entry level job personal statement examples

How to Write a CV Personal Statement [20 Examples Included]

By Jeffrey Stromes

10 min read

When applying for a job, it’s critical that you immediately grab the recruiter’s attention . Otherwise, you’ll remain unnoticed, even though you may be a real gem in the pool of candidates. But how are you supposed to arouse the hiring professional’s curiosity right off the bat? The answer is hidden in these three words: a CV personal statement.

While writing a curriculum vitae is somewhat straightforward, creating a persuasive personal statement may be a challenge. Luckily, we’re here to end your struggles and teach you how to craft an eye-catching one, so keep reading to learn more!

Key Takeaways

As a highlight of your professional history, a CV personal summary aims to spark a recruiter’s interest and make them read your CV .

A personal summary is beneficial for all candidates, regardless of their experience, as it will allow a recruiter to learn more about them .

To write a compelling personal statement, you should tailor it to the job you want to apply for, highlight your experience and skills, and include your career goal.

What Is a CV Personal Statement?

Also referred to as a personal mission statement or career summary, a CV personal statement sums up who you are and what you may bring to the company . Its primary purpose is to spark a recruiter’s interest in you.

Located at the top of your curriculum vitae, a CV personal statement consists of two to four sentences that describe:

Mandatory CV Personal Statement Information

Who you are

How you’ll benefit the company

What your career objectives are

So, in other words, this part lets you show your greatest strengths and career goals . As such, it can be of great help if you’re starting out or seeking a different career path.

Here’s an example of a nicely crafted CV personal statement:

CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated Registered Nurse with five years of experience, I bring a proven track record in delivering compassionate and high-quality patient care. Proficient in diverse healthcare settings, I excel at assessing and addressing patient needs while fostering a collaborative and supportive environment. I am seeking a role where my skills and passion for excellence can contribute to the Houston Medical Clinic.

Why You Should Have a CV Personal Statement

By emphasizing your unique skills and talents and demonstrating why you’re the right fit for the job, a CV personal statement can help you stand out from other candidates . It will entice a hiring professional to continue reading and discover more about your skills, qualifications, experience, and achievements.

While a personal statement can help seasoned professionals with solid experience land a new job, it is also beneficial for job hunters seeking their first jobs. A CV personal statement for students allows high schoolers or undergraduates to get the job they want by summarizing their relevant academic achievements .

How to Write a Personal Statement for a CV

Here’s how to write a CV personal statement and pitch yourself to a hiring professional:

#1. Introduce Yourself

The very first sentence of your personal statement should indicate that you’re a serious candidate for the position. Describe yourself and your work experience using strong adjectives and action verbs .

The simplest way to introduce yourself is to ask, “Who am I professionally?" and an eye-catching answer will pop out immediately.

#2. List the Skills Relevant to the Position

After you’ve introduced yourself, highlight two to three skills relevant to the position . Check out the job description and look for the required competencies; select a couple of them that refer to you, and then list them in your personal statement.

By doing so, you’ll not only tailor your statement to the role; you’ll also pass the pre-screening process carried out by an ATS hassle-free.

#3. Include a Specific Goal You Want to Achieve

The next step is to add an objective you’d like to accomplish . However, make sure that the goal isn’t solely yours; it should be in line with the company’s as well .

Mentioning a specific goal that also aligns with the company’s will make a hiring manager consider you a valuable addition to the team. 

#4. Mention Your Previous Experience/Background

Having relevant experience is a one-way ticket to the next stage of the hiring process. Hence, if you possess it, mention it right away.

To do it effectively, go over the job ad again and peruse the duties and responsibilities that will await you in this position. Try to remember similar activities and experiences from previous roles and list them.

#5. Quantify Your Achievements

Listing achievements along with experience indeed adds some value to your personal statement for a CV. However, supporting it with measurable results gives it more credibility .

You can back up your achievements with growth percentages, value increases, budget savings, customer happiness , etc. Such quantifiable results will show a hiring professional how you can contribute to the success of their company as well.

20 CV Personal Statement Examples

Here, we’ll list 20 CV personal statement examples that you can use either to get inspiration or as personal statement templates.

#1. Recent Graduate CV Personal Statement

Here’s a personal summary example for a budding computer scientist CV:

Computer Scientist CV Personal Statement Example

As a recent graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science, I am enthusiastic about applying my academic knowledge in software development. I am eager to embark on a career where I can use my technical skills and bring a fresh perspective to contribute to a dynamic development team. 

And here’s an example of a personal statement for a digital marketing graduate:

Digital Marketing CV Personal Statement Example

Having recently earned my Bachelor of Arts in Marketing with a specialization in Digital Marketing, I am eager to launch my career in the fast-evolving digital landscape. I am now eager to contribute my energy, fresh perspective, and dedication to excellence in a professional marketing environment that fosters continuous learning and growth.

This is an example of a law graduate personal statement:

Law Graduate CV Personal Statement Example

As a recent law graduate, I bring a comprehensive understanding of legal principles and a passion for justice. My academic journey has equipped me with strong research, analytical, and communication skills. I am eager to embark on a legal career where I can apply my knowledge to contribute to the pursuit of justice.

#2. Career Change CV Personal Statement Example

Check out an example of a CV personal statement for a transition from finance into data analytics :

Data Analytics CV Personal Statement Example

As a dynamic professional with a successful track record in finance, I am now eager to use my skills to start a new challenge in data analytics. My goal is to use my financial and newly acquired data analytics abilities to contribute to a forward-thinking company seeking to optimize its operations through actionable insights.

Here’s an example of a personal statement for a civil engineer seeking a career change :

Civil Engineer CV Personal Statement Example

After a successful decade in project management within the construction industry, I am excited to redirect my career toward sustainable development and environmental management. Armed with a Master's degree in Civil Engineering, I am eager to bring my proven leadership and technical skills to contribute to a sustainability-focused company looking to drive positive change.

Take a look at the CV personal statement of a software developer transitioning into web design:

Web Design CV Personal Statement Example

With a decade of experience in software development, I am seeking a career change that merges my passion for technology and web design. Having technical experience in coding and a deep understanding of web design trends, I am eager to apply my analytical thinking and technical skills to build attention-grabbing and highly functional web pages.

#3. Internship CV Personal Statement Example

This is an example of a CV personal statement for a marketing internship :

Marketing Internship CV Personal Statement Example

As a highly motivated and creative individual, I am seeking an internship in marketing where I can apply my strong analytical skills and passion for brand promotion. Proficient in social media marketing and content creation, I am eager to contribute fresh perspectives and innovative strategies to enhance the company's online presence. 

Check out a personal statement example for a cyber security internship personal statement:

Cyber Security Internship CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated and detail-oriented computer science enthusiast, I am actively seeking an internship in cyber security to apply my strong understanding of network security and information protection. Eager to expand my knowledge of cyber defense strategies and contribute to safeguarding digital assets, I am excited about the prospect of contributing to a dynamic cybersecurity team during my internship.

Check out the CV personal statement of a psychology student:

Psychology Student Internship CV Personal Statement Example

Enthusiastic Psychology student with a deep interest in understanding human behavior and emotions. Through coursework in cognitive psychology and research experience, I've developed analytical and critical thinking skills. Actively involved in campus organizations focused on mental health awareness, I am now seeking internships in the field of counseling or research to apply my academic knowledge to real-world situations.

Here’s what a CV personal statement of an environmental science student looks like:

Environmental Science Internship CV Personal Statement Example

Passionate Environmental Science student dedicated to sustainability and conservation. Through my coursework, I acquired a strong foundation in environmental science. I am actively engaged in campus projects focused on reducing carbon footprint. Eager to contribute my knowledge to real-world environmental initiatives, I am seeking internship opportunities to apply my skills to sustainable practices and conservation efforts.

#4. Experienced Professionals CV Personal Statement Example

Here’s an example of a seasoned finance professional personal statement: 

Finance Professional CV Personal Statement Example

As a seasoned financial analyst with over 10 years of experience in budgeting, forecasting, and financial modeling, I am proficient in optimizing financial processes. I've successfully led cross-functional teams to achieve cost savings of up to 15%. With an MBA in Finance and a proven ability to drive profitability, I am eager to bring my strategic financial expertise to a leadership role.

This is what an experienced marketing executive CV statement should look like:

Marketing Executive CV Personal Statement Example

Accomplished marketing executive with a demonstrated history of driving brand growth in competitive markets. Over 12 years of experience, I developed and executed comprehensive marketing strategies, resulting in a consistent 20% annual increase in market share. I am now seeking a senior leadership position to apply my strategic vision and foster innovation in an innovative company.

 Take a look at the CV personal statement example of an IT project manager :

IT Project Manager CV Personal Statement Example

A seasoned IT project manager with PMP certification and a commitment to staying at the forefront of tech trends. I have a track record of reducing project timelines by 25% and enhancing system efficiency by 30%. Ready for a leadership role, I'm excited to lead a team in overcoming the next technological frontier.

Here’s an example of a human resources director personal statement:

Human Resources Director CV Personal Statement Example

With a decade of experience sculpting positive workplace cultures, I created and implemented HR programs that enhanced employee engagement and retention. Initiatives I've led resulted in a 20% improvement in employee satisfaction and a 15% reduction in turnover. Armed with an SPHR certification, I am excited to bring my strategic HR leadership to a company committed to fostering a positive workplace culture.

#5. Student CV Personal Statement Examples

If you’re a business administration student, this is what your personal statement should look like:

Business Administration Student CV Personal Statement Example

As an ambitious Business Administration student specializing in marketing, I offer a combination of academic achievements and practical skills developed through internships. Eager to apply my knowledge in a dynamic business environment, I am seeking opportunities where I can use my skills and passion for marketing to drive tangible results.

