues—and to under-blame situations and context. We fail to imagine how the things in their circumstances, even the ones right in front of our face, may be affecting them.

For example, teachers and managers overattribute poor performance to a lack of ability, especially in people who belong to negatively stereotyped groups. If a Black kid misbehaves twice in class, they may write them off as a troublemaker, and they’re more likely to suggest suspending them, suggests research by Jason Okonofua and Jennifer Eberhardt . That does more harm than good, aggravating the sense of exclusion and uncertainty about belonging that often drives kids to act out. 
 Instead, we can empathize and try to get the perspective of the people who disappoint and upset us. Research suggests that taking an empathic rather than punitive perspective on misbehaving students—inquiring into what’s troubling them, and responding by reinforcing connection rather than with punishment—reduces teenagers’ suspension rates, especially among members of underrepresented ethnic groups.

Reflect on your values . In numerous studies, researchers have asked individuals—like students, employees, and professional athletes—to take some time before a stressful moment and reflect or write about their core values . They look at a list of values, such as relationships with friends and family or community, and they select their most important ones. Then, they write about why these values are important to them.

Affirming Important Values

When your self-image takes a hit, reflect on what matters

When teachers ask students to do this, research by Eric Smith and Greg Walton suggests, it conveys that the teacher cares about them and wants to know their whole self. It also invites their full self into what can be a seemingly threatening situation (middle school), so they feel bigger than the problems before them and able to overcome more difficulties.

This small act of revisiting our core values can tamp down the stress response we have in threatening or stressful situations. For middle schoolers from underrepresented groups, the activity can improve their Affirmation on Identity Development">sense of belonging in school , boost their GPA over the next two years, improve their disciplinary behavior , and help them make it to college . And those benefits are strongest among students who are often made to feel like outsiders because of their income or background. New research by Julian Pfrombeck and his colleagues finds that these values affirmations help the unemployed to stay engaged during the often-discouraging job search process, increasing their likelihood of finding employment.

Be welcoming at the beginning. In the workplace, research by Dan Cable and his colleagues suggests we can improve retention by helping employees evoke their best self during the onboarding process, rather than trying to “break them in.”

If you wait too long to intervene or to plant that seat of belonging, it’s often too late. We have a lot of leverage at those early moments when we’re opening the door and welcoming a person in. It’s like arriving at a party: That moment when you’re greeted and welcomed can really shape the tone of the whole experience.

Give wise criticism. How do we give good critical feedback to our employees or students in a way that helps them learn but isn’t threatening or undermining to their sense of belonging? In a series of studies, we found a simple technique that can be very helpful: When you’re giving the feedback, first make it clear (in a genuine way) that it comes from high standards. I’m giving you this critical feedback because I have high standards and because I believe in your potential to reach them.

In one study with my colleague David Yeager and others, we found that when middle school students received this message from their teacher with feedback on an essay, the percentage of students who revised their essay jumped from 17% to 72%. Years later, those kids were more likely to make it to a four-year college because that message came at a formative moment when they were trying to get a foothold and feel like they belonged.

Share stories of adversity. When people are transitioning into new roles, one helpful way to convey the message you’re not alone here is to have those who are more senior share their stories of adversity and what they went through when they were transitioning.

My research with Gregory Walton and Shannon Brady finds benefits to this in college and in workplaces. The stories of adversity are conveying two messages: First, if you’re feeling like you don’t quite belong during this transition, that’s normal. You’re not alone. And, second, feeling like you don’t belong tends to be short-lived. It gets better if you hang in there, reach out to people, and ask for feedback.

Stories of people who have gone before us—who have “been there, done that”—help us to see our shared humanity. They can be reassuring and promote belonging, school retention, health, well-being, productivity, and morale.

Listen to other people’s perspectives. Too seldom do we take the time to ask people questions about what’s standing in the way of their belonging and how we can help—what Nicholas Epley calls perspective-getting .