Here’s a graphic design student personal statement example:

Graphic Design Student CV Personal Statement Example

As a Graphic Design student with a creative flair and technical proficiency, I bring a unique blend of design skills acquired through coursework and hands-on projects. Proficient in Adobe Creative Suite and experienced in translating conceptual ideas into visually appealing designs, I am eager to embark on a career in graphic design and apply my artistic talents to contribute to innovative design projects.

#5. Entry-Level CV Personal Statement Examples

Check out a CV personal statement for an entry-level paralegal :

Paralegal CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated and detail-oriented recent graduate with an Associate degree in Legal Studies, I am eager to launch a career as a paralegal, bringing strong research, organizational, and communication skills. I am excited to contribute to a dynamic legal team where I can use a solid understanding of legal procedures and a commitment to maintaining the highest ethical standards.

Here’s an example of a virtual assistant CV personal statement:

Virtual Assistant CV Personal Statement Example

Tech-savvy and highly organized professional seeking an entry-level virtual assistant position. With proficiency in office software and platforms, I am well-equipped to handle administrative tasks such as managing calendars and coordinating meetings efficiently. I am eager to contribute my multitasking abilities and proactive approach to help streamline operations and enhance overall productivity in a virtual work environment.

This is what a good entry-level office manager personal statement should look like:

Office Manager CV Personal Statement Example

An enthusiastic and detail-oriented professional with a degree in Business Administration and a strong foundation in office management and administration. Through internships, I demonstrated the ability to coordinate daily operations, manage office supplies, and ensure a smooth workflow. Eager to use my organizational skills and proactive mindset to contribute to a positive and efficient work environment through effective communication and problem-solving.

Take a look at an example of a personal statement for a nurse CV:

Nurse CV Personal Statement Example

A compassionate and dedicated medical professional with an Associate degree in nursing. Through my coursework and clinical rotations, I gained a solid foundation in medical procedures as well as hands-on experience in patient care, medication administration, and treatment planning. I am seeking an opportunity to apply my knowledge and commitment to providing high-quality care.

Final Thoughts

To compel a recruiter to read your curriculum vitae to the very end, you need to grab their attention immediately. The best way to do it is by including a CV personal statement.

Though a bit tricky to write, this brief section of your CV is well worth the effort. Hopefully, our guide will ease the struggle and help you create an eye-catching personal statement and land that dream job!

Create your resume once, use it everywhere

Think you can get into a top-10 school? Take our chance-me calculator... if you dare. 🔥

Last updated August 7, 2024

Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

Liked that? Try this next.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Colleges

How to Show Demonstrated Interest

Everything You Need to Know about Academics & GPA

How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers

"the only actually useful chance calculator i’ve seen—plus a crash course on the application review process.".

Irena Smith, Former Stanford Admissions Officer

We built the best admissions chancer in the world . How is it the best? It draws from our experience in top-10 admissions offices to show you how selective admissions actually works.

Explore Jobs

• Jobs Near Me
• Remote Jobs
• Full Time Jobs
• Part Time Jobs
• Entry Level Jobs
• Work From Home Jobs

Find Specific Jobs

• $15 Per Hour Jobs
• $20 Per Hour Jobs
• Hiring Immediately Jobs
• High School Jobs
• H1b Visa Jobs

Explore Careers

• Business And Financial
• Architecture And Engineering
• Computer And Mathematical

Explore Professions

• What They Do
• Certifications
• Demographics

Best Companies

• Health Care
• Fortune 500

Explore Companies

• CEO And Executies
• Resume Builder
• Career Advice
• Explore Majors
• Questions And Answers
• Interview Questions

How To Write A Personal Statement (With Examples)

• Resume Tips

Best Resume Writing Services

• Things To Avoid On A Resume
• Resume Paper To Use
• What To Include In A Resume
• How To Write A Bio
• How To Write A Personal Statement
• Lied on Your Resume?
• Avoid Age Discrimination
• Words and Phrases You Shouldn't Include in Your Resume
• How Many Skills Should You List On A Resume
• Send A Resume As A Pdf
• Resume Critique
• Make A Resume Stand Out
• Resume Spelling
• Resume Past Or Present Tense
• How To List Projects On A resume
• Best Resume Action Words
• How To Quantify Your Resume
• Resume Bullet Points
• Are Resume Writers Worth It
• How Many Jobs To List On Resume

Whether you want to apply to colleges, graduate programs, or competitive jobs, writing a persuasive personal statement will give you a leg up over the other applicants. A personal statement gives you a chance to express your qualifications, motivations, and long-term objectives in a way that gets hiring managers and admissions boards excited to meet you.

No matter why you’re writing a personal statement, we’re here to help you stand out from the crowd.

Key Takeaways:

To write a personal statement, first brainstorm, then narrow down your ideas, and start with an intro that leads into your qualifications.

Make sure to proofread your personal statement before submitting.

Personal statements describe your interests, skills, and goals, with a particular focus on your passion.

Personal statements are typically found in academia, however some professional organizations may also request one.

What Is a Personal Statement?

How to write a personal statement, tips for writing a strong personal statement, questions to ask yourself when writing a personal statement, when do i need a personal statement, academic personal statement examples, professional personal statement example, personal statement faq.

• Sign Up For More Advice and Jobs

A personal statement is a written work that describes your skills, areas of interest, accomplishments, and goals. It is typically included with a college or scholarship application, and sometimes used as part of job applications as well.

Personal statements are a chance for you to show an admissions board or a hiring committee what makes you special outside of your resume . Think of it as an in-depth cover letter where you get to detail not only your skills, but why you’re so passionate about the subject.

Short of an interview, it’s the best way to show your personality in a way that (hopefully) convinces someone to hire or admit you.

When you’re ready to write your statement, there are a few ways you can approach it. We’re going to go over a seven-step process so you can keep your thoughts organized and work through a process. Feel free to switch up the method, so it works for you.

Understand the prompt. Before you put pen to paper, make sure you understand the prompt and what is being asked of you. If there’s a specific set of questions you need to respond to, make sure you frame your thinking that way instead of just choosing a topic.

Brainstorm. Think of some ideas and an outline before you start writing. Consider how you can answer the prompt you’re given and what unique experiences you can bring to the table. The more options you have, the better off you’ll be.

Narrow it down. An excellent way to pick your final approach to draft a statement would be to jot down a few sentences for each idea you had. This helps you tell what topic is easiest to write about or what you feel most confident. No matter how you narrow down your ideas, you need to settle on the strongest one to convey your qualifications.

Start with an intro. Once you’re ready to write, you’ll want to write your opening paragraph first. This is a chance for you to introduce yourself and let people know who you are. Try to keep this paragraph short since it’s just an intro, and you’ll have more space to get into your qualifications in the next paragraph.

Write about your qualifications. When you write about your skills, make sure you align them with the job description or the program’s goals or university.

You can expand this section to a few paragraphs (if word count allows) and be sure to cover your achievements, qualifications, skills, talents, goals, and what you can bring to the program or organization.

One to three body paragraphs should suffice, with scholarship and graduate school personal statements being the longest of the bunch, and job personal statements being the shortest.

Sum up your argument. Your statement is a persuasive argument for why the committee should pick you. It should be a compelling summary of your qualifications, and it should show that you have a clear desire to work for the company.

Proofread. Look for any spelling or grammar errors and check to make sure your writing is clear and concise. Cut out anything that doesn’t fit or help paint a good picture of what kind of student or employee you are. You might want to show your draft to a few people to ensure everything sounds right.

No matter what approach you take to writing your statement, a few things hold. We’ll give you some tips to make your statement stand out from the rest.

Write to your audience. Chances are you have a good idea of who will be reading your application and personal statement, so try to gear your writing toward them. Think of what will persuade or impress them and incorporate that into your writing.

Stay truthful. It might be tempting to exaggerate the truth or smudge a little bit, but make sure you stay truthful. If you claim to have skills or experience that you don’t have and land the job, it might be pretty easy to tell that your writing doesn’t exactly align with your experience.

Tell a story. If you can, try to weave your narrative into a story. Not only will it be more engaging for your reader, but it will also show if you can use your skill to create a story. It doesn’t need to be elaborate, but tying everything together into a narrative will impress your readers.

Use your voice. To make your statement more personal and unique, you should write in your voice. Don’t try to copy examples of statements you find or let your editor drown out what makes you unique. Make sure you keep your personality and qualifications front and center since it’s a personal statement.

Get specific. Instead of generally talking about skills you have, find ways to show your reader when you used those skills. Being specific and giving examples will make your argument more compelling and show your reader that you’re a master.

Use simple language. Since personal statements are so short, it’s not the time for long and complex sentences. Keep it concise and easy to read. You don’t want to risk confusing your reader since committees usually have a few minutes to consider your candidacy, and you don’t want to lose their attention.

Sometimes, especially during the brainstorm process, it can help to ask yourself questions to get your mind focused. These questions can help realize what you want to write in your personal statement.

Some questions you can ask yourself include:

“Why am I interested in this application? What about it makes me want to apply?”

“What are my strengths and weaknesses?”

“What type of work gets me excited and deeply engaged?”

“What is my life story and how does it relate to this application?”

“Where do I want to go?”

“Who do I want to be?”

“What have I learned from my past?”

“How can I explain my past experiences?”

“How would my friends and family describe me to a stranger?”

“What obstacles have I overcome and how does it make me who I am today?”

Asking yourself questions like these will open up your mind to new ideas on how to write your personal statement.

You may need to write a personal statement for a university, scholarship, or job application.

University application. When you’re writing a personal statement for a school application, you’ll usually have a few paragraphs to get your point across. These prompts tend to be more open-ended and give you a chance to explain why you want to attend that school, how you align with their program, and why you are an excellent fit for the school’s culture.

A personal statement for a graduate program needs to be much sharper and more focused. At this point in your education, you’re expected to know precisely where you’d like to turn your academic focus and be able to communicate that efficiently.

Scholarship application. When you need to write a personal statement for a grant or scholarship application, you want to make sure you align your values and purpose with the providers. These can be tricky to write, but they’re like a careful balance between personal statements for school and work.

Job application. For work-related personal statements, you’ll want to focus on your skills and qualifications more than your personality. Employers are more concerned with how you can meet their skill requirements. Professional personal statements tend to be shorter, so there’s less space to talk about anything but your qualifications.

Here are two examples of shorts personal statement for graduate program applications:

From the moment I stepped into the lab, smelled the clean scent of fresh lab coats, and saw the beakers glistening under the light, I felt an excitement to learn that hasn’t left me since. Each time I enter the lab, I feel the same flutter of my heart and a sense of purpose. I want to continue to chase this feeling while contributing to a broader scientific knowledge catalog, which I know the Graduate Biology Program at City University will allow me to do. I want to continue the research I started in college on communicable diseases while gaining a critical education. City University’s program emphasizes in-class and hands-on learning, a perfect combination for my learning style.

As a graduate of State University with a B.S. in Biology, I have the foundation to build my knowledge and experience. While at State University, I worked in a lab researching the efficacy of a new flu vaccine. There, I managed other student researchers, worked as a liaison between the professor running the lab and students and managed the data reports. I am ready to bring my extensive experience to City University classrooms while learning from my peers. I am eager to begin the coursework at City University, and I believe I am uniquely prepared to contribute to the campus culture and research efforts. I look forward to stepping into City University’s lab in the fall and feeling the familiar excitement that drives me to pursue a graduate program and learn more about public health.

If you need to write a professional personal statement, here’s a sample you can model yours after:

As a recent graduate of State University with a B.A. in Communications, I am prepared to take what I have learned in the classroom and bring my work ethic and go-getter attitude to ABC Company. I believe that I have the skills and experience to excel as a Marketing Coordinator from my first day. My classes in Digital Communication, Social Media Marketing, and Business Management and my work as Outreach Chair of the university newspaper have prepared me to take on responsibilities as I learn more about the field. I also believe that my dedication to animal welfare aligns with the ABC Company’s goal of finding loving homes for all of their foster pets and makes me especially interested in this position.

What do I write in a personal statement?

A personal statement should include an introduction, your relevant skills/experiences, and your goals. You want to keep your personal statement relevant for the program or job in question. Make sure to show your passion and indicate what you’d like to do with the degree or opportunity.

How do you start off a personal statement?

Start your personal statement by introducing yourself. Give a brief snapshot of your background that also describes why you’re passionate about this field or area of study in particular. Another powerful way to start off a personal statement is with a significant accomplishment that immediately speaks to your relevant skill set and experience.

What exactly is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a brief statement that sums up your qualifications. A personal statement is a brief written document that university admissions boards, scholarship programs, and sometimes hiring managers require from applicants. A personal statement’s purpose is to show the reader that you are qualified, fully invested in the aims of the program, and have plans for what you would do if granted the opportunity.

How do you write a 500-word personal statement?

To write a 500-word personal statement, start by writing without worrying about the word count. If your personal statement is too long, look for sentences that include skills, experiences, or qualifications that aren’t strictly related to the requirements or aims of the program/job you’re applying for and remove them.

If your personal statement is too short, go back to the program, scholarship, or job description. Make note of the preferred experiences and required skills. For example, if you’ve included a skill in your personal statement without experience to back it up, consider adding a brief story that shows you putting that skill into action.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating / 5. Vote count:

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Amanda is a writer with experience in various industries, including travel, real estate, and career advice. After taking on internships and entry-level jobs, she is familiar with the job search process and landing that crucial first job. Included in her experience is work at an employer/intern matching startup where she marketed an intern database to employers and supported college interns looking for work experience.

Related posts

How To Quantify Your Resume (With Examples)

What Is Resume Paper? (And How To Choose The Best Kind)

Should A Resume Be Past Or Present Tense?

• Career Advice >

Build my resume

• Build a better resume in minutes
• Resume examples
• 2,000+ examples that work in 2024
• Resume templates
• Free templates for all levels
• Cover letters
• Cover letter generator
• It's like magic, we promise
• Cover letter examples
• Free downloads in Word & Docs

11 Entry-Level Resume Examples That Landed Jobs in 2024

Entry-Level Accounting

Best for senior and mid-level candidates

There’s plenty of room in our elegant resume template to add your professional experience while impressing recruiters with a sleek design.

Resume Builder

Like this template? Customize this resume and make it your own with the help of our Al-powered suggestions, accent colors, and modern fonts.

• Entry-Level Resumes A-L
• Entry-Level Resumes M-Z
• Writing Your Resume

Writing a resume for an entry-level anything can be stressful—luckily, Michael had a pretty good idea of how to spin college and internship experiences in his favor. But how should he showcase his skills on paper and build a resume that would lead him toward a bright future?

A bit nervous, but excited to take on the challenge of landing an entry-level accounting job, Michael reviewed some resume tips while researching his next steps. He loved the idea of including a “Projects” section to really highlight his ambition and investment in learning more about his field. And boy, was he excited when he landed that start date!

If you’re eager to build your own success story, read on for more advice and entry-level resume examples to go with your AI cover letter !

Entry-Level Accounting Resume

or download as PDF

Why this resume works

• Highlight your numeracy and research skills and familiarity with accounting tools, such as QuickBooks and Excel.

Learn how to land a job

Get the free 4-day email course for college students and recent grads.

Entry-Level Data Analyst Resume Example

• These projects don’t have to be huge open-source types with thousands of users. Did you ever build a project to scratch your own itch? Then talk about it!
• Need more room? These story-telling details are a perfect storm for an effective entry-level cover letter .
• If you’ve had the chance to have an internship experience, then be sure to quantify the impact of that work on your entry-level data analyst resume. Did you save time? Increase revenue? Improve customer satisfaction? Any way to quantify your results will  improve the quality of your resume .

Entry-Level Engineer Resume

• Starting your engineering career is a classic catch-22. When you’re trying to get your first engineering job, employers say you need experience. But to get engineering experience, you have to get your first engineering job. Cue endless cycle.
• But although employers “require” you to have experience, what they really want is for you to have the skills to complete the job.  More often than not, all you need is a degree and some soft skills  like organization and project management in your  resume’s skills section .
• Tailor it to match the  job description’s  keywords, including them in a few of your work experience bullet points and your  resume objective  (if you decide to use an objective).
• Lastly, if you’re freshly out of school, you can leverage any projects you worked on that apply to the listed requirements. They’re an excellent way to show your skills and initiative in place of work history. 

Entry-Level Healthcare Resume

• Starting off with the  right resume template  and  formatting your resume properly  can save you oodles of time and set you in the right direction as you begin writing your entry-level healthcare resume.
• Work in the form of internships, volunteering, projects, and surprisingly, even relevant  interests and hobbies can be included on your resume .

Entry-Level HR Resume

• Think about an internship, school project, or even coursework that polished a proficiency relevant to the role. See how James gives his entry level HR resume a clever twist by pointing to his successful “Navigating Workplace Harmony” project presentation and research for the “HR Trends in Modern Workplace” project.

Entry-Level Marketing Resume

• As a marketer, you know that the most important metric you ultimately need to drive is revenue. If you’ve had a marketing internship when applying for your first full-time role, you should focus on how your marketing efforts impacted the bottom line.
• Volunteering for a local business or charity to help them with marketing is a great way to get some preliminary marketing experience under your belt. You can then leverage this experience into landing your first full-time marketing role. 
• In the  resume skills section  of your entry-level marketing analyst resume be sure to state all of the channels (both paid and organic) that you’re comfortable with. Since you’re looking for an entry-level role, this list doesn’t need to be exhaustive! It’s okay if that’s one to two channels when you start your career.

Entry-Level Nurse Resume

• Vividly show your achievements in your entry-level nurse resume as an educator and highlight your voluntary roles to benefit disadvantaged groups.

Entry-Level Phlebotomy Resume

• When well-aligned with the hiring company’s needs and goals, a career objective does wonders. It parades your ambition and commitment—some real heavyweights that could set you apart from the competition, regardless of your low experience level.

Entry-Level Recruiter Resume

• Lead with your strengths on your entry-level recruiter resume. More often than not, this will be your education.
• As you progress in your career, your education section will take up less and less space on your resume, but right now, it’ll consume a sizable amount of real estate. Starting with a  resume outline  can help you fill in some of these important details. 
• These statements can, however, set your resume apart from the crowd when customized to the target job:
• Great objectives (for entry-level) and summaries (for 10+ years of experience) mention the business by name, use power-packed, concise language, and sprinkle some metrics describing previous job achievements.

Entry-Level Sales Resume

• Having a job, regardless of what it is, demonstrates responsibility—one of the most in-demand skills for entry-level candidates.
• With that said, you should still try to make your experience as relevant as possible to the sales role you’re applying for. For example, to be successful in sales, you need effective time management skills. Thankfully, almost all jobs require the ability to manage time, so it’s an inherently universal and valuable skill!

Entry-Level Software Developer Resume

• Listing one to two programming languages you know really well is much wiser than mentioning four to five languages you have novice familiarity with. You’ll end up looking foolish—or worse, dishonest during the interview!
• If you include a  skill on your resume , you should be comfortable answering interview questions about it.

Related resume guides

• College Graduate
• Grad School
• Administrative Assistant

Writing Your Entry-Level Resume

There’s no silver bullet when it comes to  resume templates . You can use nearly any template and make an effective entry-level resume. Just be sure to follow a few rules:

• Make sure your resume is readable. Make the job of the person reviewing your resume as easy as possible.
• Keep your resume to one page. Your resume should only stretch to two pages when you have five or more years of experience.
• The resume sections you need: work experience, skills, education, and contact info. The rest are optional.
• Please, please, avoid spelling and grammar errors. Triple-check your resume; then, have a friend read it.

All of these rules are in service of one goal: make it as easy as possible for the person reviewing your resume to come away convinced that you deserve an interview for the role you’re applying to.