In one study , researchers asked college students from historically underrepresented groups (Black and Latino students) about their experiences and struggles in college. The students said they wanted more faculty engagement and more tips on improvement. So instructors started sending emails that explained how to improve if the students weren’t getting good grades, and when to come for office hours. This simple message increased students’ grades in their course, with some evidence that it also raised graduation rates.

For many people in our society, systems of exclusion make them de facto outsiders in so many situations, and systemic change in many of our institutions is necessary. At the same time, all these brief practices can have lasting benefits for people’s sense of belonging, performance, and achievement if we offer them to our mentees, friends, students, or strangers, especially at timely moments.  Several of these strategies have been tested and validated in large-scale studies , even at the national level .

While these acts may be brief, they aren’t small. In fact, they are often psychologically very big from the perspective of a kid or a new employee who feels unseen or like an outsider. These acts can occasion a change in identity and trajectory by sending the message I see you , I believe in you , or You’re not alone .

This essay is based on a  talk  that is part of the Positive Links Speaker Series by the University of Michigan’s Center for Positive Organizations. The Center is dedicated to building a better world by pioneering the science of thriving organizations.

About the Author

Geoffrey Cohen

Geoffrey Cohen, Ph.D. , is the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business at the Stanford University Graduate School of Education, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and (by courtesy) a professor of organizational behavior at the Stanford University Graduate School of Business.

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This I Believe Essay

This i believe essay generator.

In the realm of personal expression and introspection, the “This I Believe” essay stands as a testament to the power of individual beliefs and narratives. Rooted in the context of personal experiences and convictions, these essays provide a platform for individuals to articulate their core principles, values, and perspectives. Through the use of various literary devices and elements , authors craft narratives that illuminate their unique outlook on life. In this article, we will delve into the definition of a This I Believe essay, present a step-by-step guide on how to craft one, address common questions, and explore the essence of this expressive form.

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What is a This I Believe Essay?

A This I Believe essay is a written composition that encapsulates an individual’s personal beliefs, values, and philosophies. Often reflective and intimate in nature, these essays offer readers insight into the author’s subjective understanding of the world. They provide an opportunity to explore the depth of one’s convictions, making use of various literary devices and characteristics to convey a sense of authenticity and sincerity. Through the exploration of individual experiences and convictions, these essays aim to connect with readers on a personal and emotional level.

How to Write a This I Believe Essay

Step 1: choose your core belief.

At the heart of your essay lies your core belief. Choose a belief that holds personal significance and represents your worldview. This belief should be something you feel passionately about and can articulate convincingly.

Step 2: Develop a Compelling Context

Create a context for your belief by providing background information. Explain why this belief is important to you and how it has shaped your experiences and outlook on life. A relatable context will engage your readers and make your essay more relatable.

Step 3: Employ Effective Literary Devices

Incorporate literary devices to enhance the impact of your essay. Metaphors, similes, and anecdotes can help convey your belief in a vivid and relatable manner. Consider how these devices can strengthen your narrative and connect with your audience emotionally.

Step 4: Craft a Strong Conclusion

Summarize your belief and its significance in your life, reinforcing the message you want to leave with your readers. Reflect on the journey you’ve taken them on and inspire them to reflect on their own beliefs.

Can I write about a commonly held belief?

Absolutely. While it’s important to maintain authenticity, even exploring a cliché belief can be powerful when you provide a fresh perspective or personal context. Your unique experiences and reflections make your essay stand out.

Can I use proper nouns in my essay?

Yes, proper nouns can add specificity and authenticity to your essay. Mentioning specific places, people, or events can help ground your beliefs in real-world experiences.

How can I make my essay more impactful?

Focus on using strong verbs to convey emotions and actions. Instead of saying “I felt sad,” consider saying “I crumbled under the weight of sorrow.” This adds depth to your writing and engages the reader’s senses.

In the realm of personal expression, the This I Believe essay shines as a vehicle for exploring one’s deepest convictions. By carefully selecting beliefs, weaving context, employing literary devices, and crafting strong conclusions, authors can create narratives that resonate with readers on a profound level. Through the power of words, these essays bridge the gap between individual experiences and universal truths, reminding us of the strength and diversity of human beliefs. So, take the plunge into introspection and share your beliefs with the world through the art of the This I Believe essay.