Stretching your resume to two pages or inserting big blocks of text goes directly against this goal.

Insert plenty of white space, avoid really small font, and use big headings.

Resume summary or sesume objective?

Have you ever opened a book or article because the title was compelling just to read the introduction to be disappointed?

Think of the  resume summary  or  resume objective  as the introduction paragraph to your resume.

Before we dive into how to make an effective summary or objective, let’s get some definitions out of the way:

• Resume summary: Used for experienced professionals to recap some of their career highlights.
• Resume objective: A short statement of a candidate’s key skills or qualifications as well as why they’re a good fit for a specific job.

As you can imagine, a resume objective is more suitable for an entry-level candidate.

Keep in mind that, unlike an introduction for a book, a resume objective is not required for your resume.

In fact, 95 percent of entry-level resumes should omit a resume objective!

Why? Because most resume objectives don’t increase a candidate’s chances of getting an interview.

To ensure you write a resume objective in the top five percent of applicants, follow these rules:

• Customize it for each job you apply to.
• Don’t be afraid to be personal about why you’re interested in the role or career you’re applying to.
• Keep it to two to three sentences. Any more and it will be ignored by the hiring manager.
• State your top one to two qualifications for the role you’re applying for.

I know, this seems like a lot to fit in two to three sentences. To help give you some inspiration, here are a few examples of effective entry-level resume objectives.

Entry-level resume objective examples

• “Prospective data analyst who strives to pose and answer questions with quantitative-driven insights. Through the development of personal projects I’ve learned the importance of having an iterative, hypothesis-oriented approach to analysis and I’m excited to leverage that approach at Acme Corp as a data analyst.”
• “Recent computer science graduate with a passion for developing scalable web applications and working across the full stack. I’ve built two web apps from the ground up using React, Node, and PostgreSQL.”
• “Retail sales associate with experience working directly with customers to ensure their satisfaction. Looking for an opportunity to work for a KPI-focused organization where I can grow like Acme Corp.”
• “Recent marketing graduate with a passion for developing scale-able acquisition strategies through paid acquisition and SEO. I have experience creating and improving campaigns in the context of a big team and I worked independently to help local organizations start and grow their user acquisition.”

Make any experience relevant

What on earth are you supposed to include on your entry-level resume when you don’t yet have relevant experience?

The answer, frankly, is anything that you can make seem relevant to the role you’re applying for.

I’m a firm believer that any work experience has skills that are transferable to other jobs.

Hiring managers understand that early in your career you may not have a ton of relevant industry experience to draw on.

That’s okay! Having a job, whether that’s a part-time summer job or an entirely unrelated full-time position demonstrates responsibility.

So don’t be hesitant to include any employment you’ve had in the past. Own it!

Still, there is another way to demonstrate to prospective employers that you’re qualified to do the entry-level job you’re applying to: projects.

These can be projects you did as part of a class or projects you undertook to satiate your own curiosity. Projects demonstrate a few things to employers:

• You have a real interest in the industry you’re seeking employment in.
• You take initiative (a very desirable trait for entry-level candidates).
• A level of expertise in your field.

Projects can truly be anything. To give you a better sense of that, here are some project ideas for different entry-level positions:

Project ideas for entry-level resumes

• Did you build a social media following for a club or organization you were part of or implement a successful SEO initiative?
• As part of a class, did you build out a comprehensive case study or hiring process for a real or fictional company? Talk about it.
• Did you build a web app to help your friends decide on which movie to watch next? What kind of programs have you developed in class?
• Can you do a deep dive on a company you’re interested in and build a presentation around a new market they can expand into or a new product offering they can develop?
• Can you try to join a hackathon and shape the vision of a product to build? Can you choose your favorite consumer web app and detail any changes you’d make?
• Pose a question you’ve always wanted to answer; then collect and analyze data to answer that question and put it in a blog post.

Which skills should you include?

When it comes to the skills to include on your entry-level resume, it’s better to include a few skills you know very well than a laundry list of skills you kind of know.

Put yourself in the shoes of the hiring manager. Isn’t it a little suspicious for an entry-level candidate to be an expert in 10+ skills?

You should include your relevant skills in a dedicated  “skills” section on your resume  and also include the context in which you used those skills in a work experience or project.

How do you know what skills to list for a given job?

• If you’re looking for a technical role, be sure to include programming languages or relevant technologies.
• Read the job description of the job you’re applying to.
• If so, list those skills!
• If not, are there skills mentioned in the job description you have that weren’t on your list?

It’s important to customize the skills that you include on your resume for each job you’re applying to because before a human reads your resume, an automated system called an Applicant Tracking System (ATS) will read it.

The ATS is checking whether or not your resume contains certain keywords mentioned in the job description. So it’s worth the time to customize your skills section for each entry-level role you’re applying to!

• We’ll show you how, step-by-step • Real, practical tips and tools • 100% free

• • Analyzed and mitigated 50+ cyber threats weekly, improving system security by 30%.
• • Implemented new firewall configurations that decreased breach attempts by 40%.
• • Led a team project to develop an intrusion detection system, which was adopted across the company.
• • Managed security protocols for sensitive information, ensuring compliance with federal regulations.
• • Streamlined vulnerability assessment processes, reducing detection time by 25%.
• • Conducted comprehensive network surveillance that decreased unauthorized access incidents by 20%.
• • Supported daily IT security operations, enhancing overall network security.
• • Assisted in the management of endpoint security, effectively reducing malware incidents by 50%.
• • Participated in the rollout of new security software updates across 500+ company computers.
• • Helped conduct weekly security audits, identifying critical vulnerabilities.
• • Contributed to the development of security policies, resulting in improved data protection protocols.
• • Provided IT support and improved network setups for local youth centers.
• • Educated over 300 individuals, enhancing community knowledge and security awareness.

5 Entry-Level Resume Examples & Guide for 2024

Learn how to write an outstanding entry-level resume and make up for your lack of experience by focusing on skills and education.

All resume examples in this guide

Traditional

Resume Guide

How to format an entry-level resume

How to write your entry-level resume experience

How to list your hard and soft skills on your resume, how to list certifications and education on your resume, how to write a successful entry-level objective, additional sections for an entry-level resume, key takeaways.

Stepping into the job market for the first time can feel like setting sail on uncharted waters—it’s exciting but a little bit daunting. Crafting an entry-level resume is your first port of call, and believe it or not, it's your secret weapon to navigating these waters successfully.

Did you know that recruiters spend an average of just 7 seconds looking at a resume ? That's hardly enough time to sip your coffee! This means your resume needs to hook their attention fast and hold it tight.

Writing a great entry-level resume is much like telling a good story. It should have a clear beginning, a compelling middle, and a strong end. Your job is to make sure that this story not only captures who you are but also resonates with what hiring managers are seeking. Remember, it’s not just about listing your qualifications—it’s about showcasing your potential.

Let’s dive in and discover how to plant the seeds of your career with a resume that grows interest and garners opportunities. Keep your chin up—every big career has to start somewhere, and yours starts with crafting a resume that stands out from the stack.

In this article, we’re going to cover:

• The best way to format your entry-level resume as well as the top sections to focus on and several things that recruiters are looking out for.
• How to effectively target and craft your work experience entries to make a meaningful impact.
• Why it’s crucial to list a variety of relevant hard and soft skills throughout your resume.
• The most successful ways to detail your education and certifications on an entry-level resume.
• How to create a compelling and attractive personal statement to act as a magnet to the recruiter’s eyes.
• Some very beneficial, although additional, sections to top off your resume and give you that extra appeal.

Here are some great guides for career-specific entry-level resumes:

• Entry-Level Mechanical Engineer Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Programmer Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Software Developer Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Financial Analyst Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Business Analyst Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Customer Service Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Digital Marketing Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Software Engineer Resume Guide
• Entry-Level System Administrator Resume Guide
• Entry-Level Cover Letter Guide

According to a study by the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) , nearly 80% of employers expressed intentions to hire recent college graduates. This indicates a strong market for entry-level positions as companies continue to value fresh talent with up-to-date education and new perspectives.

How to format an entry-level resume

When you're ready to launch your career, crafting the right entry-level resume is like picking the perfect outfit for a first date—it needs to make a good impression quickly. Here are the main resume formats  you can choose from, each tailored to different types of job seekers:

• Reverse chronological format :  This format lists your most recent job experiences or achievements first and works backward. It's great for those who have a straightforward career path in the field they're applying to, showing a clear progression in roles, which isn’t usually possible for an entry-level applicant.
• Functional format :  Focuses more on your skills and less on your job history. This is ideal for candidates who may have gaps in their employment, are changing careers, or have skills that are strong but not necessarily gained through traditional employment.
• Hybrid format :  Combines elements of both chronological and functional formats. It lists skills and qualifications first, followed by employment history. This format is useful for entry-level applicants who want to highlight relevant skills up front, while still providing a timeline of their work history.

For entry-level resumes, the hybrid format is often best.  It allows you to showcase the skills and education relevant to the job upfront, while still outlining your professional and personal development over time.

Further considerations for crafting your resume:

Resume designs:

• Margins:  Stick to 1-inch margins  to keep the layout clean and uncluttered.
• Colors:  Use subtle colors on your resume  if any (like blues or greys) to maintain professionalism.
• Fonts:  Choose easy-to-read resume fonts  like Arial, Times New Roman, Rubik, or Calibri, and keep the size between 10 and 12 points.
• Columns:  Single-column formats are generally best for ATS compatibility.
• Length:  Keep your resume length  to one page, especially for entry-level positions.

Contact information  ( resume header ):

• Address:  Generally, your city and state suffice; no need for a full address .
• Links:  Include professional links like your  LinkedIn profile  or digital portfolio.
• Photo presence:  Typically, it's advisable to leave resume photos  off to avoid any unconscious biases.

ATS compatibility:

• Keywords:   Use keywords from the job description  throughout your resume.
• Simple formatting:  Avoid headers, footers, tables, or other complex formatting that might confuse the ATS.

File formatting, naming convention, etc.:

• File format: Save your resume as a PDF  to preserve the formatting unless otherwise specified.
• Naming convention:  Use a professional format for naming your file, such as ‘FirstName LastName Resume’.

By keeping these points in mind, you can create a resume that not only looks good but also passes through ATS systems  smoothly, ensuring it gets into the hands of a human recruiter. Remember, your resume is your stepping stone into the professional world, so make it count!

Have you already got a resume? See how it holds up with Enhacv’s ATS Resume Scanner !

Is your resume good enough?

Drop your resume here or choose a file . PDF & DOCX only. Max 2MB file size.

Here are the essential elements every entry-level resume needs to contain.

The top sections on an entry-level resume:

• Contact information:  Essential for the recruiter to reach you.  
• Education:  Shows your formal training and qualifications.  
• Skills section: Highlights relevant abilities and expertise.
• Work experience:  Demonstrates practical application of skills.
• Certifications:  Validates specialized knowledge and skills.

When you apply for an entry-level position, be sure to mention the following aspects.

What recruiters want to see on your resume:

• Relevant educational background:  Indicates foundational knowledge necessary for the role.
• Internships or part-time experience:  Shows practical experience and application of skills.
• Technical skills:  Highlights specific capabilities required for the job.
• Soft skills:  Demonstrates interpersonal and problem-solving abilities.
• Project involvement:  Reflects hands-on experience and contributions to relevant projects.

The work experience section is usually the first thing you would work on. Applying for an entry-level position often means that the candidate won’t have any directly relevant experience, so choosing what to list as work history is essential as it needs to align with the job description.

Listing work experience  on an entry-level resume is crucial as it showcases your practical application of skills, adaptability, and commitment to the workforce, even if the roles are part-time, internships, or in unrelated fields.

Unlike regular resumes that focus on career progression and achievements, entry-level resumes often highlight learning experiences, growth, and potential.

Each work experience entry should include the job title, company name, location, dates of employment, and bullet points of responsibilities and achievements.  These elements show your role's relevance and your impact, helping employers gauge your skills and how they might translate to the job at hand.

Each entry should be concise, using action verbs  to vividly describe your roles and professional accomplishments , making your experience compelling and relevant to potential employers.

Applying for your first job is a lot like making pancakes. The first one is always a bit rough, but you have to throw one out to get to the good stuff.

Let’s use this posting for an entry-level job opportunity in the field of software development for future reference and to illustrate proper resume targeting :

Job Title:  Entry Level Software Developer—Mentorship program and option to work remotely.

Company Introduction:  Join BestTech, a fast-growing company that values emerging technology talent. We’re committed to providing you with the necessary skills to succeed and offer a flexible schedule along with the opportunity to work alongside some of the industry's leading software developers.

Job Description:  We’re looking for a full-time, entry-level software developer eager to start their career. Ideal candidates are recent graduates seeking substantial career experience.

Salary:  $35,000 per year with opportunities for advancement and bonuses.

Top Benefits or Perks:

• Comprehensive mentoring from top industry professionals.
• Full benefits package including health, vision, and dental insurance.
• Generous paid time off.
• Remote work options to accommodate your lifestyle.

Location:  BestTech is based in Salt Lake City, Utah, known for its vibrant tech scene and stunning natural surroundings, offering an excellent quality of life and ample outdoor activities.

Application Process:  To apply, please send your resume to [email protected] by June 18, 2024. Selected candidates will be contacted for an interview.

Using the above job posting, let’s craft a couple of work history entries and see how to properly target them to the position you’re applying for and other best practices.

First, here’s an entry that most likely needs some improving:

• • Did stuff with computers.
• • Helped people sometimes.
• • Made things work better.

What they did wrong:

• Vague descriptions:  Terms like "Did stuff with computers" and "Helped people sometimes" are extremely vague and don’t provide any specifics about what the tasks entailed or how they relate to the software development role being applied for.
• Lack of relevance:  The work tasks listed don’t clearly connect to the skills or experiences valuable to a software development position. Even if the job wasn’t directly related, the candidate should highlight transferable skills or specific accomplishments.
• No measurable results:  The listing doesn’t quantify any achievements or explain how "Made things work better" was accomplished or measured.
• Improper use of terminology:  Casual language ("Did stuff", "things work better") lacks professionalism and fails to convey a serious attitude towards career development.
• Missed opportunity to highlight skills:  Even in unrelated jobs, there are often opportunities to discuss relevant soft skills or technical competencies gained, such as problem-solving or teamwork, which are completely missing here.

For an entry-level software developer position at a company like BestTech, it's crucial to tailor even unrelated job experiences in a way that highlights applicable skills and professional growth.

If you need more clarity, let Enhancv help! Check out our article on targeting your resume  and see how well your current resume performs.

Now that we know what’s wrong, let’s fix it!

• • Utilized software tools to manage customer orders efficiently, enhancing order accuracy by 15%.
• • Collaborated with a team of 5 to handle high-volume customer service scenarios, developing strong teamwork and communication skills.
• • Implemented a new method for tracking inventory that reduced waste by 10%, demonstrating problem-solving skills and attention to detail.

What was improved:

• Specificity in tasks: Descriptions are now clear and detailed, explaining exactly what was done and how it relates to skills relevant to software development, such as using software tools and implementing solutions.
• Relevance to the job:  Each point ties back to skills that are transferable to a software development role, such as problem-solving, efficiency improvement, and teamwork.
• Quantifiable achievements:  Achievements are quantified (e.g., "enhancing order accuracy by 15%", "reduced waste by 10%"), providing concrete evidence of the candidate's impact in previous roles.
• Professional terminology:  The language used is professional and appropriate for a resume, reflecting a serious approach to career development.
• Highlighted applicable skills:  The entry now highlights skills like teamwork, problem-solving, and the use of technology, which are crucial for the role at BestTech and show the candidate's potential beyond the specifics of their previous job environment.

This revised work history entry demonstrates how even seemingly unrelated experience can be framed in a way that showcases relevant skills and qualities for the target job.

Quantifying impact on an entry-level resume

Creating an impact on an entry-level resume by making it more number-oriented involves quantifying your experiences and accomplishments . Here's how and why this approach is beneficial:

How to create a number-oriented impact:

• Quantify achievements:  Whenever possible, add numbers to illustrate your achievements. For instance, if you completed a significant project, mention the scale (e.g., "Led a team of 5 in a project that resulted in a 10% increase in efficiency").
• Include metrics:  Use metrics to describe the impact of your internships, part-time jobs, or school projects. Examples include "Improved customer satisfaction by 15% through a new software implementation" or "Reduced data processing time by 30% through optimized code."

Why it's important:

• Demonstrates measurable impact:  Numbers provide concrete evidence of your capabilities and show that you understand the value of outcomes, not just tasks.
• Increases resume clarity:  Numbers break down your contributions into clear, digestible facts that are easy for hiring managers to understand at a glance.
• Enhances ATS performance: Many automated systems (ATS) that companies use to screen resumes are set to pick up on quantifiable data as indicators of a candidate’s potential impact.
• Sets you apart: In entry-level roles, where many candidates may lack extensive work experience, showing quantifiable achievements can differentiate you from others who only list duties.

Overall, incorporating numbers into your resume helps bridge the gap between theoretical knowledge and practical application, demonstrating your ability to contribute tangibly to potential employers. It makes your document more compelling and can often be the deciding factor in securing an interview.

More on ATS

Listing skills can significantly enhance the applicant tracking system (ATS) compatibility of a resume. Many companies use ATS software to scan resumes for keywords related to the skills required for the job. Including relevant skills not only tailors your resume specifically to the job you’re applying for but also increases the likelihood that your resume will pass through these digital filters and reach human eyes. This makes listing the right skills a strategic move for gaining visibility in a competitive job market, particularly when you may not have extensive work experience to stand out.

Having a skills section  on an entry-level resume is crucial, much like having the right bait on a fishing line when you're aiming to catch a big fish. At the start of your career, you may not have a lot of work experience or many professional accomplishments to showcase. However, your skills are key indicators of your potential to thrive in a job. They highlight what you’re capable of and how you can contribute to a company, making your resume more appealing to recruiters.

Essentially, they help you "hook" the interest of potential employers, demonstrating that you have what it takes to succeed in the role, even if you're just starting out.

When selecting skills for your resume, start by analyzing the job description to identify key skills the employer values. This is particularly important for an entry-level position.

Hard skills

Choosing the right hard skills to list on your resume  involves several strategic steps. Let’s consider the job posting from above for an entry-level software developer but they more or less are consistent for any position:

• Analyze the job description:  Carefully read the job posting to identify specific skills mentioned. For example, if the posting emphasizes proficiency in certain programming languages, software development methodologies, or tools, these should be prominently listed on your resume.
• Match your skills with job requirements : Align your actual skills with those requested in the job description. List those skills first that are directly mentioned in the job posting, as these are likely what the recruiters are prioritizing.
• Consider the company’s tech stack and culture:  Research BestTech’s technology stack and any specific tools or platforms they use, which can often be found on their website, in news articles, or tech blogs. If you have experience with any of these technologies, make sure to include them on your resume.
• Include relevant technical certifications:  If you have certifications that validate your proficiency in key skills required for the job (e.g., Oracle Certified Java Programmer, Certified ScrumMaster), include these as they provide official proof of your capabilities.
• List tools specific to the role:  Since this is a software development role, listing programming languages (like Java, Python, C++), development frameworks (like React or Angular), and other development tools (like Git, and Docker) that you’re proficient in is crucial.
• Prioritize modern and in-demand skills:  Given that BestTech is described as a fast-growing company valuing emerging technology talent, emphasize skills that are current and in high demand within the tech industry, such as cloud services (AWS, Azure), and continuous integration/continuous deployment processes.
• Showcase project management and development tools:  Since software development is often collaborative and iterative, showing familiarity with agile methodologies, project management tools (like JIRA or Trello), and version control systems (such as Git) can be particularly appealing.
• Tailor each application:  Customize the skills on your resume for each job application based on the job description and company profile. What works for one job application at one company might not be as effective at another.