Text prompt

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Write a This I Believe Essay about the power of kindness in everyday life

Discuss in a This I Believe Essay how overcoming challenges has shaped your character

How to Set Boundaries for Your Empathy

Empathy connects us on a deeper level, but we must take care of ourselves..

Updated June 16, 2024 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• Be mindful of how you feel and how the emotions of others affect you.
• Get to know how much emotional energy you can give and learn to say no when you need to.
• It's OK to be selective about who you surround yourself with and how much time you spend with them.

As an empathetic person, I often sense the feelings that others bring to conversations. Those emotions can be intense to the point of being overpowering.

You may have experienced something similar. If you speak with someone who feels intense sadness, shame , or grief , it can feel like the world's weight is suddenly on your shoulders.

It can be difficult to avoid getting swept up in those feelings when people suffer. I have an internal urge to be there for others' suffering.

As I interact with someone who is suffering, I've learned to balance two things: I want to be there for the other person with presence, open heart, and loving-kindness, and at the same time, I want to set clear boundaries for my own empathy to ensure that the interaction is healthy and right for me.

Empathy allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, but we must prioritize taking care of ourselves. If you let feelings overwhelm you, the stress levels you can encounter could be significantly detrimental to your mental and physical health.

Here are some ways to set healthy boundaries and ensure your empathy won't harm you.

Practice More Self-Awareness

Start by being mindful of how you feel and how the emotions of others affect you. If you notice that you feel drained after being around certain people or situations, it may be a sign that you need to set boundaries for your empathy.

If you practice this regularly, you might even notice in-the-moment warning signs telling you that you are flooded with the other person's emotions and need to step back.

Understand Your Limitations

Get to know how much emotional energy you can give and learn to say no when you need to. Recognizing when you are reaching your limit and communicating it clearly to others is essential.

If you're used to putting others' needs before your own, it can be challenging to turn down requests. Start by turning down small requests you don't have time to complete. A simple statement like, "I'm sorry, but I cannot do that right now," can help you start to develop new habits.

Use "I" Statements

Using "I" statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming others can be helpful when setting boundaries. For example, "I would appreciate a little space right now" instead of "You need to stop because I'm overwhelmed."

Be Selective of Situations

It's OK to be selective about who you surround yourself with and how much time you spend with them. Prioritize moments with those who uplift and support you and notice when supporting someone drains you.

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself is crucial when setting boundaries for your empathy. Make sure to prioritize your well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation , or spending time in nature. Try setting aside a 30-minute block of time daily to focus on something you love to do.

No one can be everything to everyone. Find out the boundaries you need to set to serve yourself and others in a way that nourishes everyone involved.

Yours in service, Itai

Check out Prof. Itai Ivtzan's Single Session Therapy on Psychology Today: bit.ly/Psych-Today123

Itai Ivtzan, Ph.D. , is a positive psychologist, Professor at Naropa University, and the director of the School of Positive Transformation.

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Understanding the Essence of Fiction: a Comprehensive Definition

This essay is about the nature and significance of fiction. It explores how fiction, as a creation of the imagination, offers unique perspectives on the human experience. The essay discusses the fundamental characteristics of fiction, such as narrative structure, characters, setting, and themes. It also examines fiction’s purposes, including entertainment, education, and fostering empathy. Furthermore, the essay highlights fiction’s impact on individual readers and society, emphasizing its role in shaping cultural narratives and promoting social change.

How it works

Fiction, fundamentally, is a creation of the imagination, a construct that invites readers to journey beyond their personal experiences. This multifaceted concept includes various forms, genres, and styles, each offering a distinct perspective on the world. To truly grasp the essence of fiction, one must explore its fundamental characteristics, its purposes, and its influence on both individuals and society.

At its core, fiction is defined by its deviation from factual accuracy. Unlike non-fiction, which seeks to convey truths about the real world, fiction enjoys the liberty to invent characters, settings, and events.

This creative freedom enables writers to craft worlds that, while fictional, can offer profound insights into the human condition. Through fiction, authors can delve into complex themes such as love, loss, identity, and morality, often uncovering truths that elude straightforward factual representation.

A key characteristic of fiction is its reliance on narrative structure. A well-crafted fictional narrative typically includes elements such as plot, character, setting, and theme. The plot is the sequence of events that unfold within the story, driven by the actions and decisions of the characters. These characters, whether they are protagonists, antagonists, or somewhere in between, are the lifeblood of fiction. They allow readers to connect emotionally with the story, often seeing reflections of their own experiences in the characters’ journeys.

The setting, or the time and place in which the story occurs, also plays a crucial role in fiction. It provides the backdrop against which the plot and characters come to life, often shaping the narrative in significant ways. Whether it’s a bustling city, a quiet rural town, a fantastical realm, or a dystopian future, the setting helps immerse readers in the fictional world, making the story more vivid and believable.

Themes are the underlying messages or questions that a piece of fiction seeks to explore. These themes can be explicit or subtle, but they often touch on universal aspects of the human experience. Through themes, fiction can challenge readers to think critically about their own beliefs and assumptions, fostering empathy and understanding.

Fiction serves multiple purposes. On one level, it is a form of entertainment. It provides an escape from the mundane, transporting readers to different times, places, and realities. This escapism can be a source of joy and relaxation, offering a temporary respite from the stresses and challenges of everyday life.

However, fiction is not merely about entertainment. It also has the power to educate and enlighten. Through storytelling, authors can illuminate historical events, social issues, and cultural practices, offering readers a deeper understanding of the world around them. Fiction can serve as a mirror, reflecting societal norms and values, and sometimes even challenging or subverting them. In this way, fiction can be a catalyst for social change, encouraging readers to see the world from new perspectives and inspiring them to take action.

Furthermore, fiction plays a vital role in the development of empathy. By allowing readers to inhabit the minds and lives of characters who are different from themselves, fiction fosters a deeper appreciation for the experiences and struggles of others. This empathetic engagement can break down barriers, reduce prejudice, and promote a more inclusive and compassionate society.

The impact of fiction on individual readers can be profound. A compelling story can resonate on a deeply personal level, evoking a range of emotions from joy and laughter to sorrow and fear. These emotional experiences can be cathartic, allowing readers to process their own feelings and experiences in a safe and controlled environment. Moreover, fiction can inspire readers, igniting their imaginations and encouraging them to pursue their own creative endeavors.

On a broader scale, fiction has the power to shape cultural narratives and collective memory. Classic works of fiction often become touchstones within a culture, influencing the way people think and talk about important issues. Iconic characters and stories can become part of the cultural lexicon, referenced and reinterpreted across generations.

In understanding the essence of fiction, it is also important to recognize its diversity. Fiction comes in many forms, from novels and short stories to plays and screenplays. Each form has its own conventions and strengths, offering different ways to engage and captivate audiences. Within these forms, fiction spans a wide range of genres, including romance, science fiction, fantasy, mystery, and literary fiction, among others. Each genre brings its own unique elements and appeal, catering to different tastes and preferences.

The boundaries of fiction are also fluid, often blending with other forms of narrative art. Graphic novels, for instance, combine visual art with storytelling, creating a rich, multimedia experience. Similarly, film and television adaptations of fictional works bring stories to life through performance and cinematography, reaching even wider audiences.

In conclusion, fiction is a dynamic and multifaceted construct that offers far more than mere entertainment. It is a powerful tool for exploring the complexities of the human experience, fostering empathy, and inspiring change. Through its imaginative narratives, fiction allows readers to venture beyond the confines of their own lives, gaining new perspectives and insights. Whether through a novel, a short story, a play, or a film, fiction has the unique ability to captivate, enlighten, and transform. Understanding the essence of fiction, therefore, involves appreciating its capacity to reflect and shape our world, one story at a time.