By carefully selecting and prioritizing hard skills that align with the specific requirements and context of the job posting at BestTech or whatever Tech, you can create a targeted resume that stands out to recruiters and demonstrates your capability and fit for the role.

Below we’ve aligned our skillset with the previous job posting to better illustrate the technique. Have a look.

Targeted hard skills for your entry-level resume

• Java programming
• Python programming
• C++ development
• Git version control
• RESTful APIs
• React skills
• Agile methodology
• Docker containers
• Unit testing
• Continuous Integration/Continuous Deployment (CI/CD) processes
• Cloud services  (AWS, Azure)
• Linux operating system
• XML and JSON data formats
• Software debugging
• Angular framework
• TypeScript programming

Soft skills

Much like with hard skills, choosing the right soft skills , especially for a specific job posting like the Entry Level Software Developer, involves a strategic approach to match your qualifications with the employer’s expectations and the job’s requirements.

Here’s how you can determine the best soft skills to include:

• Analyze the job description:  Carefully read the job posting to identify key attributes or competencies the employer emphasizes. Look for any soft skills mentioned directly or implied through responsibilities and expectations. For instance, terms like "team collaboration," "flexible schedule," and "remote work" suggest valuing communication, adaptability, and self-management.
• Understand the company culture:  Research the company’s culture and values, often outlined in the job posting or on the company’s website. For BestTech, their commitment to mentoring and fostering emerging talent suggests they value continuous learning, receptiveness to feedback, and a collaborative nature.
• Reflect on role-specific needs:  Consider the daily responsibilities and overall goals of the role. Software development, especially at the entry level with mentoring, requires problem-solving, attention to detail, and creativity in technical solutions.
• Consider the work environment: Since the position offers options for remote work, skills like time management, self-motivation, and effective communication are crucial to perform tasks independently and stay connected with the team.
• Match your skills with requirements:  From your list of soft skills, choose those that best align with the job description and your understanding of the role and company culture. Ensure these skills are not only mentioned but are also substantiated by specific examples in the experience or achievements sections of your resume.
• Prioritize based on impact:  Select skills that can make the most significant impact on your application. For example, in a mentoring-rich and remote work environment, emphasize your ability to learn quickly, manage your time efficiently, and collaborate across digital platforms.
• Tailor and refine:  Tailor your resume for the specific job by focusing on the most relevant soft skills. It's better to provide a few highly relevant skills with concrete examples than to list many generic skills.

Below is a list of soft skills aligned with the BestTech job offer. Have a look and you’ll see the connections as well as some generally good skills to possess in a job hunt.

Targeted soft skills for your entry-level resume

• Effective communication
• Team collaboration
• Adaptability to change
• Problem-solving abilities
• Attention to detail
• Time management
• Creativity thinking
• Proactive learning attitude
• Empathy with team members
• Willingness to learn
• Leadership potential
• Conflict resolution
• Capacity to work under pressure
• Strong work ethic
• Organizational skills
• Client-oriented approach
• Initiative in project involvement
• Self-motivation

Now, let’s consider the other essential element of your application—your education.

Listing these elements on an entry-level resume is highly important, especially when work experience might be limited. This section of the resume provides a clear indication of your formal knowledge and training, which reassures employers of your foundational qualifications and readiness for the role.

An education section  shows your academic background and understanding of the field, while certifications and licensures are proof of specialized knowledge and skills that have been validated through standardized processes.

For jobs that require specific technical skills  or adherence to industry standards, these qualifications can be critical. They not only enhance your credibility but also set you apart from other candidates who may not have similar credentials. This is particularly essential in fields like healthcare, engineering, IT, and others where up-to-date knowledge and compliance with legal requirements are crucial for the position.

Let’s examine them a bit closer.

Education entry

An education listing on an entry-level resume should provide clear and concise information that highlights your academic achievements and relevancy to the job you’re applying for. Here's what it should typically include:

• Name of the degree:  Including the type of degree (e.g., Bachelor of Science, Master of Arts) shows the level of education attained.
• University or college name:  This offers credibility and recognition; prestigious or well-known institutions can particularly strengthen a resume.
• Graduation date:  Listing whether you have graduated or the expected graduation date helps employers understand your timeline.
• Grade point average  (if applicable): This is only a good idea if your GPA is 3.5 or above.
• Major and minor  (if applicable):  This shows your area of specialization which is especially important if it directly relates to the job.
• Relevant coursework , honors, and achievements (optional):  These can be included to show specific skills or academic excellence.

Here’s an excellent example based on the job offer above.

• • Relevant Coursework: Data Structures and Algorithms, Web Development, Machine Learning
• • Honors: Dean’s List 2021-2023, Recipient of the Tech Innovator Scholarship

This example is effective because it provides a clear snapshot of the candidate’s academic background, emphasizing areas that are relevant to potential employers in tech. It includes a high GPA and honors to underscore a commitment to excellence, and the relevant coursework directly aligns with the skills needed for the targeted job offer.

Such entries help to paint a comprehensive picture of the candidate as a capable and driven individual who’s prepared to transition successfully into the professional world.

Certification and licensure

A certification section  or licensure on an entry-level resume should clearly outline the qualification, issuing organization, and the date of acquisition or expiry if relevant. This information highlights specialized skills and compliance with industry standards, which can be crucial for certain positions.

Here’s what an entry should look like.

• • Java SE 8 Programmer
• • Issued: June 2023

This example is effective because it provides all essential details in a clear and concise manner. Mentioning a well-known certifying body like Oracle enhances the resume's strength, while the specificity of the certification (Java SE 8) clearly aligns with job requirements in the tech sector.

The recent date of issuance helps reassure potential employers of the candidate’s up-to-date knowledge and readiness to contribute effectively in a technical role.

Including such certifications can significantly enhance an entry-level candidate's appeal by showing commitment to their professional development and expertise in specific areas needed for the job.

The last significant section left to discuss is the personal statement  that lives at the beginning of all resumes and is perhaps the most important of all the parts. Let’s explore that more below.

Every pro was once an amateur. Every expert was once a beginner. So dream big and start now.

Robin Sharma

An objective statement  on an entry-level resume is a brief declaration of your career goals and how you aim to contribute to the company you're applying. It's important because it shows your direction and enthusiasm, which is crucial when you have limited work experience.

The objective is different from a resume summary , which instead of focusing on what you hope to gain, highlights what you already bring to the table—summarizing your skills, experiences, and achievements. For entry-level applicants, an objective can be more suitable to communicate ambition and potential when substantial experience isn’t yet a factor.

Let’s first have a quick look at what an insufficient objective statement consists of.

The above statement is lacking because it centers primarily on the applicant's desires for personal growth ("learn more about programming and improve my coding skills"), rather than emphasizing what they can offer to the company.

This self-focused approach does not align well with the needs of the offer from BestTech, which seeks candidates eager to contribute as well as grow. Additionally, the statement lacks specificity; it doesn't mention any particular skills or how the applicant's goals align with BestTech's mission or needs.

It also reads as generic and could apply to almost any software developer position at any company, indicating a lack of effort to tailor the resume to the specific role and company, thereby diminishing the applicant's chances of standing out in a competitive field.

A more effective objective would directly address the goals of BestTech, demonstrating the candidate's enthusiasm for contributing to the company's success and highlighting any relevant skills or experiences aligned with the job description.

Here’s a version that’s worthy of mimicking.

This one clearly aligns the candidate’s career goals with the company’s values and the specifics of the job, demonstrating a strong fit and a clear understanding of what the company offers.

There are several additional sections that you can include on an entry-level resume to help you stand out. These sections can showcase a broader range of qualifications and interests, making yourself more appealing to potential employers:

• Professional portfolio  or projects:  Including a section for relevant projects  or a portfolio can demonstrate practical skills and experience. This is especially valuable for roles in creative, technical, or project-based fields. This demonstrates your ability to apply theoretical knowledge in real-world scenarios.
• Volunteer experience:   Listing volunteer work  can be particularly impactful, demonstrating a commitment to the community and the development of soft skills like teamwork, leadership, and communication. This section can be crucial if you have limited work experience.
• Professional affiliations  and memberships:  This section shows active participation in professional organizations, which can be appealing to employers as it often indicates a candidate's dedication to their career field and ongoing professional development.
• Awards and honors :  Recognitions, whether academic or professional, can serve as a testament to your capability and excellence in various areas.
• Languages:   Listing language skills  can significantly enhance a resume, especially in roles that require communication with diverse populations or in global companies.
• Interests and hobbies :  While often overlooked, this section can offer insights into your personality and potential cultural fit within a company. Strategic mentions of interests that align with the company's culture or the role can make a resume more memorable.

Each of these sections provides an opportunity to present a more rounded picture of a candidate, beyond just educational and professional history. They add depth to a resume, showing initiative, diversity of skills, and a readiness to contribute in various areas, making the individual more attractive in a competitive job market.

When applying for an entry-level job, the most important thing to remember is to clearly demonstrate your potential and eagerness to learn!

Diving into crafting your entry-level resume is a bit like setting up your first domino in a chain—place it correctly, and you'll set off an impressive cascade of opportunities… or miss completely.

Here are the key takeaways from our guide to ensure your resume makes a splash:

• Tailor your resume format:  Choose a hybrid format combining relevant skills and chronological work experience to showcase your capabilities effectively.
• Optimize for ATS:  Include keywords from the job description and avoid complex formatting to ensure ATS compatibility.
• Highlight relevant skills:  Clearly list both hard and soft skills that align with the job requirements and company culture.
• Quantify achievements:  Where possible, use numbers to demonstrate the impact of your contributions in previous roles or projects.
• Detail your education (and certifications):  Include your degree, institution, graduation date, and any relevant honors or coursework.
• Objective statement:  Use this to show enthusiasm and clarity in your career goals, tailored to the company and position.