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Home — Essay Samples — Social Issues — Cyber Bullying — How To Stop Bullying: Creating a Safer Environment for All

How to Stop Bullying: Creating a Safer Environment for All

• Categories: Cyber Bullying

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Published: Jun 13, 2024

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How much do you need to know about how your spouse spends money? Maybe less than you think

Associate Professor of Marketing, University of Michigan

Disclosure statement

Scott Rick received a grant from the Russell Sage Foundation for the joint/separate account experiment described here.

University of Michigan provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation US.

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Love is in the air, and wedding season is upon us.

Like many elder millennials, I grew up watching sitcoms in the 1980s and ‘90s. Whenever those series needed a ratings boost, they would feature a wedding. Those special episodes taught me that weddings usually involve young lovebirds: think Elvin and Sondra from “The Cosby Show,” Cory and Topanga from “Boy Meets World,” or David and Darlene from “Roseanne.”

But those were different times. People are getting married later in life than they used to: In the United States, the median age of newlyweds has grown to 28 for women and 30 for men.

This trend means that many Americans now enter marriage after being self-reliant for several years, including managing their own money. Will they be eager to change that once they get married? Don’t count on it. A 2017 Bank of America survey suggests that millennial married couples are around 15 percentage points more likely than their predecessors to keep their finances separate.

This is not necessarily a good development. As a behavioral scientist who studies money and relationships , I find that joint accounts can bring partners closer .

There are some risks, however. Joint accounts create transparency, and intuitively, transparency feels like a good thing in relationships. But I argue that some privacy is important even for highly committed couples – and money is no exception .

The newlywed game

Behavioral scientists Jenny Olson , Deb Small , Eli Finkel and I recently conducted an experiment with engaged and newlywed couples . Each of the pairs had entirely separate accounts, but they were undecided about how they wanted to manage their money moving forward.

We randomly assigned each of the 230 couples to one of three groups. One group kept their money in separate accounts; one merged their cash into a joint account and stopped using separate accounts; and one managed their money however they liked.

We followed couples for two years, periodically asking them to complete surveys assessing their relationship dynamics and satisfaction. Our relationship quality measure included items such as “I cannot imagine another person making me as happy as my partner does” and “Within the last three months, I shouted or yelled at my partner.”

Among the couples who could do whatever they wanted, most kept things separate. They and the couples assigned to keep separate accounts experienced a steady decline in relationship quality over time.

This is a fairly typical pattern. For instance, in a large study that tracked U.S. couples’ marital happiness for 17 years , sociologist Jody Van Laningham and colleagues found that “marital happiness either declines continuously or flattens after a long period of decline.”

Declines during the first two years of marriage are particularly important. Social scientist Ted Huston and colleagues call those first two years the “connubial crucible .” They find that relationship dynamics that develop during that crucial period can foreshadow relationship quality for many years to come.

Couples in our study who were prompted to take the plunge into a joint account, however, maintained their initial level of relationship satisfaction over the course of the two-year experiment.

Tit-for-tat

Our survey results suggest that, by turning “my money” and “your money” into “our money,” a joint account can help to reduce scorekeeping within a relationship. For example, we found that couples with joint accounts were more likely to agree with statements such as “When one person does something for the other, the other should not owe the giver anything.”

Relationships usually don’t start with a scorekeeping orientation. In the 1980s and ‘90s, psychologist Margaret Clark and colleagues conducted experiments where partners had the option of keeping track of each other’s contributions to a shared task. They observed that intimate relationships often begin with a “communal” orientation, where partners help one another without keeping careful track of who’s doing what.

Eventually, however, they take on more of an “exchange” orientation – where inputs are tracked and timely reciprocity is expected. Couples that manage to stave off a tit-for-tat mindset tend to be happier .

Too much of a good thing?

The data from our experiment with young couples clearly suggests that using only a joint account is better than using only separate accounts. However, I argue in my new book, “ Tightwads and Spendthrifts ,” that just a joint account is probably not optimal.

When partners use only a joint account, they get an up-close-and-personal view of how the other person is spending money. This kind of transparency is normally viewed as a good thing.

Some commentators argue that a healthy marriage should have no secrets whatsoever. For example, Willard Harley, Jr., a clinical psychologist who primarily writes for Christian audiences, argues that you should “reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know : your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future.”

In addition, if your goal is to minimize optional spending, research suggests that the transparency that comes with a joint account can be helpful. We spend less when someone is looking over our shoulder.

Still, there are reasons to believe that complete transparency can be harmful for couples .

Many people have become convinced that if they could just stop buying lattes and avocado toast, they could invest that money and become rich. Unfortunately, the underlying math is highly dubious, as journalist Helaine Olen points out in her book “Pound Foolish .” Still, many people view small indulgences as their primary obstacle to wealth. Complete transparency around these financially inconsequential “treats” can lead to unnecessary arguments .

Also, spouses may have different passions that their partner does not fully understand. Expenses that seem perfectly reasonable to another hobbyist may seem outrageous to someone without the proper context – another source of avoidable disagreements .

'Translucent,’ not transparent

I propose that many couples may benefit from a combination of joint and separate accounts.

A joint account is essential for ensuring that both partners have immediate and equal access to “our money.” Ideally, all income would be direct-deposited into the joint account, which would help to blur the gap between partners’ earnings. Conspicuous income differences can jeopardize relationship quality .

Separate accounts attached to the joint account can allow some privacy for individual purchases and help partners maintain a sense of autonomy and individuality. Each person gets to spend some of “our money” without their partner looking over their shoulder. Spouses would have a high-level understanding of how much their partner is spending per week or per month, but avoid the occasionally irritating details.

This kind of partial financial transparency – what I call “financial translucency ” – could help couples strike the right balance between financial and psychological well-being.

Of course, this approach requires a lot of trust. If the relationship is already on thin ice, complete financial transparency may be necessary. However, if the relationship is generally in the “good, but could be even better” category, I would argue that financial translucency is worth considering.

• Relationships
• Transparency
• Bank accounts
• Personal finance
• Behavioral science
• Ethical question

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Nicholas Kristof

What Have We Liberals Done to the West Coast?

By Nicholas Kristof

Opinion Columnist, reporting from Portland, Ore.

As Democrats make their case to voters around the country this fall, one challenge is that some of the bluest parts of the country — cities on the West Coast — are a mess.

Centrist voters can reasonably ask: Why put liberals in charge nationally when the places where they have greatest control are plagued by homelessness, crime and dysfunction?

I’ll try to answer that question in a moment, but liberals like me do need to face the painful fact that something has gone badly wrong where we’re in charge, from San Diego to Seattle. I’m an Oregonian who bores people at cocktail parties by singing the praises of the West, but the truth is that too often we offer a version of progressivism that doesn’t result in progress.

We are more likely to believe that “housing is a human right” than conservatives in Florida or Texas, but less likely to actually get people housed. We accept a yawning gulf between our values and our outcomes.

Conservatives argue that the problem is simply the left. Michael Shellenberger wrote a tough book denouncing what he called “San Fransicko” with the subtitle “Why Progressives Ruin Cities.” Yet that doesn’t ring true to me.

Democratic states enjoy a life expectancy two years longer than Republican states. Per capita G.D.P. in Democratic states is 29 percent higher than in G.O.P. states, and child poverty is lower. Education is generally better in blue states, with more kids graduating from high school and college. The gulf in well-being between blue states and red states is growing wider, not narrower.

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• School Education /

Essay on Reading Day: A Celebration of Literacy and Learning 

• Updated on  
• Jun 19, 2024

Are you familiar with Puthuvayil Narayana Panicker? He is regarded as the Father of India’s Library Movement because of his efforts to promote education and literacy in India. His dream was to make India an educational society by reading books and other academic sources. Today, we observe National Reading Day on 19 June every year to honour his determination and hard work. We will discuss a 500-word essay on Reading Day to help students understand the importance of reading and what doors of opportunities this simple habit can open.