Remember that each job is unique and requires a targeted resume and cover letter. Do your research and take the time to tailor your application to the job offer —your chances of success will multiply significantly!

Entry Level resume examples

Explore additional entry level resume samples and guides and see what works for your level of experience or role.

Looking to build your own Entry Level resume?

• Resume Examples

How Do You End A Resume

How to submit a two weeks notice letter, the success journey: mark zuckerberg's pre-facebook resume, 5 tips to create a master resume and speed up tailored resume creation, 10 cv mistakes you need to avoid, the different ways of submitting a resume.

• Create Resume
• Terms of Service
• Privacy Policy
• Cookie Preferences
• Resume Templates
• AI Resume Builder
• Resume Summary Generator
• Resume Formats
• Resume Checker
• Resume Skills
• How to Write a Resume
• Modern Resume Templates
• Simple Resume Templates
• Cover Letter Builder
• Cover Letter Examples
• Cover Letter Templates
• Cover Letter Formats
• How to Write a Cover Letter
• Resume Guides
• Cover Letter Guides
• Job Interview Guides
• Job Interview Questions
• Career Resources
• Meet our customers
• Career resources
• English (UK)
• French (FR)
• German (DE)
• Spanish (ES)
• Swedish (SE)

© 2024 . All rights reserved.

Made with love by people who care.

Entry Level CV Example

Cv guidance.

• CV Template
• How to Format
• Personal Statements
• Related CVs

CV Tips for Entry Levels

• Highlight Your Education and Relevant Coursework : Detail your degree, major, and any relevant coursework that aligns with the job you're applying for. If you've taken specialized classes that are directly applicable to the role, make sure to include them.
• Showcase Internships and Volunteer Work : Even if you don't have much professional experience, internships and volunteer work can demonstrate your work ethic and commitment. Be sure to quantify your impact where possible.
• Customize Your CV for Each Role : Tailor your CV to match the job description, highlighting relevant skills and experiences. This shows employers that you've done your homework and are genuinely interested in the role.
• Detail Your Tech Proficiency : If you're proficient in any software or tools relevant to the job, be sure to include them. This could be anything from Microsoft Office Suite for a business role to Python for a programming role.
• Highlight Transferable Skills : Showcase skills like teamwork, leadership, problem-solving, and communication that are valuable in any job. Use examples from school projects, clubs, or part-time jobs to illustrate these skills.

The Smarter, Faster Way to Write Your CV

• Assisted in the development and implementation of a new customer relationship management system, resulting in a 30% increase in customer engagement and satisfaction.
• Conducted comprehensive market research and analysis, contributing to the development of a new product line that increased company revenue by 20%.
• Collaborated with the marketing team to create and implement a social media strategy that boosted online presence by 50% and attracted a younger demographic.
• Managed a project to streamline the company's data entry process, reducing errors by 15% and improving overall efficiency.
• Participated in a cross-functional team to develop a new company website, resulting in a 40% increase in online traffic and a 25% increase in online sales.
• Assisted in the creation of a comprehensive training program for new hires, reducing onboarding time by 30% and improving new hire productivity by 20%.
• Contributed to a team project that improved the company's supply chain management, resulting in a 10% reduction in costs and a 15% increase in efficiency.
• Assisted in the development of a new customer service protocol, leading to a 20% increase in customer satisfaction ratings.
• Participated in a company-wide initiative to reduce environmental impact, resulting in a 30% reduction in waste and a 20% reduction in energy consumption.
• Customer Relationship Management
• Market Research and Analysis
• Social Media Strategy Development
• Project Management
• Cross-Functional Team Collaboration
• Training Program Development
• Supply Chain Management
• Customer Service Protocol Development
• Environmental Impact Reduction
• Data Entry Process Streamlining

Entry Level CV Template

• Assisted [teams/departments] in [task or project, e.g., data entry, market research], demonstrating [soft skill, e.g., teamwork, attention to detail], and contributing to [result, e.g., project completion, improved efficiency].
• Managed [administrative task, e.g., scheduling meetings, organizing files], improving [process or task, e.g., office workflow, record keeping] to enhance [operational outcome, e.g., team productivity, data accessibility].
• Participated in [training or learning opportunity, e.g., professional development workshop, software training], gaining [new skill or knowledge, e.g., proficiency in Excel, understanding of project management] and applying it to [work task or responsibility, e.g., data analysis, project coordination].
• Contributed to [project or initiative, e.g., marketing campaign, customer service improvement], which led to [measurable impact, e.g., increased customer satisfaction, improved brand awareness].
• Performed [type of analysis, e.g., data analysis, market research], using [analytical tools/methods] to support [decision-making/action, e.g., marketing strategy, product development].
• Involved in [task or responsibility, e.g., customer service, sales reporting], ensuring [quality or standard, e.g., customer satisfaction, accuracy] across all [relevant output, e.g., customer interactions, sales reports].
• Major: Name of Major
• Minor: Name of Minor

100+ Free Resume Templates

How to format a entry level cv, start with a strong career objective, emphasize your educational background, highlight internships and relevant experiences, include a skills section, keep it concise and professional, personal statements for entry levels, entry level personal statement examples, what makes a strong personal statement.

Compare Your CV to a Job Description

CV FAQs for Entry Levels

How long should entry levels make a cv, what's the best format for an entry level cv, how does a entry level cv differ from a resume, related cvs for entry level.

Entry Level Underwriter CV

Catering Assistant CV

Consulting Intern CV

Fresher Electrical Engineer CV

Community Volunteer CV

Try our Free CV Builder

Top 22 Entry-Level Resume Objective Examples You Can Use

If you are making a resume or cv for an entry level position and need to learn how to craft an irresistible objective statement, then this post will be helpful to you.

The career objective statement is a vital part of your resume that can help grab and sustain the reader’s interest to read through your resume.

Therefore, you should give attention to the quality of objective statement that you produce for your resume.

To make a great resume that gets you an interview with an employer/recruiter, it is important to learn about various resume statistics before writing your resume. According to novoresume, these resume statistics will give you helpful insight into the prevailing HR trends, guide you in making the right decision about your job hunting, and in creating an effective resume.

How to Make a Great Entry Level Resume Objective Statement

To make a great entry level objective statement for resume entails showing the reader that you have what is required to succeed on the job.

When looking for the right individuals for an entry level position, employers usually publish a set of requirements they want candidates to have to be able to succeed on the role.

You can write an effective objective for an entry level resume by taking two steps:

• Study the job requirements to be sure you have them and are qualified to access the job. • Then use one or two major requirements in crafting the objective.

Your resume objective should highlight a major quality, experience, ability, and/or knowledge required by the employer to be effective in the entry level position.

It should present you as someone coming with valuable qualities for the good of the organization that is hiring.

To help you learn faster how to make a great entry level resume objective statement, here are 22 examples you can use:

1. Flexible individual knowledgeable in business principles. Looking to obtain an entry-level sales assistant position with Deckard Groups.

2. Forward-thinking individual with refined interpersonal and multitasking skills. Looking to join a progressive organization as an entry-level clerical assistant to provide high end clerical duties as assigned.

3. Seeking an entry-level teacher position with Jasper High School. Bringing outstanding knowledge of the English language to ease students with vocabulary studies.

4. Looking for an entry-level help desk assistant position with IRIS Corp to utilize my excellent communication skill in attending to customer issues and complaints.

5. Self-motivated individual with high school diploma and 2 years work experience in a business environment. Currently seeking an entry-level salesperson position to utilize my experience for business efficiency.

6. Desire an entry-level cashier position with Oakland Global to perform the recording of received amount of money and prepare reports on transaction with my proficiency in mathematics and statistics.

7. Business administrative graduate with 2 years of experience in a human resource department. Interested in an entry-level HR assistant position with Kelvin Corp to utilize IT knowledge in effectively managing employee information.

8. Looking to obtain an entry-level mechanical engineering position in a fast paced industry to utilize my knowledge as a degree holder in this field in performing my duties as assigned and to gain experience.

9. To give my best performance in an entry-level cost analyst position in your reputable organization, bringing strong knowledge of economics and statistics.

10. Resourceful individual with a high school diploma seeking to work in an entry-level capacity as a bookkeeper in a dynamic organization where I will put in my best effort for the company while gaining experience in the field.

11. To obtain a challenging but rewarding entry-level nursing assistant position with Griffin Clinic, providing support to doctors and nurses as they perform their duties.

12. Looking for an entry-level bursar position. Coming with an ability to run paperwork and maintaining documents and files.

13. Looking for a part-time secretarial assistant position in a fast paced environment utilizing ability to perform administrative and clerical functions to support the executive staff.

14. Result-oriented individual seeking an entry-level marketing position in a business environment where excellent persuasive skill will be utilized in attractive prospective customers.

15. Self-motivated individual with passion for children. Looking to gain employment in an entry-level capacity as an after school coordinator to help the children in their daily activities.

16. Possess the ability to design and develop web pages. Looking for an entry-level IT expert position in a dynamic organization.

17. To secure an entry-level health care assistant position with Sine Hospital. Coming with the knowledge and ability to administer drugs and diagnosis when assigned to do so.

18. Experienced individual seeking to advance my career in an entry-level financial advisor position with the ability to make good financial decision in a business firm.

19. Focused individual with a Human Resource Management degree. Seeking an entry-level recruitment coordinator position to apply knowledge of communication protocols and ability to oversee recruitment efforts in maintaining efficient human resources operations.

20. Performance-driven individual with exceptional engineering skills. Seeking an entry-level mechanical engineering position in a fast paced industry.

21. Highly motivated individual with the ability to attend to customers. Currently seeking an entry-level customer service position in a fast paced organization where excellent customer service will be utilized.