Table of Contents

• 1.1 History
• 1.2 Importance of Reading
• 1.3 Promoting Literacy and Education
• 1.4 Celebrating Reading Day
• 1.5 The Power of Reading
• 1.6 Conclusion

Essay on Reading Day in 500 words

Reading Day is marked annually on June 19th, a day dedicated to the importance of reading. Reading Day serves as a reminder of the power that books and literature have in people’s lives. This day not only honours the act of reading but also promotes literacy and education worldwide. By recognising a day to read, we highlight the importance of literature for our personal growth and societal development.

This day is celebrated in honour of P.N. Panicker, a Keralite teacher renowned as the ‘father of the Library Movement’. Puthuvayil Narayana Panicker, also known as P.N. Panicker, worked towards the betterment of society through his literacy movements in India. Even Though the day was first observed in the 1990s,  Prime Minister Narendra Modi officially declared June 19 as National Reading Day. Since then, the day has been honoured on June 19 every year. 

Importance of Reading

Reading is a fundamental skill that is necessary for education and personal growth. Reading helps us gain information, critical thinking skills, and problem-solving skills. Reading is vital for typing children to learn the language, improve comprehension, and enhance vocabulary. Books provide a glimpse into many worlds and broaden one’s understanding of various perspectives and ideas.

For adults, reading is a tool that allows them to learn and improve themselves continuously. Fictional books inspire our imagination and creativity, whereas non-fictional books teach us about the realities of life. In a constantly changing world, understanding complicated information and being able to read are critical skills. It enables people to stay informed, make sound decisions, and fully engage in society.

Promoting Literacy and Education

One of the main objectives of Reading Day is to encourage literacy and address challenges associated with it worldwide. Despite significant educational advancements, the world continues to face challenges with literacy. According to UNESCO, around 773 million individuals globally lack basic literacy abilities, while millions of youngsters do not receive an education. Reading Day emphasises the need for successful literacy programmes and equal access to reading resources for all. Community initiatives, such as book distribution or library expansions, can have a huge impact. Working together, we can ensure that everyone has the opportunity to study and benefit from the knowledge that books offer.

Celebrating Reading Day

Reading Day can be celebrated in a variety of ways. Schools frequently play an important part in the celebration of reading. By organising book fairs, creative writing workshops, and storytelling sessions, we can instill a love of reading in the next generation. Libraries are also an important element of this event. Public libraries can reach out to the community by organising mobile libraries and establishing reading areas in public places. Parents can also help their children develop the habit of reading.

The Power of Reading

The impact of reading extends far beyond the individual. It can transform societies. Reading promotes empathy and cultural awareness. Through literature, an individual can learn about diverse ideas and cultures, allowing them to be a more active participant in the democratic process. Furthermore, reading can inspire and stimulate creativity. Many stories inspire us to pursue our dreams and fight social norms.

Reading Day celebrates written words and their importance in our lives. This occasion is an opportunity to promote literacy, instil a love of books, and acknowledge the significant impact reading has on individuals and societies. Let us celebrate this day as a chance to instill a lifelong appreciation of reading in individuals and work towards an educated and progressive society.

Also Read: Importance of Reading for Students

Ans: Reading Day is marked annually on June 19th, a day dedicated to the importance of reading. The first reading was celebrated on 19th June 1996 in honor of P.N. Panicker, a Kerala teacher.

Ans: This day is celebrated in honour of P.N. Panicker, a Keralite teacher renowned as the ‘father of the Library Movement’. Puthuvayil Narayana Panicker, also known as P.N. Panicker, worked towards the betterment of society through his literacy movements in India. Reading Day serves as a reminder of the power that books and literature have in people’s lives. This day not only honours the act of reading but also promotes literacy and education worldwide. 

Ans: Reading is a tool that allows them to learn and improve themselves continuously. Fictional books inspire our imagination and creativity, whereas non-fictional books teach us about the realities of life. In a constantly changing world, understanding complicated information and being able to read are critical skills. It enables people to stay informed, make sound decisions, and fully engage in society.

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Bhumika Sharma

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