22. Desire to secure an entry-level sales representative position. Comes with exceptional ability to draw the attention of the public towards a product and thereby attracting customers.

Starting your entry level resume or cv with a powerful objective statement will no doubt increase the chances of success of the resume.

And the good thing is that you can learn how to create effective objectives for your entry level resumes whenever you need to write one.

The tips and samples presented in this post will help you make great entry level objectives and put your resume at a better chance of being read and favored positively by the employer .

Related Posts

This Site Uses Cookies

Privacy overview.

Entry Level CV example

Entry level roles are an exciting opportunity to launch your career in the direction that you choose.

With entry level roles, recruiting managers are looking for your long-term potential, flexibility and ability to learn, so these must be evidenced on your entry level CV.

Our comprehensive guide to writing an entry level CV will go through all of the different things you need to cover, and also includes an example entry level CV.

Guide contents

Entry Level CV example

• Structuring and formatting your CV
• Writing your CV profile
• Detailing work experience
• Your education
• Skills required for your Entry Level CV

CV templates 

This a good example of a Entry Level CV which contains all of the information that an employer would need to know, and presents it in a well- structured, easy-to-read manner.

Take some time to look at this CV and refer to it throughout the writing of your own CV for best results.

Entry Level CV structure and format

If you focus on the written content of your CV but ignore how it actually looks, your efforts could end up wasted.

No matter how suitable you are for the role, no recruiter wants to spend time squinting and trying to navigate a badly designed and disorganised CV.

Instead, make sure to organise your content into a simple structure and spend some time formatting it for ease of reading – it’ll get you in recruiter’s good books from the get-go!

Formatting Tips

• Length: Recruiters will be immediately put off by lengthy CVs – with hundreds of applications to read through, they simply don’t have the time! Grabbing their attention with a short, snappy and highly relevant CV is far more likely to lead to success. Aim for two sides of A4 or less.
• Readability : To help busy recruiters scan through your CV, make sure your section headings stand out – bold or coloured text works well. Additionally, try to use bullet points wherever you can, as they’re far easier to skim through than huge paragraphs. Lastly, don’t be afraid of white space on your CV – a little breathing space is great for readability.
• Design: When it comes to CV design, it’s best to keep things simple and sleek. While elaborate designs certainly command attention, it’s not always for the right reasons! Readability is key, so whatever you choose to do, make sure you prioritise readability above everything.
• Avoid photos: Don’t add photos, images or profile pictures to your CV. Not only do they take up much-needed CV space, but they’re actually completely unnecessary and won’t boost your CV at all.

Build your CV now 

Structuring your CV

As you write your CV , divide and sub-head into the following sections:

• Name and contact details – Always start with these, so employers know exactly how to get in touch with you.
• CV profile – Add a short summary of your relevant experience, skills and achievements, which highlights your suitability.
• Core skills section – A 2-3 columned list of your key skills.
• Work experience – A detailed list of any relevant work experience, whether paid or voluntary.
• Education – An overview of your academic background and any training you may have completed.
• Hobbies and interests – A brief overview of your hobbies and interests, if they’re relevant (optional).

Now I’ll guide you through exactly what you should include in each CV section.

CV Contact Details

Write your contact details in the top corner of your CV, so that they’re easy to find but don’t take up too much space.

You only need to list your basic details, such as:

• Mobile number
• Email address
• Location – Don’t list your full address. Your town or city, such as ‘Norwich’ or ‘Coventry’ is perfect.
• LinkedIn profile or portfolio URL – Remember to update these before listing them on an application.

Entry Level CV Profile

Recruiters read through countless applications every day.

If they don’t find what they’re looking for quickly, they’ll simply move onto the next one.

That’s what makes your CV profile (or personal statement , if you’re an entry-level/graduate candidate) so important.

This short and snappy summary sits at the top of your CV, and should give a high-level overview of why you’re a good match for the job.

This way, you can ensure that busy recruiters see your suitability from the outset, and so, feel your CV is worth their time.

Tips for creating an impactful CV profile:

• Keep it brief: The best CV profiles are short, sharp and highly relevant to the target role. For this reason, it’s best to write 3-4 lines of high-level information, as anything over might be missed.
• Tailor it: No matter how much time you put into your CV profile, it won’t impress if it’s irrelevant to the role you’re applying for. Before you start writing, make a list of the skills, knowledge and experience your target employer is looking for. Then, make sure to mention them in your CV profile and throughout the rest of your application.
• Don’t add an objective: If you want to discuss your career objectives, save them for your cover letter , rather than wasting valuable CV profile space.
• Avoid cliches: Cheesy clichès and generic phrases won’t impress recruiters, who read the same statements several times per day. Impress them with your skill-set, experience and accomplishments instead!

What to include in your Entry Level CV profile?

• Summary of experience: Start with a brief summary of your relevant experience so far. How many years experience do you have? What type of companies have you worked for? What industries/sectors have you worked in? What are your specialisms?
• Relevant skills: Employers need to know what skills you can bring to their organisation, and ideally they want to see skills that match their job vacancy. So, research your target roles thoroughly and add the most important Entry Level skills to your profile.
• Essential qualifications: Be sure to outline your relevant Entry Level qualifications, so that anyone reading the CV can instantly see you are qualified for the jobs you are applying to.

Quick tip: Even the best of writers can overlook typos and spelling mistakes. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to add pre-written content that has been created by recruitment experts, and proofread by our team.

Core skills section

Underneath your profile, create a core skills section to make your most relevant skills jump off the page at readers.

It should be made up of 2-3 columns of bullet points of your relevant skills.

Before you do this, look over the job description and make a list of any specific skills, specialisms or knowledge required.

Then, make sure to use your findings in your list. This will paint you as the perfect match for the role.

Work experience/Career history

By now, you’ll have hooked the reader’s attention and need to show them how you apply your skills and knowledge in the workplace, to benefit your employers.

So, starting with your most recent role and working backwards to your older roles, create a thorough summary of your career history to date.

If you’ve held several roles and are struggling for space, cut down the descriptions for your oldest jobs.

Structuring your roles

Your work experience section will be long, so it’s important to structure it in a way which helps recruiters to quickly and easily find the information they need.

Use the 3-step structure, shown in the below example, below to achieve this.

Start with a brief summary of your role as a whole, as well as the type of company you worked for.

Undertook a week’s voluntary placement and offered support to 3 pharmacy staff to ensure the accurate dispensary of prescription medication; reported to the Pharmacy Manager.

Key responsibilities

Next, write up a punchy list of your daily duties and responsibilities, using bullet points.

Wherever you can, point out how you put your hard skills and knowledge to use – especially skills which are applicable to your target role.

• Processed prescriptions requiring the use of the cash desk and till, as well as the delivery of effective customer services when managing customers.
• Counted tablets and measured specific liquid quantities, prepared labels for medicines,

Key achievements

Finish off by showcasing 1-3 key achievements made within the role.

This could be anything that had a positive effect on your company, clients or customers, such as saving time or money, receiving exemplary feedback or receiving an award.

In your education section, make any degrees, qualifications or training which are relevant to Entry Level roles a focal point.

As well as mentioning the name of the organisation, qualification titles and dates of study, you should showcase any particularly relevant modules, assignments or projects.

Interests and hobbies

The hobbies and interests CV section isn’t mandatory, so don’t worry if you’re out of room by this point.

However, if you have an interesting hobby , or an interest that could make you seem more suitable for the role, then certainly think about adding.

Be careful what you include though… Only consider hobbies that exhibit skills that are required for roles as a Entry Level, or transferable workplace skills. There is never any need to tell employers that you like to watch TV and eat out.

Essential skills for your Entry Level CV

Tailoring your CV to the roles you are applying for is key to success, so make sure to read through the job descriptions and tailor your skills accordingly.

However, commonly desired Entry Level skills include:

• Learning skills – It’s critical that you can show that you have the ability to learn new processes and retain information.
• Adaptability – Employers will be looking for evidence on your CV that you can be flexible and able to apply your skills in different situations.
• Listening – You’ll need to show on your entry level CV that you understand the importance of listening and following direction.
• Communication – Demonstrate that you can communicate effectively in a range of different ways, from speaking to writing an email.
• Interpersonal – Outstanding interpersonal skills demonstrate that you are a team player and will work well with others to the overall success of the organisation.

Writing your Entry Level CV

Once you’ve written your Entry Level CV, you should proofread it several times to ensure that there are no typos or grammatical errors.

With a tailored punchy profile that showcases your relevant experience and skills, paired with well-structured role descriptions, you’ll be able to impress employers and land interviews.

Good luck with your next job application!

Our Services

Admissions Support

US / Ivy League Admissions

UK / Oxbridge Admissions

EU Universities Admissions

Medical School Admissions Support

US College Sports Recruitment

Postgraduate / MBA Admissions

Research Mentorship

Internships

College Tours

Oxbridge Residential Program

Accredited Online School

Junior Admissions Support (11-14)

US Boarding School Program

Crimson Foundation Programs

Our Mission

Meet the Singapore Team

Our Reviews

Our University Admissions Experts

Student Success

Crimson In the News

Crimson Scholarships

Crimson Access Opportunity

Careers at Crimson

Free Resources New

Webinars & Workshops

Ebooks & Infographics

Successful College Applications

US & UK University Profiles

Practice Standardised Tests

ACT Practice Tests

SAT Practice Tests

• Personal Essay Topic Generator

Summer Apply - Best Summer Programs

Calculators & Converters

US College Admissions Calculator

UK University Chance Calculator

IB to GPA Converter

SAT / ACT Convertor

Singapore Case Studies

Top of the Class Podcast

+65 6909 2004

Chat with us

Go back to all articles

Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

More Articles

How to apply to uk universities with your ib score: a guide for students in singapore.

U.S. College Application Deadlines: What You Need to Know

Applying to US Universities with A-Levels from Singapore: A Brief Guide